To ask guests to contribute to my wedding?

[DontForgetTheLightAlesLawrence]

Please give your honest thoughts on what you would think to receiving this in a wedding invitation.

Along with saying yes or no to coming, and whether you have any special dietary requirements, it has a bit saying that all drinks on the day/evening will be free, with a small contribution request, on the return of the invitation. Childrend drinks are free so no contribution required: non alcohol drinking adults £5, alcohol drinking adults £10.

Bloody hell, if this is real you are going to have a shitload of people talking about you behind your back. And many not turning up. What a palaver over nothing.

But as you keep trying to show with all the 'crying laughing' and winky faces, that's cool with you I guess.

Haha we best both hope that we don't actually know each other then.....since this is anonymous and we could be good friends in real life for all we know

I'm all for informal weddings and unusual weddings, I just think this all sounds a bit faffy and unusual for the sake of making sure your being non-traditional.

We already live together and have kids too. The whole situ is messed up 😂
I'm also making my maiden name my middle name, and taking on Mr Rabs name as my surname. And I've opted to have an almost identical ring to my engagement ring, just a different colour, in place of a wedding band as I don't like them. I can't think of anything else we re doing that's untraditional? May as well get it all out now before it slips out later and causes more confusion. Oh and no cake! Well, we are considering a cheese cake. As in, actual cheese with crackers.

bill yeah it is absolutley, but a whole year later?!?

Yep. Whole year later. Almost on the anniversary, but not quite as its not a weekend date.

Oh sorry, I'm on desktop view I didn't see the Bill.

Deregistered I am a serial over emoji-er. Habit I guess from Facebook.

Living together and having kids before getting married isn't unusual either. It's more unusual nowadays for people not to live with each other before marriage.
I think you like the idea of being a bit wacky and out there, but you are thinking to hard about it.

I think having a fake wedding a year after you decided to get married because you couldn't wait but still want people to treat it the same is beyond tacky. Especially as people have to pay travel costs to attend at wedding. I think vow renewals are quite self indulgant and i wouldn't attend one. Its a wedding day not a big massive event every year. I'm confused ryanairbride are you the bride wanting people to pay 10pounds for a drink? To afake wedding?

Right.
So 1) you are getting married at a registry office in 2 weeks ( I assume you have booked it, taken in your id, paid upfront and given 4 weeks notice for the banns to be displayed?)
2) on your 1st wedding anniversary you are having a big party in your back garden
3) you are providing food and some drinks at your party
4) for other drinks, rather than BYOB you want your guests to give you a tenner each

It is confusing Unnerved!

Look honestly Ryan, why don't you just throw a big party, pick up the tab, buy some cheap fizz and wine, forget any expensive trappings then have a toast your wedding on the day. Otherwise you will look bonkers.

This thread is now reminding me of the woman whose sister threw a 'naming ceremony' party for which she circulated a gift list to guests - her kids were 8 and 6!

candykane

• yep we've done all that
• not in our back garden, at a barn maybe about 20 mins away
• yes
• it was a thought to do that, but based on feedback we've had from here and other places I asked this question, we are going to have a bar set up, buy the booze discounted and have low bar prices to cover the cost of the alcohol.like a £1 a drink or something. All the soft drinks free.

im not sure what you want my response to be unerved and dereg

Had to attend a dinner party the other night where there was no wine but I survived the experience. The hosts couldn't afford to serve alcohol and they are too old-fashioned to ask guests to bring their own. But a good evening was had by all. Alcohol is great but it's only alcohol, and it's acceptable to get married without it if you can't afford it.

Parties without alcohol are grim, but you can get round that by having the wedding in the morning/early afternoon and serving tea and cakes after. Most people can survive a morning or afternoon without booze. It's not actually a legal requirement to have alcohol present at weddings. People only do it because it's fun, but if you can't afford it that's ok too.

ryan just hide the thread. I've seen this kind of thing before. It's just going to degenerate into a bunch of women with nothing better to do on a Saturday night ripping apart every aspect of your wedding for kicks.

It sounds lovely and I'm sure you will have a great day and your family and friends will love it too.

A barn "wedding" in February? Surely it will be freezing??

l I didn't think it was "wacky" before it was posted here. I still don't think it is. You guys just seem to be quite traditionalist.

+ryan* it sounds fab actually but please be upfront with people and announce your nuptials the day after the actual weddings and say you've not been able to plan a big party this year but to save the date for DATE 2017 for a big ol hoe down to celebrate big time.
Then send the invites with people clear about what's happening.
Are you on Pinterest? Lots of inspiration there.

Just call it what it is though, an anniversary party.

I hope it's not! But we'll get heaters and lots of blankets etc. People will know to dress warmly as well I hope!

kawliga did none of the guests bring a bottle? I find that quite rude!

Ryan it sounds like you have been treated rather harshly on this thread. I think most people would consider it odd to ask for a flat charge though. I see you are setting up a bar after the feedback here. Have you considered the licensing requirements if you do this?

The wording that got suggested on Facebook was "to celebrate the marriage of" but maybe if we just tell everyone before the invites then the wording doesn't really matter so much?

Oh and we are not traditional. I waddled down the registry office aisle at 5 months pregnant, got married in a venue that was a theatre and not a wedding venue and had guests manning our own bar.
We are just honest.

Ryanairbride you wedding obessed. You want your big day and you want your guests to fund it. You want all the attention and gifts that comes with it. I find it werid you would trick people. I think you should be straight with what it is, its not a wedding its a party. Yes people will treat it differently because its not what you say it is. If you wanted the special day you could of waited and done it properly.

People who get married abroad often need to go to the reigstery office to register the marriage so its legal and have a PARTY shortly after for those who couldn't attend not almost a year later. Its a big difference to what your doing. I would be fuming if i spent more on a gift outfits travel to find out it wasn't a proper wedding not to meantion been asking for a 10pounds up front!

Theres more to life than a wedding day its one day thats it. A marriage can last alife time if you allow it.

Deregistered you're just being nasty for the sake of it now, give it a rest will you.