To categorically refuse to allow the cat in the bedrooms

[Evelight]

We just got a cat about 10 days ago. First time, finally giving in to near-constant demands for a pet. However I discussed this before, ON ONE CONDITION that the bedroom doors are ALWAYS closed and the cat is NEVER allowed in.

The first night she did meow outside our doors, not too loudly, not enough to wake you up if you're fast asleep. She has been good more or less since, though getting up to pee has become something of a nerve-wracking activity.

She is visibly happy to see us in the morning.

I am now under a constant pressure campaign to let her in the rooms.

My reasons: I don't want (so much) cat hair in our beds and clothes, your aunt got bronchitis which two specialists said was exacerbated from sleeping with a (very hairy Persian) cat, I had two bouts of bronchitis over the past two yrs, right now I am just done a bout of antibiotics for a blocked sinus/ear channel.

Their reason: she's sad and you're evil.

Mine would have to go about 150 yards to get to a tarmac road. They might get hit by traffic, it's true. However they hunt mainly around dawn and dusk and learned to survive by hunting. Cats that have been feral (as opposed to stray) have different requirements. Seeing them free on farmland, I just couldn't shut them in.

I had a cat. I let him everywhere. On the bed, on the side of the bath while I was in it. Everywhere, EXCEPT tabletops and kitchen worktops. But then I had him from when he was a kit. He was a little baby when I got him.

In a way, I treated him like I did my children (he came first however).

I still miss him. Would gladly make some space on my bed for him now.

You can only do what is right for you and yours. Although what you think is right and what your cat thinks is right may differ!

You have different cats to me gabilan and live in a different environment. That's great. they're yours.

My cat could go 50 yards either way out of the front door to get on to a major route. He would have got flattened on the first night because he'd never been allowed out in his life.

He's learning but I'm still not going to allow him to go out alone. Luckily both of us are happy with 15 minute walks around the block and him venturing into the secure garden. I accept that my neighbours think he's adorable and I am a mad cat lady.

Yes, true Limited . With an older cat that's always been in, I wouldn't be happy letting them out in an environment they couldn't deal with. Fortunately mine are wary of people and dogs and there's little traffic around.

Ha ha ha ha. They're cats. It's not up to you where they sleep. They make the rules.

Very surprised at all the people who think that cats are a law onto themselves. If you can be bothered, or if certain boundaries are important to enforce, cats can be trained. Though I accept some cats are more difficult to train than others, different temperaments and characters.
Our current cat never ever tried to jump onto a chair or table/work surface. She is completely indifferent to human food though. The only surfaces she was interested in were soft ones - sofa or beanbag, and also windowsills.
We never planned to let her go upstairs ( how do people deal with that??? Apart from the hair/chance of fleas, If the cat goes outdoors, say after rain, wouldn't you get muddy footprints all over the bedding?? Having to clean downstairs hard flooring in the morning after rain was bad enough for me) In the night she was always shut out downstairs, with access outside, in the day originally she tried to sneak in the bedrooms a couple of times, but after being told NO, scuppered and didn't try again. She is a scaredy rescue cat though and much prefers to live in the garden (never leaves the garden though - too scaredy). In the last five years since there were little children in the house again, she stopped coming in at all, she is a bit terrified of toddlers, so sleeps in the garage - has a couple of nests there - in the winter, and outside for most of the year. And she looks younger now than five years ago, and is stronger and faster, so all this outdoor living obviously does her good! (She is about 11 years old).
We used to have the catflap unlocked in the winter just in case she needs to come in (sometimes it's under 5C in the garage) to get warm, but she never did, and it froze out the kitchen, it's the type of catflap where you manually remove the shutting out door, so we just never even open it any more.

Cats who go out in the rain and get muddy paws?

What kind of weird ass cats are those?!

If I couldn't accept hair or the possibility of fleas, I wouldn't have cats.

Don't people's cats get muddy paws? It's not just our cat, I saw the footprints in friends' houses too! But that was when we lived in the area with very heavy clay soil, maybe that's why? As I said, she doesn't come in any more in this house(different area, not clay garden), so can't compare.

In the previous house used to be soo bad - like a battalion of soldiers walked round in circles , had to clean the floors first thing each morning every wet(winter)morning.

Mine go outside and get filthy. It's ok though - they wipe their paws clean on me.

I can accept hair (with difficulty, previous cats were shorthairs and barely shed,I thought it was the norm !this one, with longer hair, seems to have an infinite supply of hair to shed!) but not in the bedroom/on my face/ my baby's mouth etc).

But overall, even though I like cats - my first two were indoor grown city apartment cats - with this one since she got good at hunting - first five years was pathetic at it, but I feel quite upset by all the wounded and dead creatures. Not so much mice and shrews, though I feel it's a waste that she never eats them, but by dead birds, esp. baby birds. We barely have any in the garden, except high on a tall tree where she can't reach. I read some shocking statistics once about the damage to native species in UK done by domestic cats. And cat shit from random cats in our front garden is a pain.

RSPCA etc are of the opinion that if a cat is indoor raised from the start, they are usually happy because they don't know any different, but with a rescue former stray like ours to confine her indoors would be cruel. So on balance with my current experience, once she is gone, I'm not getting another one....want the birds in the garden to live, and know it would be impossible in our family and house to keep a cat entirely indoors.

Apart from the hair/chance of fleas, If the cat goes outdoors, say after rain, wouldn't you get muddy footprints all over the bedding??

Yes - and? As maybebabybee said "If I couldn't accept hair or the possibility of fleas, I wouldn't have cats"

Tbh as a horse owner, I track in so much mud, hay and hair that what the cats get up to seems negligible. My place is lived in, a bit untidy but fairly hygienic.

Yes - and? As maybebabybee said "If I couldn't accept hair or the possibility of fleas, I wouldn't have cats"

Or I could have a cat and shut the bedroom door

Gabilan, it's pretty different to sharing a bed with an animal though :)

Oh with my old horse I'd sit in his stable while he was lying down and he'd snooze with his head in my lap. Personally I like curling up with a cat or dog, though I understand other people don't.

i think calling you evil is over the top op, you are not evil. everyone to their own. i don't agree with you though. Different strokes for different folks. Our house is very laid back. Our cat is part of the family and is thus free to roam. She seems to like sleeping next to my pillow most nights with tbh i love. She is a long haired cat although has the type of coat that doesn't really moult, never find her fur on the bed come to think of it. My take on it is that if you let her on the sofa/in the kitchen, why not the bedroom. I sleep better when she is there, i have lots of love for her, she is my baby

Aah sweet.