"he fights like a girl"- To feel despair at engrained and pervasive sexism

[Evelight]

yesterday evening, I took DS (10) to his Taek won do class. I was reading a book. The Master's son, same age as mine, had broken his collarbone and couldn't practice, he came and sat next to me, and bored out of his mind, started chatting, what are you reading, what is it etc, a nice kid. At some point I asked him if he knew my DS and enjoyed fighting with him (sthg like that anyway). He answered yes, and added jokily "he sometimes fights like a girl."

I was surprised, because at that particular school, there are several female instructors, one of them a former national gold medallist who is amazing. They literally kick ass. I should have had the presence of mind to retort "well if he fights anything like Miss XX, it would be awesome!"- but of course I only thought of that later, as one does, and only smiled uncomfortably in the moment.

the point being- I witness kids (my kids included) come up all the time with all sorts of these (what I would have hoped are but obviously not) outdated pronouncements still rife with casual sexism (girls suck! boys are gross!) despite the best efforts of PC school programming and education. It's not getting better as they grow older either. Sometimes I argue, sometimes I don't. But really, when are we going to move on from this crap?

Flaming and Punt
Would be interested to know why you question where I work?

Where you work is being challenged because your description doesn't suit what the received wisdom says it must be like.

Mind you I got told once I had so much to learn about being a woman by someone assuming I was a man or a trans woman.

St. Botolph Street if that helps!

I caught my 12 year old son saying girls aren't as good at sports as boys.

He wishes he never uttered those words after he got a huge lecture from me then dh. I made him sit down and think about exactly what he was saying and dh told him some names of very talented female sports people (I only know Venus Williams as well!) and then he admitted the error of his ways

I hope that he never says anything like that again. I don't think it is trivial at all, I think it is harmful and I won't stand for sexism in my house so if I spot it I say something and thankfully my older teen son spots sexism in every day things and makes a stand against it, hopefully the others will follow in his footsteps when they get a bit older.

I am able to care about people dying all over the world and sexism, but i'm talented like that.

LassWi
Are you 'assuming' it must be different to what I am describing?
I work for a brokers with over 200 people employed there. Trust me, I know what I see everyday.

"Where you work is being challenged because your description doesn't suit what the received wisdom says it must be like."

No, that's not it. Unfortunately I can't specify the real reason as it'd get me deleted.

LassWi
Are you 'assuming' it must be different to what I am describing?
I work for a brokers with over 200 people employed there. Trust me, I know what I see everyday

No. Not me. I meant the posters who are challenging you are assuming that. What you describe doesn't meet the received wisdom of what it's meant to be like.

Puntastic
Very poor answer.
Try the subtle answer that will keep you here on MN

LassWi
What is it 'meant' to be like then? A load of pig headed men in suits putting 'women down'.
Not at all, if that is what they are all assuming

As for flying, lets be honest, men are heavier than women its a fact. - I don't think the point was her weight, actually. But that the airline assumed that a person with a title 'Dr' must be a man.

Yes puntastic that is a poor answer.

Very much I'll have my cake and eat it by implying Flat is lying but I will keep just within the guidelines so I don't get deleted.

I've obviously imagined all the sexual harassment I experienced growing up then.

Or my sister being assaulted by a MAN. Clearly she dreamed it.

Or the friend if my Dad who thought it was fine to order me and sister and my Mum to make him cups of tea when he visited but never my brothers.

Or my exe's family who didn't like me actually having a career and going back to work after my daughter was born.

Or my daughter being blanked by members if exe's family when my son was born.

Or the guy my ex worked with who told my ex he was 'sorry' when ex told him we'd had a girl not a boy. And comiserated that ex must have been 'disappointed' at not having a boy.

Or my ex raging at me for not putting on make up to greet him in the evenings. Or complaining that I wasn't a 'proper girlfriend' like his friends had because I didn't have his dinner on the table every evening.

How many more examples of everyday sexism did I imagine just because some people have been lucky enough not to experience them?

LassWi
What is it 'meant' to be like then? A load of pig headed men in suits putting 'women down'.
Not at all, if that is what they are all assuming

I think that is what is being got at. Same as the "women aren't taken seriously in meetings" post.

I was not implying that Flat is lying. No need to reply to me again, don't want to derail the debate any further.

An even poorer answer. Why not have the courage of your convictions?

LassWi
I dont know where you all work or live etc.
Working in London I have never come across sexism in the corporate world I work in. I have never heard any woman I Have ever worked with complain/talk about/report sexism in our workplace. And we work and socialise with a lot of men. Not only from our office but men from other companies too. That is our industry. Both sexes do mix in business and socialising.

Just going to ignore me then, Flat?

Couldn't care less where you work but I'd like you to address my points about the sexism I've encountered throughout my life.

Nah, I'm out.

Puntastic
At least explain yourself!

I agree with you Flat that has been my experience too but it does not suit the agenda of how terrible it is to be a woman in the work place.

Lilac
Give me a chance, im doing my womanly duty of tomorrows packed lunches
Well, you seem to have experienced some complete dinosaur pricks in your life. Just remember, the average man is not a complete arse like those you have described. Lets hope you never encounter people like that again.