To categorically refuse to allow the cat in the bedrooms

[Evelight]

We just got a cat about 10 days ago. First time, finally giving in to near-constant demands for a pet. However I discussed this before, ON ONE CONDITION that the bedroom doors are ALWAYS closed and the cat is NEVER allowed in.

The first night she did meow outside our doors, not too loudly, not enough to wake you up if you're fast asleep. She has been good more or less since, though getting up to pee has become something of a nerve-wracking activity.

She is visibly happy to see us in the morning.

I am now under a constant pressure campaign to let her in the rooms.

My reasons: I don't want (so much) cat hair in our beds and clothes, your aunt got bronchitis which two specialists said was exacerbated from sleeping with a (very hairy Persian) cat, I had two bouts of bronchitis over the past two yrs, right now I am just done a bout of antibiotics for a blocked sinus/ear channel.

Their reason: she's sad and you're evil.

YANBU - your cat, your house, your rules. You wouldn't listen to a (non qualified) stranger telling you how to raise your children, same goes for the pets. For what it's worth, our dog isn't allowed upstairs, the cat is, although not in our bedroom. DH's rules, which I understand and am happy to accept... But, if it was only up to me, things would be different!

I used to be a cat person. Two lovely kittens who slept on the end of my bed and kept my feet warm. Lovely.

They destroyed the carpet, furniture and bed. But I didn't mind because they were my babies.

15 years later they started crapping in the hall and refusing to use the cat flap. So I got a litter tray. Cue stinky kitchen and the cats getting shit all over their paws and walking all over the kitchen counter. The final straw was when I went to bed and found one of them had shit under my duvet.

I did love them but I was relieved when they died. Sticking to Guinea pigs now!

So I'm in the No camp.

To be fair I am generally a cat person, it's just this particular one (all the stories about torties are true). Hence the name.

Mine has dementia and gets lost in the house at night and cries in an unearthly manner. She's allowed in our bedroom so everyone can sleep. The silver lining is that she is too old to get on the bed so has to sleep under it

Cats always stayed out of the bedroom when I was growing up, and my sister who has two cats has the same rule.

When I was young I used to sneak the cat into my room at night.

Until she shat all over my duvet one night, and I well and truly learned my lesson.

OP- we should swap cats!

I got one thinking I'd have a nice friendly pet who'd like lap sitting and getting stroked and who'd sleep on the end of the bed.

No such luck!

Our cat is quite anti social. She is allowed in the bedrooms but will just wander in, check we are all down for the night then head off to wherever she sleeps at night!

YANBU. I have a dog and a cat. Neither are allowed in the bedrooms and never will be.

Cats on the bed? A disgrace I say! Personally, I love a good disgrace. Unhygienic? Pah. Who cares - warm snuggly purry cuddles top anything. You try saying no to this little face ...or his 5 friends. Am currently snuggling under my own cat duvet.

The only people I've known in real life who let animals in the human beds had pretty low hygiene levels in general tbh.

Pffft.

Ours sleep in our bed. They're also permanently inside cats, as living on the 4th floor in a very large city, there is no other choice.

Mine never ever goes on the work tops. He is v good generally, won't touch any food left out or anything on the table. And he miaows for his paws to be wiped after using his tray

The only people I've known in real life who let animals in the human beds had pretty low hygiene levels in general tbh

I probably have. I've got better things to care about frankly.

i grew up sleeping with the cats, it was lovely. dh however is not a cat person and puts up with the cats, my compromise for having 4 cats is no cats in the bedroom.( at least when hes about lol). the kids like the pets cuddling up with them and sleep with the dogs and usually 1 of the cats ( he thinks hes a dog too).

My cats rarely sleep on my bed, but my two Pugs love to snuggle up with me and DH, but all 3 (DH and Pugs) SNORE and FART so maybe its not a good idea

Each to their own, but I'm sorry I think it's cruel to shut your cat out all night

I agree, especially after keeping them indoors during the day.

Opinion is divided about indoor cats. Mine have always had access to outdoors and 2 rescue cats which I acquired which had been kept indoors needed very little time to take advantage of the garden. However I know there are cats who can't go out for medical reasons. The Cats Protection League and the SSPCA certainly don't say it is wrong to have an indoors cat. They do say it is wrong to lock out at night.

You are not evil, you are however ebil.

I grew up with cats and they are allowed anywhere but NOT on the kitchen surfaces (that is far grosser to me!). Tbh it is personal choice. I love my cat cuddles but I can see it grosses people out. That's their choice. I wouldn't call you evil but this is a marmite situation - I won't make you eat marmite if you don't like it. Personally I think mine are always-warm hot water bottles that don't talk back (much). And as for hygiene, I don't think it's any worse than someone sleeping in bed starkers/sticky mucky toddlers climbing into bed. We have a quilt on top of the bed and clean the sheets often.

As for food we stick to dry (advice of vets - wet food caused tooth decay) and they always have a little out downstairs. And their own water mug in the bathroom (so they don't steal ours or miow at 3am).

Whatever makes you happy, OP. Let your DC have their door open and shut yours - cat happy, DC happy and you're happy. My kids fight over who gets to have the cat in their room first.... And then the cat decides where THEY want to be!

Burmese!

Like us...

Good luck with that.

TreatCat has a variety of beds/blankets all over the house but chooses to sleep on our bed at night.

I make her a cosy wee nest at the foot of the bed - cushions covered with a cashmere cardi - and she pads and purrs happily.

During the night, she usually edges up the bed and I wake pinned down by her, sometimes staring into my face or licking it.

I don't have a picture of the cat on the bed but here are other ways he has imposed himself on me. Both blankets are acrylic and offend my colour scheme but came with him. Who was I to throw them out?

The SPCA for our province actually specifically recommends keeping a room (such as a bedroom) cat-free for reducing allergies. So the folk who have been tossing the word "cruel" around regarding keeping cats out of a room are wrong.
spcans.ca/animal-care/cats-and-kittens/

LOL at the definition of "ebil" - "Evil beyond evil. A cute or fuzzy thing gone terribly wrong". :D

I thought the cruel part was in relation to keeping them out of the house all night.

Mine were born outside and survived without a human home for the first 8 months of their lives. They now have 2 meals a day, acres of farmland to roam in, and as much hunting as they like. They can cope with sleeping in a barn or on my bed. I don' t think either is cruel or wrong. The're happy cats.

I've heard that it's not wise to let cats out after dusk because that's when most of them get killed by traffic.

But if you don't live in a high traffic area or they're road smart or just desperate to go out, then you should make the decision for them.

My cat would have got killed probably on the first night. He's a bit smarter around cars and buses now but not dogs - he likes them but most of them don't like him. He also really likes people. Most people like cats but sadly some of them don't

He's not unhappy at being kept in. He's currently sleeping somewhere in the house; I know not where but he'll make himself known when he gets hungry again .