to thibk there's a lot of mansplaining going on at the moment?

[StealthPolarBear]

On mn I mean. Just something I seem to be spotting more and more.
happy to be told I'm wrong in words of one syllable

shutupthomas
I am not surre it is possible to reason with such misogynistic-view- holders tbh.
I have met actual people who deny the moonlamdings and there are some who deny the holocaust ever happened. Honestly! Even with something that huge and appalling there are people who are so filled with hate and blindness to the truth that they will deny that terrible event.
You cannot expect a misogynist to spot sexism any more than you can expect Jeremy Clarkson to become a bicycle-riding vegan.

It's so great when threads prove their own point so quickly! Post about mansplaining and a man comes along and splains to us why it's just a silly lady-illusion! Love it.

On a related note, see featured Jr Doc thread...

I've been mansplained to about how to fold my own folding bike, by a cabbie. He didn't know about how to do it and in fact nearly broke the hinge but I let him for a couple min - because I did have a moment of doubt thinking, what if my folding technique is wrong and he knows a better way? Madness. I hate how it can make you doubt your own reality. Countless professional examples, too.

Yes goldenapples
Come on stealthpolarbear you can admit it now, those posters werre friends of yours who you paid to post in order to prove your point.

thegolden

If that post is aimed at me regarding a man coming long and proving it's "just a silly lady thing"
Then please educate me on where in my posts I've done that. Only through education can one learn. So show me please my example of mansplaning so I can try to make sure i don't of it again.

Daddy, it's not up to women to educate you. If you just talk less, and listen more, you'll get it...

Any response to misogynistic shite you were spouting in the post I just quoted, DaddyDr?

It is hilarious though that on a thread about mansplaining, various men have contributed only to kindly explain to us why mansplaining doesn't actually exist

The famous example was a man who mansplained the meaning of a complex sociological book to a woman who just happened to be the author of the book. She tried telling him that it was her book but he wouldn't listen. It took another man to shut him up... It was on Twitter

By the way Kiss that was the best wrong link posted ever!!!!

I think someone, sorry can't remember who, nailed it upthread when they mentioned approval. Mansplaining is sometimes a way that a man lets you know that he is Approving what you do, and Taking An Interest, a bit like when I talk to a 5 year old about his lovely art work.

It's a verbal pat on the head.

Well I'm not sure how I'm going to answer my wife when she asks what I'm cooking tonight and how I intend to cook said food, I'd hate her to think I'm a woman hater.

I love how men say shit like this - amongst a bunch of misogynistic crap - as if to demonstrate "SEE? I'm not one of the BAD guys! I do WOMEN'S WORK TOO! I do my share! I'm a MODERN MAN! My wife likes me!" Fuck off.

AndDaddyDr, you ask us to show you where you were "proving it's "just a silly lady thing"" - um, maybe try re-reading the post where you said women were moaning about misogyny and "looking for problems". That's minimising and telling us the misogyny doesn't really exist and we're just turning our head sideways and squinting until the Magic Eye picture turns into misogyny.

You cannot expect a misogynist to spot sexism
THIS.

As I explained on the face painting (mentioned) thread, but it seems some people are very selective about what they read and how it's read,
I explained myself with a link in the understanding I wasn't being very clear with my description, as opposed to the other person (whom I should add, I don't know if it's a man/woman/transgender) not understanding it.

Well, here's the link for the thread for the selective memory person... I'll let anyone interested judge.

"DaddyDr Wed 17-Feb-16 14:11:56
How about a couple of pots of army face paint that he could use straight away at the paint balling. (...)"

"Lweji Wed 17-Feb-16 15:44:05
My DS would hate any face painting.
It could be risky."

"DaddyDr Wed 17-Feb-16 16:05:17
Lweji
It's not face painting as such though, something along these lines.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B005REGQ5M/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1455725006&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=army+face+paint"

Well, thanks for the explanation, as if I, specifically, had no idea what army face paint was. Or had even asked what it was. Well... it's face paint. And the type used by the army. To be used in the manner that soldiers use.

BTW, that was taken lightly and jokingly by me, but it's still an example of how men feel the need to explain things to women. And it was very likely that I was a woman posting, as most of us are women.

And, by the way, I never said I was a card carrying feminist. It's not even an expression I have ever used or will ever use.

AndDaddyDr, you ask us to show you where you were "proving it's "just a silly lady thing"" - um, maybe try re-reading the post where you said women were moaning about misogyny and "looking for problems". That's minimising and telling us the misogyny doesn't really exist and we're just turning our head sideways and squinting until the Magic Eye picture turns into misogyny.

Well finally I got an answer.
I personally don't think it comes across as minimising any problem, and that wasnt my intension when writing that (I also a knowledge i went a bit of course on that bit) but I guess that's the problem with the Internet and written word, it an be interpreted in different ways.

As for the comment "it's not up to women to educate you" when I politely asked a question so as to learn. Well done you, with that kind of thinking the world will be a nicer place.

I think with that, I'm out of this thread, having learned something new overall.

I realise it wasn't you that said you were (not) a card carrying feminist. That was mistaken post identity.

if you are criticising something I, a man, have done, then the logical next step must be for me to cease doing this thing and anything that could be considered similar, in all contexts, at all times. With an unspoken 'and see how you like them apples'.

God! I know I keep banging on about my BIL, but yes, yes, he does that matildabeetham.

It doesn't even have to be criticism, it can simply be a woman saying she doesn't want to do it that way. He takes that as criticism and says, as if you will be devastated by this killer line: 'Okay. Have it your way.'

Yes, I think I will.

I personally don't think it comes across as minimising any problem

Bullshit. You just don't care because it's an issue that doesn't affect you. Pro tip: when several members of a traditionally marginalised group tells you that you are behaving in a negative way towards them, the correct response is not to go:

• "I am not!"
• "You're overreacting."
• "You're looking for problems."
• "This issue doesn't really exist."
• "Don't you have more important things to worry about?"
• "Well, golly gosh, I didn't mean to, I'm NICE."

The correct response is "I'm sorry. I have now learned. I won't do it again."

another great post Darth - I'm just trying to imagine a situation where e.g. several Asian colleagues told me something I did came across as racist and patronising, and me doing the whole defensive act you outline, rather thatn just going "Oh shit I'm SO sorry", taking a good and upsetting look at myself and doing my bloody best to stop it.

No, can't think of one. Even if they way they said it annoyed me, I'd appreciate that they knew better than me about whether I'm coming across (TO THEM) as racist etc. And so there is literally no defence.

Loving the idea that 'have it your way' is somehow meant to be a problem for the listener.

Totally shows how the BIL is so convinced that HIS way is better, so anyone not doing things his way is going to suffer horribly and regret that they didn't listen to him. He misses the whole point that the other person is actually a person, who wants to do things their own way, not sit adoringly at his feet like a young acolyte, awaiting his say-so to do things just like him.

Ah classic.

Woman: I experience X and X really affects my life
Man: X doesn't exist
Other woman: I've experienced X too
Man: Well, women do Y.
Woman: Yes women do Y. Anyway back to X, why does X happen?
Man: X doesn't happen.
Woman: What makes you an authority on women's experiences?
Man: I expected you to be better than that.
Woman: Eh?
Other woman:
Man: Oh great! Now I can't do A or B or C ever again!
Woman: Eh?
Man: I never said X didn't exist
Woman: Yes you did
Man: I was misinterpreted
Woman: Right
Man: EDUCATE ME!
Woman: No thanks.
Man: You're not very nice.
Woman: I'm devastated that you think that

Lovely summary, Sparrowhawk. I feel like that should be pinned somewhere - in FWR perhaps :)

Oh yes Matilda. And also,

Man: you have no evidence for that
Woman:
Man: I'm not going to read all that!
Woman: You claimed I had no evidence
Man: Yes, well I've said what I want to say

Also

Man - why should I care about X anyway? You don't care about

Lilac - something like: "Why should I care about teenage girls being catcalled until they're scared to go out? You don't care about... Mike Tindall's wonky nose that he got playing men's rugby with other men. So... yeah!"