"he fights like a girl"- To feel despair at engrained and pervasive sexism

[Evelight]

yesterday evening, I took DS (10) to his Taek won do class. I was reading a book. The Master's son, same age as mine, had broken his collarbone and couldn't practice, he came and sat next to me, and bored out of his mind, started chatting, what are you reading, what is it etc, a nice kid. At some point I asked him if he knew my DS and enjoyed fighting with him (sthg like that anyway). He answered yes, and added jokily "he sometimes fights like a girl."

I was surprised, because at that particular school, there are several female instructors, one of them a former national gold medallist who is amazing. They literally kick ass. I should have had the presence of mind to retort "well if he fights anything like Miss XX, it would be awesome!"- but of course I only thought of that later, as one does, and only smiled uncomfortably in the moment.

the point being- I witness kids (my kids included) come up all the time with all sorts of these (what I would have hoped are but obviously not) outdated pronouncements still rife with casual sexism (girls suck! boys are gross!) despite the best efforts of PC school programming and education. It's not getting better as they grow older either. Sometimes I argue, sometimes I don't. But really, when are we going to move on from this crap?

Flat
I think people who feel justified in making comments like yours are dangerous.
'Rammed down her throat by a feminist mother'! Nothing wrong with feminist mothers, or indeed fathers for that matter and it is perfectly natural for any 11 year old to notice bias whether it is racist/sexist or disabilist if they have been well educated.

yes what IS dangerous about raising girls and boys to think they are equal?

People like you are dangerous Flat. I sincerely hope you are just on the wind up.

I'm a feminist mother, ramming feminism down the throats of all of my children, a girl (14) and two boys (11 and 7) because I want my daughter to know she's equal to her brothers and her male peers (she has plans to go into medicine) and because I want my son's to respect women as their equals.

I can't see what would be dangerous about raising your children to be equals.

And my daughter has also been pointing out sexism and inequality in fiction, TV and music for awhile now.

Completely agree with you, OP. We live in an insidiously sexist society and something needs to change.

I remember a Katie Morag episode where some little boy challenged her to a race (which I think Katie won) and one of her friends said something like, if Katie wins you'll have to admit that girls can be as good as boys. No. if Katie wins then that girl is better than the boys. There's a huge difference - and this was presumably an attempt at non-sexism. Still makes me angry. #needs a life

I am 48 years old. Have worked in the corporate world of the city of london for 26 years and can honestly say I have never ever encountered anything that would offend me and make me feel i was surrounded by sexism. I have always been treated as equal. I know for a fact my salary is no lower than any male colleagues in my profession. I attend board meetings and I go to the pub/wine bars with my male colleagues. We are equal in what we do. I have never been put down in any way for being a woman. There are men and women in my company in high powered positions. Anyone with any insurance experience only has to walk into Lloyds of London and it is full if women in senior positions. Im just not getting all the fuss some of you are making. You are creating this big issue about sexism when in truth if you came out of your silly blinkered feminist worlds you would see its not like that at all.

You are creating this big issue about sexism when in truth if you came out of your silly blinkered feminist worlds you would see its not like that at all.

"If it doesn't happen to me, it doesn't happen at all"

Shame how many people base so much on their own "blinkered" perception of the world.

Oh lols Flat, good one.

good for you precious.

Flaming.
Your example is something that is not offensive. If someone found offence in that i would question their over sensitivity.

Not recognising sexism is not the same as sexism not existing.

Say for example you are righty and no one has every made their sexism obvious to you. That's not the majority of women's experiences.

Oh and I worked in a corporate environment, now own my own business that's very successful.

I still see sexism

I think now days women are very strong, they have careers, earn top salaries and can be whoever they want to be. And do whatever they like.
Going back a good few years women did stay at home doing the ironing and some poor cows had to 'know their place'. I think we have moved on massively from those days. I see equality everywhere. I dont have to ram it down my DS throat. Its 2016 not the 1950s. Times have changed for the better I think.

Katenka
What sexism do you see in your business world. Genuinely interested

...

That's not my experience of the corporate world. Times have changed for the better, but there's still a long way to go before we can say we have true equality and no sexism.

ThisHorse - what a silly example!
EBear - you are never going to get 50/50 in anything. I cannot think of an example of any sexism I have seen or come across to be honest.
Would like to hear any examples any of you have come across. I might be missing something here!

This sort of stuff is infuriating. Why does 'like a girl' have to mean being a bit on the pathetic side. It's right to challenge this sort of tripe. Yes it's 2016 and on a recent training course I was told to 'think like a bloke' on numerous occasions. The sexist prick of a tutor continually pestered me until I challenged his comments and noted them on the course feedback. I've a DS and it's my obligation to make sure he grows up knowing how to speak and treat women in an appropriate manner.

Flaming
Who on earth 'constantly' says reads like a boy.
That sounds like a one off silly comment made by someone. Its not something someone would 'constantly' say in everyday language.

There was another thread a few days ago, where the OP asked what would be seriously frowned upon in 40-50 years time (like overt racism in the seventies etc) and I was amazed that no one said insidious sexism. It still exists today and should be challenged every time. Flatonthehill, can you not see that racism on the TV was seen as harmless banter in the seventies and is now, thankfully, totally unacceptable?

Heather
What was his response when challenged?

Spotty
Of course on that previous thread no one mentioned sexism. Its not at all rife like it was years ago. Thats why!
Also you mentioning racism on tv in the 70s. That has nothing to do with this topic. There is no racism on tv now days so i cant see why that was mentioned.

No, I don't think it is silly.

My point is that I accept YOU have not experienced sexism. But that does not negate my experience. I have experienced sexism.

I haven't been racially discriminated against, but my experience doesn't qualify me to state that racism doesn't happen.

ThisHorse
What sexism did you experience out of interest?
Im not talking about racism by the way