To have a word with the school about birthday treats?

[BananaPie]

Ds is in reception. On their birthday, kids are allowed to bring in treats to dish out to classmates at the end of the day. The other day, ds came out with a piece of cake, a chocolate biscuit and a lolly.

Now, I'm more than happy for ds to have the odd treat, but I do like to choose what and when he has them. That said, it does seem pretty churlish to whip them away when all his classmates are tucking in, and I couldn't quite face the resulting tantrum on the way home. Ds ate them all, but was on a sugar high for the rest of the evening which made bedtime a bit of a nightmare.

Would it be unreasonable to talk to the school about types / amounts of treats allowed? Some people just bring in a box of celebrations or similar and each child takes one, which I have no problem with. Or should I just confiscate as much as possible from him in the playground and deal with the tantrum?

Thank you, RunnerOnTheRun yes, you're spot on. My son does have type 1 so sometimes I have to force feed him glucose in the middle of the night. I know I'm sacrificing his dental health to keep him alive, and I wish I didn't have too .

He's incredibly good about saving any sweets he's given to use when he's having a hypo, but he does come home crying because the other children get to eat sweets and cakes in front of him because their "fun" can't be compromised - the right to sugar trumps the need to be inclusive. (He can eat the sweets with meals if his insulin dose is adjusted properly, btw.)

Type 1 is autoimmune, so no amount of homemade granola could have stopped him from getting it. But working everyday to try to prevent hideous complications and ensure that he psychologically adjusts to living differently, it does make me very conscious that:

a) we live in a culture that has bought into the marketing of sweets as essential accessories to children's fun - it's like the worst peer pressure in the world to eat stuff that is bad for you - and that sweets and cakes proliferate
b) that culture, if not challenged, risks our children's health when they are adults (children don't in generally get Type 2 diabetes, but obese children generally become obese adults and that increases their risk of horrible diseases)

No, that's outdated and wrong information, the quality of the calorie definitely matters. Read about it... Read Fat Chance by Dr Lustig among many others similar.

Oh, I don't eat sweets, very rarely eat cake, cook everything from scratch, don't drink much juice, never drink caramel lattes and I'm a fat fuck.
That's because I eat too much bread and cheese. It's not all sweets.

No, that's outdated and wrong information, the quality

No it isn't, you're recommending pseudo bull. Far more experts agree that it's calories in v calories burned. It's simple maths really

T1Mum you sound like you are bringing up your son to be well educated about it and I'm certain he will thank you for it when he's older. My brother in law just got diagnosed T1 (in his 40s!) and it is so tricky so I can't imagine what it is like for a child to have to make such huge changes. I now look at fruit juice entirely differently after it was explained to me how useful it is during a hypo and if not having a hypo how dangerous it is!!

On the flipside pip I eat chocolate daily yet I pick at very small amounts of food in general so I'm quite thin.

Sweets don't make you fat. How many sweets you eat might!

My best friend eats one chocolate bar for breakfast and a small KFC burger followed by another chocolate bar for lunch. That's all. She is thin as a rake. I'm sure her insides are a mess but if you only eat 1200 calories a day you will be thin regardless of if its houmous and rye bread or one pack of haribo.

Obviously one is way worse than the other but at the most basic level, a calorie is a calorie.

Oh cats, please go do your research. Calories do matter but that quality matters a lot. 2000 calories of wholesome fresh food will save anyone from metabolic disorders compared to 2000 calories of fast food, sweets and beer for example.

Obviously one is way worse than the other but at the most basic level, a calorie is a calorie.

Yep. It's not healthy but it works.

Runner do yours. You won't become overweight from eating 1,200 calories a day of shit. You might become deficient in minerals but you won't suffer from being overweight.

You might not become over weight on the outside but a skinny person can still get any number of metabolic disorders from eating junk. It's called TOFI (thin outside fat inside). And it's my job, thank you.

I agree with TheCatsMeow that sugar isn't the only culprit in obesity. But it's the easiest one to get rid off, especially as sweets and sugar sweetened drinks because there's no nutritional value there.

By the way TheCatsMeow, people with Type 1 diabetes can eat sweets, just with insulin and with a meal if they are on insulin injections rather than a pump (because the action of the insulin peaks very differently to the sugar spike). People with Type 1 diabetes HAVE to have glucose (as tablets, sweets or in a drink) if their blood sugar level is dropping otherwise they can have a seizure or go into a coma.

Sugar is taking its turn at getting a bashing now as it's the current "thing". Before that it was carbs. Before that it was fat.

I am a bit meh about the whole thing to be honest. Everything in moderation.

Runnerontherun I'm sorry to hear about your BIL's dx. It must be horrifying at that age. It sounds like he's got the right SIL with your nutrition background. I'm on some good groups on Facebook with adult T1s. Feel free to PM me if he wants pointing to them or would like any other support.

runner it's also perfectly possible to be thin on both inside and outside, and eat sugar in moderation, and relation to your physical output.

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

There is no need for every child to hand out treats on their birthday. Ffs when did we become so obsessed with giving food as treats and with all this crap about birthdays.

I am not the type of mum who won't let my dc's eat sweets/chocolate but I just don't see why this is necessary at all. Why can't they sing happy birthday and make a big deal of the birthday child instead?

And to those who told the op to keep the poor teacher out of it - sorry but when my children are in school I expect the teacher or head teacher to be the voice of reason. Yes our kids are only young once. Yes we can brush their teeth after or space out the treats. But the fact is its not necessary. We can make children feel special in other ways.

Haribos don't = long term happiness!!!

Well, what are your traditions for birthday celebrations in general? If you grew up in a household and society where you simply sang Happy Birthday and then got on with your day, then you have a point.

Why celebrate anything with food?

I did grow up with birthday cakes, and I do bake cakes for my children to share on their birthdays, and they enjoy the ritual.

Food is the main part of enjoying my birthday

Interesting point about necessity. I don't think anybody is saying that cake or Haribos are a necessity - neither are parties, presents, or party bags (frankly, I'd like to ban the last two things!). Going down this line of reasoning is absurd and pretty futile.

For those parents who are morally opposed to birthday treats, I'd say stick to your guns and don't send in any with your children and just don't allow your children to have them. Simple. I also would not confuse the issue by then having a cake when they get home for their own birthdays.

But at school?

Food is very much a part of our birthdays too - that I agree with. We have cake, sweets etc at my dd's birthday teas/parties. Lots of lovely things.

But to extend this to school is, in my opinion, just completely unnecessary. Surely it's an absolute pain for the parents to organise too.

It doesn't happen where we live which I am glad about

I suppose my point about necessity is more about moderation. I'm happy for my children to have lots of lovely "treats" at parties, including their own.

I just don't think that there is any good reason to extend this to school.

My posts probably make me sound like the sort of mum who doesn't allow her children to eat sugar, which couldn't be further from the truth at all!

How is it a pain to organise? You just buy a few bags of funsize stuff and put it in your childs bag. Maybe 10 seconds to calculate 'if there are 30 kids in the class and 12 in each pack, how many do I need?' And an extra 10 seconds to stick them in your shopping trolley. Hardly an absolute pain.

As to why, most kids don't invite the entire class to their party every year. Some don't have a party at all, and some don't get invited to any. So it's a cheap and easy way to celebrate with classmates.

I suppose that it is at school because the child's birthday is on a school day. many children don't have large parties and the bringing in the cakes is the celebration (or perhaps I am just a meanie!).

TBH, both my children have been at schools where cakes were brought for birthdays and it never seems to be more than once a month, so we certainly have not been drowning in cakes and Haribo packets.

I agree that it is a doddle to do cakes for school - unlike parties. Bung some ingredients into the Kitchenaid, scoop into papers, and put in the oven. Make a simple icing, spread and voila - 16 cakes to take to school plus a couple for the home celebration.

Parties on the other hand....