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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To categorically refuse to allow the cat in the bedrooms

219 replies

Evelight · 10/02/2016 15:23

We just got a cat about 10 days ago. First time, finally giving in to near-constant demands for a pet. However I discussed this before, ON ONE CONDITION that the bedroom doors are ALWAYS closed and the cat is NEVER allowed in.

The first night she did meow outside our doors, not too loudly, not enough to wake you up if you're fast asleep. She has been good more or less since, though getting up to pee has become something of a nerve-wracking activity.

She is visibly happy to see us in the morning.

I am now under a constant pressure campaign to let her in the rooms.

My reasons: I don't want (so much) cat hair in our beds and clothes, your aunt got bronchitis which two specialists said was exacerbated from sleeping with a (very hairy Persian) cat, I had two bouts of bronchitis over the past two yrs, right now I am just done a bout of antibiotics for a blocked sinus/ear channel.

Their reason: she's sad and you're evil.

OP posts:
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Niloufes · 11/02/2016 16:40

Our cats are not allowed to go in the bedrooms or the bathroom and are shut downstairs at night so as not to have the constant scratching and meowing just outside our bedroom doors. Took years for them to 'get it', one behaves but the other will always try and get past you, its a game to him. I didn't have pets as a kid but as soon as we got them i did notice the pet hair and it being more difficult to breath, we just have to clean more often.

Moln · 11/02/2016 17:27

"One of my cats went through a phase of sleeping all night in the bathroom sink.

I did Dettol it every morning."

I thought Dettol and cats was a bad thing?

LineyReborn · 11/02/2016 17:31

The sink, Moln, not the cat.

LineyReborn · 11/02/2016 17:34

limitedperiod that cat crumb stuff is flea eggs, probably.

LineyReborn · 11/02/2016 17:34

Well this is nice Grin

limitedperiodonly · 11/02/2016 17:48

Thanks for the tip liney. I'm a novice cat owner. And made of stern stuff.

He's not particularly scratchy but he has to go to the vet next week for a booster vaccination so I'll get something from them.

HellonHeels · 11/02/2016 17:51

I love cuddling my cats in bed. YABU

limitedperiodonly · 11/02/2016 17:52

I did wonder Liney but the crumby bits seemed a bit big for flea eggs. I'll take your word for it though. Thanks. He definitely doesn't come into direct contact with other cats but he does mooch around the garden and goes in the street under supervision.

Anyway, thanks for the tip

LineyReborn · 11/02/2016 17:53

The vet can give your cat an injection, limited, to be flea-free for six months. Or you can have the liquid drops that go between the shoulder blades every month.

I got the injection for Dettol-Cat once when I could get her in the bloody cat box but use Front Line at the moment.

You probably need a spray for the house as well to be going on with. And hoover a lot.

Once you've got it under control it'll be fine. Ish.

LineyReborn · 11/02/2016 17:55

Sorry I should have said it could be flea eggs, flea shit or flea larvae. Super nice.

I don't really know what else it could be?

Zariyah · 11/02/2016 18:01

Do cats' breath not smell a bit funky? I love my dog but if I nap on the sofa, he'll join me and breath his doggy fumes into my face. He also snores loudly enough to vibrate the entire sofa which is quite impressive for an 8 kg little dog. Hmm

limitedperiodonly · 11/02/2016 18:09

Thanks for the advice liney. I'll get to it. I just thought he wouldn't get fleas because he doesn't mix with other cats. But obviously they lurk. Doh.

It was that when I first got him he was strictly indoors and I told the vet that. She gave him a full check up and vaccinations a year ago but probably didn't think he needed flea treatment. But since then I've let him out because the garden is safe.

Poor little sod. He doesn't complain about anything. He goes in the cat-box easily and likes the vet even though she stuck a thermometer up his bum and took out nearly all his teeth.

StompyFreckles · 11/02/2016 18:18

Our cat is shut away in the utility room every night - there is no way I want to be woken in the night or morning any more then I already am! We all sleep with our doors open. So there's no way we could have a cat wandering around the house at night.

Almostfifty · 11/02/2016 18:18

Mine sleep in the outside shed at night, but are indoors during the day. They are strictly controlled in bedrooms, can go in if there is someone there asleep (teenage DC, so not up till late) but we keep the doors shut otherwise.

Having seen the amount of dirt they have left on a fleecy blanket, I'm very close to banning them from beds altogether.

The other worry about beds is if they're nervy, they are prone to wee on the beds. Had to throw a mattress out once, nearly threw the cat after it...

ManneryTowers · 11/02/2016 18:24

YANBU. We had two cats and they both slept on our bed. I hated it. They had bad breath, bad farts, shed everywhere and would bite our toes in the night. DH (or DF as then) thought it was cute. This was some years ago but I have no intention of replacing the now deceased moggies!

limitedperiodonly · 11/02/2016 18:35

My cat's breath definitely doesn't smell. Not since the vet took out nearly all of his teeth after I adopted him. They were very bad. I was really worried because he's getting on and I thought he might not cope with a general anaesthetic. A number of expensive blood tests later and I decided to go through with it Grin

I was on the verge of tears all day but he was fine. He won't let me inspect but when he yawns I think I can see four - basically the fangs.

pictish · 11/02/2016 18:39

Yanbu it's up to you, to each their own. I let our two cats sleep on the beds and no harm has ever come as a result of it, but if it icks you out, fair enough.

Lweji · 11/02/2016 18:40

YANBU
My cat can only enter the bedrooms briefly while we are there.
He also tends go wake us up at dawn asking to be fed, so the doors are shut and he only meows when he hears us stirring. Works well for us.

ijustwannadance · 11/02/2016 18:45

My last cat was very loved for all 18 years that she was around, but shock horror, she was not allowed upstairs and was put out at night all night. We didn't own or have a litter tray for any of the cats or rabbit. I think there is a massive divide between people who have pets and those who think their animals are children/humanized.

I also don't think it's fair to have a cat that is kept inside a house 24/7 though.

myusernamewastaken · 11/02/2016 18:59

I have a very fluffy cat too....she is 15 and seems to be getting more and more affectionate as she gets older....she usually sleeps in bed with my 12 year old daughter....or if my son is home from Uni then she goes in with him.....she needs constant cuddles and attention at the moment....it is exhausting lol x

maybebabybee · 11/02/2016 19:02

My cats have to be kept inside for medical reasons. They have no interest in going out whatsoever so it's a good thing really.

Each to their own, but I'm sorry I think it's cruel to shut your cat out all night.

limitedperiodonly · 11/02/2016 19:09

I'm humanised and that's why I have a litter tray for my cat. Many other humans don't want cat shit in their gardens.

I can cross my heart and swear that my cat doesn't shit in other people's gardens but neighbours cats have done it in mine. I'm not that bothered as I know my neighbours had litter trays and were trying to wrangle at least some of the shit. Now I have a cat, though a very peace-loving one, they don't come in my garden.

My rescue cat was a strictly indoor cat for the 11 years until I got him. He's allowed out now but some people probably think he's very restricted. He is. He goes in the enclosed garden or on walks round the block with me.

I don't want an elderly cat with absolutely no road sense to get run over or get savaged by a dog because he has no fear. He wouldn't run from a dogs but I keep a look out and pick him up if I see one approaching.

You could say that cleaning out his shit pit once or twice daily and taking him for walks a couple of times a day is more committed of me than just giving him a cat flap and letting him get on with it.

OzzieFem · 11/02/2016 19:21

Some councils in Oz have a night time ban on cats as they kill native species. You can be fined $250 if caught by council rangers. They also have to be microchipped and registered just like dogs.

Gabilan · 11/02/2016 19:55

I live in a rural area so my cats are outdoor cats. They're allowed in the house when I'm in it and will sleep on the bed. They were feral for most of the first year of their lives so they wouldn't cope indoors. I find it really sweet that they've got so tame. And all the mice have been eaten moved out of the house.

Cordychase · 11/02/2016 19:58

Lycheesatnoon toxoplasmosis is quite rare in people, you are more likely to catch it from unwashed vegetables than your cat. A cat can carry the parasite from eating mice, birds etc, you would only be at risk of catching it if you touched their poo after they had eaten such prey. If you are worried about cat scratch fever you shouldn't own a cat, any cat owner could get this, it is rare I might add and cats who sleep on your bed are probably too busy sleeping to want to give you a sneaky nip/scratch.

I have done both, had my cats sleep upstairs with us at night, but now they are shut downstairs at night. Only because one of them got in to the habit of waking me at silly o'clock and I need my sleep. In daytime they have the run of the house, they aren't really shedders so don't have cat hair problem.

Whether they are up or down is personal preference, either is fine as long as they are loved, fed and have somewhere comfy to sleep.