Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Original poster

To have a word with the school about birthday treats?

279 replies

BananaPie · 11/02/2016 19:10

Ds is in reception. On their birthday, kids are allowed to bring in treats to dish out to classmates at the end of the day. The other day, ds came out with a piece of cake, a chocolate biscuit and a lolly.

Now, I'm more than happy for ds to have the odd treat, but I do like to choose what and when he has them. That said, it does seem pretty churlish to whip them away when all his classmates are tucking in, and I couldn't quite face the resulting tantrum on the way home. Ds ate them all, but was on a sugar high for the rest of the evening which made bedtime a bit of a nightmare.

Would it be unreasonable to talk to the school about types / amounts of treats allowed? Some people just bring in a box of celebrations or similar and each child takes one, which I have no problem with. Or should I just confiscate as much as possible from him in the playground and deal with the tantrum?

OP posts:

ChoudeBruxelles · 11/02/2016 20:54

Oh don't be so miserly. Let him have the cake and wrap the biscuit up for another day.

If he tantrums he gets nothing.

Only1scoop · 11/02/2016 20:54

Bo
I'm with you

'Now class form a neat line to receive you're birthday apple'

Wolfiefan · 11/02/2016 20:55

The problem wasn't the treats. It was the fact that you couldn't say to your child to save some for the next day.
If we had the same DD would get to eat whichever wouldn't keep well overnight and the rest would be saved for another day.
You need to deal with the tantrums.

Pedestriana · 11/02/2016 21:01

If it's one a week, DD's allowed to have them on the way home from school, if there are more than one lot handed out, they have to go in the cupboard and are eked out as and when.

(In 'cluster times' I have recirculated the surplus sweets to other people)

Jesabel · 11/02/2016 21:03

Surely it's better for their teeth to eat treats all in one go instead of saving them to have over a few days?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 11/02/2016 21:08

I think it would be very unreasonable to go in like a dictator, and who does the school decide the parents that are and aren't allowed to send sweets in. .It's a few sweets hardly the end of the universe

Sparklingbrook · 11/02/2016 21:11

Mine are teens now. I have missed my chance to get angsty over birthday goodies dished out at First School.

I always sent in fun size chocolate bars. I feel glad sometimes that they were 9 and 12 by the time I found Mumsnet.

ReadyPlayerOne · 11/02/2016 21:12

If my kids are given lollies or hard sweets I take them off them, but baked goods are fine by me. Equally if presented with, as the OP says, a cake, a biscuit and a lolly at pick up time I would let them have one thing to eat then and they could have the other later.

What I would not do is complain to the school.

CooPie10 · 11/02/2016 21:13

Seaweed crackers? Urghwhat did those kids ever do to you?

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 11/02/2016 21:13

Yes please

Dbsparkles · 11/02/2016 21:14

Urgh someone did this when ds was at pre school. One person complained and it got stopped. Was such a shame as it was most of the way through the year so most of the class had been allowed to bring treats for their birthday, then it was stopped for the last few. Miserable parents I say!

Only1scoop · 11/02/2016 21:14

Can't you soop it up birthday stylie with a few raisins on a stick?

PinanNidan · 11/02/2016 21:17

Please don't make a fuss. For dd who has SN and despite being a kind and lovely girl never had anyone to come to her birthday party, (she was always into younger stuff than her peers) taking sweets in was the only child related enjoyment she got on her birthday

Blowninonabreeze · 11/02/2016 21:21

It happens. My kids (at 10and 8) still know they have to ask before eating anything given at school. (I invariably say yes- unless I have an alternative treat planned)

They wouldn't be allowed multiple things, would have to save them for another night.

They also know that they either eat it in the playground and be prepared to share it with their 2 siblings, or they save it for after tea when I can come up with an alternative for the other 2 children.

If you establish the rules and don't back down, you shouldn't have tantrums. I'd be VERY cross with a tantruming school aged child.

Mominatrix · 11/02/2016 21:28

Seaweed crackers a very high in salt. Tsk tsk!

dustmyduvet · 11/02/2016 21:28

I find these threads pretty soul-destroying. For starters it's such a First World "Problem". Secondly, your child is kindly being offered a small food treat by an excited class mate - it's not crack. Let your child be a child and share in the fun of his friend's birthday.

puzzledleopard · 11/02/2016 21:29

In the welcome pack we got from the school it says on birthdays children can take a small present and show cards but ask mummy not to send birthday treats because some of the children will not be allowed them.
Also mentions holidays as lots of people buy sweets on holidays and bring them back which is also not allowed so basically no treats! Though I dont remember treats in primary school other than dessert with school dinner.

But I once made homemade mini cupcakes for DD Nursery, I knew exactly what I put into them and let the nursery know the ingredients and they were fine with it but I can see the other side of it but I thought that in moderation it would be fine.

grannytomine · 11/02/2016 21:29

My dentist told me to let them have the sweet treats in one go, spreading them out over days is worse for their teeth. I am sure I read raisins are worse than chocolate.

When my kids were small they had a choice if we went to shops after school, the sweet shop or the greengrocers where they would choose a small bunch of grapes or a little bag of cherries. They would choose the fruit as often as the sweets. If you tell them the sweets are the special treat they will think that, if you present cherries as the treat then they accept that. I would rather have the cherries and was the same as a child but I could have sweets if I wanted.

I don't believe in the sugar rush, I had a friend whose child was the quietest most lifeless child I ever met. She would say, "Look at him, he's hyped up with sugar again." I would look at mine racing round and hers sitting not moving and wonder how she could tell when he was hyper but each to their own. Every family is entitled to their own ways, for example I would let mine have a treat and siblings wouldn't get anything to make up for it, if they moaned they would be told when they got treats they could have them, not always the same for everyone everytime.

usual · 11/02/2016 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlimeyCrikey · 11/02/2016 21:34

We usually save them for after dinner, but we do eat early at around half 4 as they're staaaaaaarving by then. Your child is in reception so now is the time to get that in place if you want to.

readyforno2 · 11/02/2016 21:40

Pippi
In the last nursery I worked in we asked for shop bought so we could guarantee the children with certain allergies could have some too.
Yy to the poster who mentioned the state of a friends kitchen. One persons clean could be another persons nightmare.

RunnerOnTheRun · 11/02/2016 21:45

Completely 100% reasonable!! Our school just announced a cull of sweeties and I jumped for joy!! The teachers all confessed these birthday sweets were causing a lot of hassle too. We are now a "healthy school" and we have finally regained control of our own children's treats. I was so over Haribo and sticky lollies coming out of school and arguments over sharing/not sharing with siblings.

fakenamefornow · 11/02/2016 21:46

Yes please do speak to the school, hopefully they will ban this.

My little boy had a birthday recently, he made I made 36 cakes so that he could take them to school. Bloody pain that I could do without.

zipzap · 11/02/2016 21:47

when the dc were in infant school, they weren't allowed to hand out food based birthday treats due to assorted issues with allergies, sugar, healthy eating awards and whatnots.

They were allowed to take in other treats to hand out though - tended to be little trinkets, think of things that you might find in a party bag. So - a pencil, some stickers, a little bouncy ball, little note book or rubber, that sort of thing. You could do it pretty cheaply - get a handful of bits from ebay. I don't think I ever paid more than I would have done if I'd bought a bag of mini haribo bags or fun sized bars for the class. Some people even made little bookmarks or similar if they didn't want to buy anything but still wanted to give out something.

Then everyone was happy - dc still got their treats, nobody had to worry had to worry about sweets or homemade biscuits.

Having said that, they are now at junior school - where they are allowed to take in sweets or chocolate if they want. And whilst it might cost the same it must be said it is much easier to pop into the supermarket and pick up a bag or two of fun sized bars than being organised in advance and getting something cheaply off ebay!

t1mum · 11/02/2016 21:47

I'm with you OP. I wish the school culture wasn't some fetishising of a child's right to eat sweets and cakes. It's not "ruining their fun" to "deprive" them of sweets, etc. It's not the occasional bit of sugar, per se, it's the idea that fun and sugar are somehow entwined. What's wrong with bringing in some sticker sheets or something if they need to celebrate their birthdays.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12