To ask family to babysit while we go on holiday?

[greenkitee]

Just curious as to what others think. Me and my partner haven't been on holiday together, anywhere. Admittedly I got pregnant far too soon. We didn't get to enjoy the new experience of a couple etc we were forced together for our baby.

Anyway,i mentioned to my mum about taking my partner back to Ireland where I grew up, she said "I hope you're taking your baby" I said no, would have liked to have a holiday just us and she said "should have thought about that before having kids"

Has anybody gone on holiday without their child? Honeymoon obviously doesn't count, are we BU by wanting to go by ourselfs? It's much more expensive needing to take the pram etc not to mention actually buying a 3rd seat

It really isn't difficult to travel with a 2 year old, especially to somewhere that is half an hour flight away. There's nothing wrong in wanting a break away, just the 2 of you if someone is happy to look after your child. Doesn't sound like your mum would be though

it's not easy to keep him safe in other country's with all the horror stories of kids going missing

Surely you'll just look after him exactly the same as you do at home? [confusef]

Don't jump down people's throats when all they have done is answered your question.

You mentioned to your mum you wanted a child free holiday therefore someone has to mind the child. Your fil is paralysed it's a natural assumption that you wanted your mum to mind the child. Is there another family member who would take him?

My dd is nine I've never had a holiday without her. I don't have anyone who would mind her for an extended period and it is what it is. I just tailor holidays to suit her.

Why does she have to take you to legoland because she is taking your brother? You are coming across as very demanding which could explain your mothers response.

That was quite an odd comment from your DM - do you have form for expecting her to look after your child?

People travel with babies all the time, and I'm sure they have cots in hotels etc in Ireland if you ask - I'm sure if you ask on here plenty of people will be able to advise on the practicalities.

Bloody hell you sound really childish but yanbu about wanting a child free break.

Yeah there is MIL and SIL that would have him, I didn't see it from her point I didn't see that she could have thought I was asking her, but I was just making conversation to her

You dropped the hint, she made it clear she wasn't offering to have baby. Sounds like nobody's being unreasonable here.

eh? kids going missing?

where is the evidence?

as a toddler you will have your eye on him at all times right?

does your mum babysit now for you to have evenings out? why not start with an evening or so first?

I dont think a weekend away is asking for "babysitting" it's asking for full time care for two days or whatever.

taking a toddler to ireland is hardly a huge step from taking him somewhere in UK

'Where the f did I say I expected her to do it ffs? I said I mentioned about going to Ireland, literally MENTIONED it. She was the one to assume I was asking her there and then'

Well, you were expecting it.

It's not up to anyone but you to sort out any 'break' you want. Great if family offer but if not then you need to hire it in.

Op my sister has form for asking for a lot of bsbysitting. The last time she mentioned a holiday to me I also have the response your mother did. I was making my intention clear that i was not an option for bsbysitting.

Seeing as you have other family members happy I help your mums reaction doesn't matter does it.

Keeping your child safe will require the same amount of effort as when you are at home.

Sounds like you're annoyed your mum didn't offer to take your son when you went on holiday. Without background into your living circumstances and her role as a GM it's hard to understand where she is coming from though.
She might just be hard line and not believe parents need time away on their own.

but yeh if you have someone willing for sure take a break.

but if they not v willing i would be reluctant to leave my child with them for more than few hours.

So if you werent expecting Granny to step.in, who have you arranged childcare with? Or planning to?

If he's two, you can manage with a lightweight travel buggy, you don't need a pram.

No, I wasn't expecting her to help at all. I was just making conversation to her, she's good at finding hotels etc so all I was doing was mentioning the fact I would like to take him there
Mum has babysitted about twice.
In her view, because I've got a child he should be involved in everything I do now.
I didn't mean to come across childish about legoland but surely a toddler would appreciate legoland more than a 28 year old man, who complained the whole time he was there and my mum had to book early train home for them as he wanted it. I dunno I get the feeling my mum favours my brother over me

Yes, we've been away several times without the DC when they were very young, including a 10-day holiday to India (not a great place for very small kids), our 4-day honeymoon, and the occasional weekend.

They were looked after by a combination of a nanny and grandparents. We were very lucky to have supportive grandparents on both sides of the family and it's something I would never, ever take for granted.

We also travelled with them a lot too, and that's fine as well, you need to be fairly well organised but many european countries are very child friendly and happy for you to bring small children with you to restaurants, etc.

We took ds with us when he was little (Scotland -> Ireland and Cornwall/Devon mainly) and it was absolutely fine.

When we stayed in first floor lodges I had him in with us instead of in his own room, which is probably not the romantic break you are looking for!

If you have family who are capable and willing to take your ds then enjoy your holiday, if no one can/will take him then I'm afraid your mums right its what happens when you decide to have kids.

Yabu to expect family to take your child whilst you go on holiday. Your mum has already made that clear so don't ask her. I'm afraid once you have kids that's it you have to take them unless somebody offers to take them for a weekend. I have never asked but my mum has offered to takes our 3 times over 8 years for a night so we could attend weddings and basically have a weekend away.
I can understand your need though so maybe ask if anyone could take your baby for a night which is less of an ask?

We had the occasional overnight or weekend with the grandparents but that's it. I wouldn't ever have planned a 'real' holiday without the children.

BTW, our first was born 10 months after our marriage, so I don't think that's a 'reason' to have a child-free holiday. Wanting a child-free holiday is fine, but don't make it out as if it's something you 'deserve' because you had a baby on the heels of marriage.

We take our children every year to Ireland, have done for the last ten years, we have managed to bring them back safely every time

i dont think either of you are unreasonable.

I have my own house with DP and child, mum lives 2 minutes away. Not really a hands on granny, not sure I can even call her a granny. She doesn't show love toward me or my child but that's another thread

YANBU to ask, but will be if you expect any of them to.

YABU to think your child won't be safe in another country in Europe. Even elsewhere. Unless you are planning on leaving your child unattended for long periods.

About Legoland, I'm surprised anyone except a child would be disappointed not to go or be invited.
If you wanted to go, surely you could arrange it yourself.