More of a WWYD - fellow wedding guest wants my dress!

[TheSeptemberIssue]

Went on a hen do last weekend for a friends wedding. There were a few of us there, one being a woman I've met a few times before. She's lovely, we got on great etc....

I mentioned that I'd found the dress I was going to buy for the wedding, and showed it to her online. It's from a plus size website despite me being a size 14 (is that plus size??).

Got a message yesterday from this woman asking if I'd consider changing my dress choice. She is probably a size 22/24 and was saying she finds it really hard to find clothes that fit and look nice on her and she's been feeling really anxious about the wedding because of this. Turns out she's ordered the dress, it fits and she loves it. It was a very nice messaging but I'm still a bit - hmmmmmm because I love it too!

Fortunately I haven't ordered it (was waiting for payday at the end of this month) so I can change my mind but I'm not sure I want to. Just because I'm a smaller size, doesn't mean I don't have similar dress worries and anxiety about looking nice!

WWYD?

OP check out these dresses!

www.lafrivole.com/tag/fit-and-flare-skater-prom-dress-dresses-with-high-low-hem-dip-dipped-hem/

• cold not old

Hi September

Have you looked at Asos? From your picture it looks like you're after a 'skater dress' silhouette. Have had a look on asos and here's their selection of similar shape dresses

Ted baker is very similar but cap sleeves (attached pic)

Also Chi chi London dress (blue attached pic)

Attached: another Chi Chi London dress (short sleeve)

Sorry tomato have slightly cross posts - but am glad to see we found similar!

thatwouldbe we're on the same mind track

and this www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/swing-jive-dresses-c3/maeve-black-mesh-swing-dress-p1758

I'm having so much fun!

I was thinking that the original dress could look good with a red bolero. And totally different.
Just not sure about wearing two sets of long sleeves.
But it could work with a sleeveless dress.

Why would you order a dress "just to try on" that someone has already told you they are planning on wearing themselves?!

I can understand going on the same website to have a look but the exact same dress?! Cheekiness in the extreme.

Tomato you're going to ruin me by introducing me to new online clothes shops! -cuts credit card

I'd let her wear it and find something different too.

Oh that lindybop dress is lovely! Thank you tomato

I'd tell her to eff off. It's not your problem that she's fat.

Just not sure about wearing two sets of long sleeves.

I have one word for you Lweji SCOTLAND. The only people who can cope with one layer are the locals, and on most friday nights I've seen some with no layers ;)

It is a beautiful dress, glad to be of assistance. I've introduced myself to online dress shopping as well . I wish I'd known about all that's on offer three weddings ago!

Circle skirt

With a lovely top of some sort.

In fact any of the Vivien of Holloway dresses - you can get boleros for the halter neck ones. You don't have to wear a petticoat and then they just hang down more) - or you can add a petticoat for dancing later!

LadyV of London do cheaper versions.

Just looked at the sizes for the lindybob, they've only got cocktail stick, non-existant and an 8 left! Sorry!

Look this one is really similar but it's not the same dress!

www.yoursclothing.co.uk/black-and-red-floral-print-2-in-1-wrap-dress-p

It's a Scarlett and Jo dress! Love their dresses. Go directly to their website to see their full range, they have some beautiful dresses

Initially I was leaning towards saying you could be generous of spirit and agree to do as she asks (as someone who was a size 22 for a while and knows how hard it is to dress up).

But having seen the dress, and looked at other options on the same website, I've changed my mind. If she's happy to wear that there are plenty other ones on that site she could wear. As well as places like asos.com, New Look, H&M and many more that do plus size dresses.

She's being very cheeky.

I don't think I'd wear the dress. People will notice and they won't care who bought it first.

Well I know you showed it to her but she's actually bought and tried it first. I would look for something else I think. It's not really worth both of you getting upset over it is it?
I had a situation recently where I could have stamped my feet and made a fuss and been on reasonable moral ground for doing so tbh. But I gritted my teeth and played the adult and looked at another way round the situation and found that it didn't actually matter after all. Now that was a nice feeling! Much better than if I'd got my way at first tbh.

It's a nice dress. But in all honesty to me it looks like a bit of a plus-sized kind of style - in that it is cut to flatter a bigger person than you. I think you could find nicer dresses that would better flatter a slimmer frame.

Wow I love that dress OP. I'm tempted to buy it too! (Promise not to go to any of the same weddings as you)

"People will notice"

So? I wouldn't care if people noticed that I was wearing the same dress as someone else.

" I wouldn't care if people noticed that I was wearing the same dress as someone else."

No, but maybe OP would!

I'd find something else. Clothes shopping is harder for her, a proper plus size, than for you.

If you wear the same dress, you'll probably look better in it, which would demoralise her. If she's self conscious about her size, it could be painful.