To ask guests to contribute to my wedding?

[DontForgetTheLightAlesLawrence]

Please give your honest thoughts on what you would think to receiving this in a wedding invitation.

Along with saying yes or no to coming, and whether you have any special dietary requirements, it has a bit saying that all drinks on the day/evening will be free, with a small contribution request, on the return of the invitation. Childrend drinks are free so no contribution required: non alcohol drinking adults £5, alcohol drinking adults £10.

You posted all this on Facebook?!

You can't invite people to your wedding if you got married a year earlier. It's totally fine to have a big party or whatever but people will think you are really weird if you invite them to a wedding and pretend to get married. Call it a vow renewal or whatever but be upfront with people.

This just gets odder and odder. I wonder what the next development will be.

£10 for all you can drink? I would be all over that.

I have been to weddings where a bloody malibu can cost close to £4.00

I think if you worded it right it would be fine, but everyone in my family would much prefer to pay £10 and drink what they want then pay wedding bar prices.

on the Facebook group that this question was posted to I mean. I only joined here today because this was here. I'm just on Facebook usually!

At least the entry fee will be a non issue when people realise they have paid for flights for a party in a field and not a wedding as per the invite.

andfaraway you are correct. We are quite poor at the minute! Blame the kids.

We had ours at a friend's farm and just had a bar company come and serve drinks we bought ourselves, it was surprisingly cheap, only about two grand in all to have a bar, three bar men and unlimited free drinks which weren't all finished. That included wines beers spirits and a cocktail list. I just couldn't invite people to a party and expect them to pay for anything themselves.

We will be telling people we are married. Prior to the wedding lol I meant we hadn't decided it we would announce it when we sign the paper work it out something in the invites!

*put

Is there a way to edit posts with spelling mistakes?

*or put

I don't think many will travel for it, I wouldnt. It's ok if local as you can just sling some jeans on for the field but expecting people to make flights for just a party is selfish.

If you want the whole big do, then save and do it when you can afford it.

You can't seriously expect guests to travel that far for a first anniversary party in a field/barn.

You make no sense?! You said dontforget may have known you were getting married this year and planning a party next year if she had read your Facebook thread about it?! But then said that the Facebook thread is just this thread posted on Facebook? But dontforget wrote this thread, so did she know you were planning a vow renewal next year as you are getting married this year?

I think they will tbh, so does Mr RAB. We all flew out to Greece for a friends wedding. Few years ago, but they didn't teach technically get married there and they'd gotten married in a registry office at home a few months before. They had a lovely ceremony on the beach though! Not that I saw it as I was hidden in the shave feeding a 4 week old 😀 Didn't even think on it tbh, we were just happy to be celebrating with them!

Me and the OP know each other through a Facebookgroup. I've been posting in there all about our wedding plans. Today I posted about this bar question, and OP suggests putting it in here to get a fresh set of eyes on it. Whether the OP had read all of my posts about the wedding I don't know.

Add message | Report | Message poster Ryanairbride1234 Sat 13-Feb-16 19:01:25
I think they will tbh, so does Mr RAB. We all flew out to Greece for a friends wedding a Few years ago, but they didn't technically get married there as they'd gotten married in a registry office at home a few months before. They had a lovely ceremony on the beach though! Not that I saw it as I was hidden in the shade feeding a 4 week old 😀 Didn't even think on it tbh, we were just happy to be celebrating with them!
Bookmark

YABU. Although, it depends on who you are inviting. I wouldn't mind if it was my best friend or family member. Could you perhaps just have a wedding and smaller reception with family only?

Havent RTFT but, personally, I love the idea. But i dont come from a pretentious family who have odd notions about how exactly weddings 'should' be conducted. I come from a large family where weddings are seen as a great big family gathering where everyone gets pissed more or less. Usually whilst everyone is secretly grumbling under their breath or not under their breathe at having to fork out £35 for a round of 4 drinks. £10 donation for a drink all you want. Where'd I sign up. The only other suggestion I can think of is that one wedding I went to the bride and groom had bought all the booze (this was held in a village hall) and hired a couple of locals to act as barmaids. A tub was laid out and whilst drinks were free donations were accepted. I think they probably raised more that £10 per person (going by looking at the tub by the end of the night). That was a great wedding everyone was drunk as a skunk by the end of the night. As a poor wedding guest, id much prefer the free bar with donation, payable in advance or not. I jsut assume people who dont agree with this are really really rich and dont mind paying rip off prices for a vodka and coke.

Oh ok.

I just don't get it. Get married and celebrate it with a party on the day or don't, the idea of a vow renewal celebration only a year down the line is just ridiculous.

When we got married we wanted to have a celebration with all our family and friends, but couldn't afford to do that straight away. So waited another year to save the finances. That's what most people do.

It's only close friends and family coming already, there's just a lot of them lol There's not anyone we would want to cut.

I know most people do it that way, but we aren't. Nothing wrong with things being done outside of the norm from time to time imo.

But why are you treating an anniversary celebration as a wedding, you have even called it a wedding, as has the Op in the title! If I was invited to somebody's 1 year wedding anniversary party, I would think they are incredibly self indulgent people and I wouldn't go. Just wait another year to do the whole shebang, what's the big rush to get married?

Haha harrassed me too 😂 Some of Mr Rabs family are quite traditional though. Luckily 5 years in, they are quite used to my ways now

That wedding you mention sounds a good idea. What kind of tubs did they use?

So this isn't a wedding but an anniversary?

I'm bloody lost.

Luckily for both of us L, you aren't invited 😉 I don't think our actual friends wouldn't come. We would never be like that with our friends either!

God, it's extremely common to get married and have a party later these days. I must know about a dozen people who've done exactly that.