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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog shit on your shoes is your own problem?

168 replies

JustAnotherYellowBelly · 07/02/2016 11:29

Hoping you ladies will help strengthen my resolve...
Bit of background:
Moved back in with DM at the end of last year in lots of debt no necessarily of my making (twatty ex). Me, 2 DDogs.
'D'p stays over roughly 6 out of 7 nights, pays no rent etc. I feed him, buy him stuff, pay for fuel (last week his £10 petrol cost me £50 as the bank ate his money - I didn't moan as he's on a 0 hours contract but he hasn't paid me back like he said he would... But anyway)
This morning DM thought that DDDog had a mouse so she called DP to go check. On his way to the end of the garden he stepped in dog poo. He came back to bed and told me I would be the one cleaning it off his shoe as they're my dogs.
I was still half asleep and laughed and said fuck off. I would never ever usually speak to him like this but he woke me up.
AIBU to not do it? They're his trainers. If they were his work shoes I would help him (which means I would end up doing it).
So who's BU?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 07/02/2016 12:12

Oh, dear god, so you have two kids, too? And this is the example of men and relationships you present them with?

'How do I though?
I have absolutely no idea how to get rid of him. My poor little DDDog is terrified of him and DSDog just tries to get away. It would be much nicer without him but I just can't do it'

You have no business dating if you let people walk all over you like this.

You throw him out.

Bag up his shit, put it on the doorstep and tell him it's over.

And start cleaning up after your dogs.

ilovesooty · 07/02/2016 12:12

This isn't like LTB though when you're breaking up a shared family home. He's camping out in someone else's house.

The OP must have shockingly low self esteem to subject herself and her mother to this.

TeddTess · 07/02/2016 12:13

LOL?
there's nothing LOL about any of this. it's tragic.

so you moved in with your mum to clear up debts from a twatty ex

and now this soon to be twatty ex is doing it to you again

KICK HIM OUT TODAY back to his mummy

Original poster
JustAnotherYellowBelly · 07/02/2016 12:14

He's much harder on the dogs than I am.
And he's 6'6, nearly 25 stone and the dogs are small (smallest is my 5.5lb chihuahua who wets herself when he shouts).
I believe in letting them be dogs not having 100% attention on me all the time

OP posts:
winkywinkola · 07/02/2016 12:16

Your dog wets herself around him? God.

I'm sorry but you are enabling this abuse of your animals. You're starting to sound as bad and as guilty as he is.

Why do you want him in your life? Big penis? What is it about him?

Bunbaker · 07/02/2016 12:16

Do you have children? It isn't clear in any of your posts if you do.

Choughed · 07/02/2016 12:17

OP are you taking any of this in? He's not at all a nice person. You aren't married, you don't live together, you don't have children. Just break up with him. What's the problem?

Costacoffeeplease · 07/02/2016 12:17

How can you not know how to get rid of someone who's a cocklodger? You tell him to fuck off, take his keys off him, change the locks - whatever it takes - you don't need him for money, support, anything really, so just tell him he's an arse and you're not putting up with it any more

And seriously, do the freedom programme - get some counselling - find out why you put up with such losers

expatinscotland · 07/02/2016 12:17

So because he's a big man you have to fund him? Is he violent?

Your problem isn't the dogs, except that you need to clean up after them, but this cocklodging loser.

ilovesooty · 07/02/2016 12:18

I think the dogs are DS (male dog) and DD (female dog).

Original poster
JustAnotherYellowBelly · 07/02/2016 12:18

I've been really ill. So he took me to the doctors and looked after me (when he wasn't being an arse).
I think I'm actually seeing him for who he really is now rather than who I thought he was

OP posts:
Pipbin · 07/02/2016 12:18

So tell me....why are you with this sack of crap? What does he do for you? Doe she make you happy?

My DH is sat here playing an xbox game at the moment but then he goes to work all week and will do the ironing later after he has made me a cup of tea. Do you see?

expatinscotland · 07/02/2016 12:19

Bun, she has 2 children from the sounds of it, not the 'partner's.

Original poster
JustAnotherYellowBelly · 07/02/2016 12:19

Yeah, sorry for confusion.
No kids only DDDog (girl dog) and DSDog (boy puppy dog)

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 07/02/2016 12:20

Your mother is looking after you, not this deadweight.

Costacoffeeplease · 07/02/2016 12:20

Anyone who made my dog wet herself would be out on his arse the first time 6' 6" or 2' 6" - poor dogs, poor mum - they'd all be better off without either of you

Wondermoomin · 07/02/2016 12:21

expat I don't think there are any children involved... I think ilovesooty is right that it's boy dog and girl dog...
OP can you confirm?

expatinscotland · 07/02/2016 12:21

Um. Right, so you are referring to your dogs as children.

diddl · 07/02/2016 12:21

All else aside, why is there dog shit in the garden?

Don't the dogs get walked?

Wondermoomin · 07/02/2016 12:21

Oops x post

MrTiddlestheFatCat · 07/02/2016 12:22

The fact your dog wets itself because its so scared of him is horrible. Is he ever violent or threatening to you, OP?

This relationship is not healthy, and nor does it sound like he's providing you with anything, except enough anguish to have to post here! Get rid, enjoy some peace with your dogs and DM, find someone more worthwhile when you're ready!

Costacoffeeplease · 07/02/2016 12:22

Our dogs get walked twice a day - we still have to pick up poo in the garden

MrTiddlestheFatCat · 07/02/2016 12:23

And diddl, I know lots of people who walk their dogs 2X a day and still let them out in the garden to do their business when they need to. If you have a big enough garden for them to play in, why not? OP said she cleaned it up regularly, but you can't be doing that every hour of every day.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 07/02/2016 12:23

Jesus woman
Do you have kids?

CalleighDoodle · 07/02/2016 12:25

Get rid of him. Your mum deserves better than a fat man shouting in her house.

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