To categorically refuse to allow the cat in the bedrooms

[Evelight]

We just got a cat about 10 days ago. First time, finally giving in to near-constant demands for a pet. However I discussed this before, ON ONE CONDITION that the bedroom doors are ALWAYS closed and the cat is NEVER allowed in.

The first night she did meow outside our doors, not too loudly, not enough to wake you up if you're fast asleep. She has been good more or less since, though getting up to pee has become something of a nerve-wracking activity.

She is visibly happy to see us in the morning.

I am now under a constant pressure campaign to let her in the rooms.

My reasons: I don't want (so much) cat hair in our beds and clothes, your aunt got bronchitis which two specialists said was exacerbated from sleeping with a (very hairy Persian) cat, I had two bouts of bronchitis over the past two yrs, right now I am just done a bout of antibiotics for a blocked sinus/ear channel.

Their reason: she's sad and you're evil.

Because I have a crapload of work to do, the most logical thing is of course to tally up the responses and see how many in each camp. Not scientific, just for fun and curiosity.

I put those who responded "yes to beds during the day but we kick them out at night" in the "no sleeping with cats" side, because that is my preferred outcome that I want to win :D But there wasn't that many- I don't think it changes the result that much.

So: yes to sleeping with cats: 27 No: 46.

Also I have to say that based on the language, those in the "no" camp tend to use stronger, more forceful language, while those in the yes have a more "giving up" or "yielding" tone. So it seems as if the decision to keep them out is one which must be actively enforced, and something you need to feel strongly about.

To those who asked why not in DCs bedroom? partly bc of the principle. We clearly talked about the no-cat-in-bedroom condition and they agreed. I don't like the backtracking. But also: I actually really like cuddling up my kids in their beds both am and night- you could say they are my cats, in that respect! and I read to them and we play games in their room (it's the bigger room), so I would rather it was cat-hair-free. There is a lot of coughing going on right now too, between the two of them, and I don't want that exacerbated.

At the heart of the matter, I'm really not an animal person myself, not having grown up with one, and it does feel a bit creepy or unusual for me to have the cat around (those staring eyes!). I only did it for the kids, so I would hope they understand and respect my boundaries too.

No seriously, I'm gonna do some work now.

Well you can try

I do try to keep the cat out of ds room. I often find him sleeping on ds bed but he senses that I am coming turns onto his back with his floppy paws half held up looking all pathetic and I know he is pretending to be asleep but he looks so cute that I don't want to move him

He is perfected the she won't move me move

at night he sleeps on my bed or on the bath mat

I've had cats my whole life. They are never allowed in bedrooms. They stand in a litter tray, stand in their own pee and then trample on your pillow. Yuck.

I love my cats but I draw the line here and cats on kitchen work tops and sofas too.

If your cats are banned from work tops, sofas and bedrooms where are they allowed?

Honestly, if people find animals so genuinely disgusting, why bother keeping the poor things?

buries face in cat

Honestly, if people find animals so genuinely disgusting, why bother keeping the poor things?

^
Exactly this.

People who don't allow cats here and there and try to control their movements aren't proper cat people.

Oh no! Will their Proper Cat Person badges be taken from them?

No, because they never had them in the first place of course.

I think you summed it up brilliantly OP, esp the insight that you aren't really "an animal person". I suspect this may be at the heart of many of the no's as well.

Well I'm not too keen on our cat in my bedroom DH doesn't mind! But I do... Only because she is a cheeky one! Who gets up and likes to entertain herself with whatever she can find!
She loves sleeping with the DC's mostly I too if the covers...even when they at school I have seen her snoozing on their beds.

But I guess it's all personal preference... So YANBU.

My family look at me like I'm mad when they know She run of the house

I honestly think the world is divided into animal people and non animal people and we will never fully understand each other.

One of the first things I found out about DP was that he loved animals. If he hadn't it would have been a deal breaker

I am currently in bed with a large fat tabby. It is warm, purry bliss.

Cats are much cleaner than humans, incidentally. Denying a child the company and comfort of a kitty at night seems cruel to me, too.

I absolutely love animals but not domestic cats. Having had two lonv term relationships with "cats everywhere" partners, I can't say I miss the cat hairs everywhere.
In fact, I would love a dog, but being a singleton who works at home but has to travel for work occasionally, I have concluded that the proper animal loving thing to do is not to get a pet who would be lonely sometimes.

I grew up with dogs and we didn't let them roam everywhere - banning cats from worktops and human beds isn't cruel or non-animal loving, it's a perfectly reasonable thing.

Cats are much cleaner than humans, incidentally

Only if you define "clean" in a really odd way.

"Honestly, if people find animals so genuinely disgusting, why bother keeping the poor things?"

Well, because a family is made up of individuals, who have to work together to make acceptable compromises. Also "not being an animal person" is different from finding them "genuinely disgusting". Personally, I do not find the cat disgusting at all- I appreciate that she makes a very pretty picture, and is a pleasant addition to the household. I pet her, handle the litter, and have been heard to talk baby-talk with her.

However, I do not have, nor do I see myself having the kind of deep emotional/physical connection with her that I hear ppl are describing here. We are a touchy-feely family generally, lots of bedtime hugs and cuddles all around. The kids extend that to the cat -DD lies on the couch with her and the blanket and they cuddle and pet for quite a while. I don't. DS is kinda in-between.

the "cruel" comment - surely that is a bit tongue-in-the-cheek, like me saying the kids call me "evil". Do you literally think it's cruel?

grew up with dogs and we didn't let them roam everywhere - banning cats from worktops and human beds isn't cruel or non-animal loving, it's a perfectly reasonable thing.

I don't think banning cats from worktops is cruel. I do think it is naive.

I'm not impressed at being told I'm not a cat or indeed not an animal person because I don't let them into my bedroom.
I would like the PP to experience a two heavy, furry ballistics right into the belly in the middle of the night and then tell me they would allow this to happen on a nightly basis. My cats are far too naughty to allow into the bed my stinky little shihtzu on the other hand is a perfectly poilte bed companion

YANBU. We've just got a cat a few weeks ago. She has the run of the house during the day but at nighttime she is shut into the back area - kitchen, dining room and bathroom, so plenty of space for her as far as I'm concerned. She has escaped a few times, and being woken by something sitting on my face has only confirmed how much I'd rather she wasn't in my room at night...

During the day - maybe watch what she does? Cat sleeps on our bed, but there's a particular spot she likes (a lovely sun spot through the south face window), we put a towel there and she seems very happy to only sit on the towel. Which I can cope with, as it's not cat hair all over the bed sheets.

I'm not impressed at being told I'm not a cat or indeed not an animal person because I don't let them into my bedroom.

I don't object to this at all - it's your house (I do think it's OTT not letting them either in the bedrooms and in a million other places though, sorry). I do object to people saying it's gross and unhygienic to have animals on the bed.

I frequently get attacked in the middle of the night. I don't really mind though. Baby on the way so am in training!

One of my cats went through a phase of sleeping all night in the bathroom sink.

I did Dettol it every morning.

maybebabydee I still suffer from occasional night terrors, so I think the combination of mad wife, lunatic cats and snoring dog would result in my DH divorcing me

chanel fair enough :)

YANBU
I used to be happy to let the cat wander around every room.
Until she adopted the spare room as her second litter tray. Absolutely DISGUSTING to clean up runny poo. I scrubbed it thoroughly etc.
However, she then did it again in the same spot a few months later so has now been banned from bedrooms.
It's a shame, I used to like her coming into our bedroom and sleeping on top of us on the duvet but no, not happening anymore.

To be fair I didn't say all the people that said no aren't "animal people", I said probably many.

I still suffer from occasional night terrors, so I think the combination of mad wife, lunatic cats and snoring dog would result in my DH divorcing me

I banned my rescue cat from the bedroom because I didn't want his white hairs on my clothes. That seemed reasonable, seeing that he was allowed everywhere else.

He seemed happy enough. He is a happy little soul. But one night just over a year ago was so cold I felt mean leaving him. He had a hot water bottle and a blanket cave but I woke up feeling cold and felt really guilty.

Since then he sleeps in the bed. Usually stretched out under the covers with his head on my pillow breathing in my face. Luckily his breath doesn't smell and is oddly cool and quite refreshing.

I don't mind the cat hairs so much as the dust and crumby particles he picks up and deposits on the sheets. I don't know where it comes from. He doesn't roll in dirt. But sheets can be washed and he's no dirtier than us.

He gets chucked out at 4 or 5am when he decides it's time to wake up and pulls my hair, bashes me in the eye and licks my face. He doesn't always do that. Sometimes he sleeps through. It's like having a baby.