to think "neighbour" has assaulted my child

[BubbleBathAddict]

Basically my 11 year old son was in a group of school friends yesterday after school. On the way home from the park they played "knock down ginger" -ie they knocked on a couple of front doors quite near us and ran away. Now this is not something I was aware of or would condone, but on the scale of "crime" it's not something to get too excited about.

My son said he did not do the knocking and stayed on the pavement.
At the second house the woman came out and yelled. The boys ran. All of them more quickly than my son it seems. Half way home (a few houses only) he felt someone grab his wrist and the said woman insisted he tell her where he live and frog-marched him home. He was in tears. I was at work, but his dad and older brother were in.

I do not know the woman at all. She apparently said her children were scared. I am pretty furious that she thought it was OK to grab and intimidate a child. That might have been appropriate 40 years ago, but these days touching anyone without consent is battery isn't it?

I don't want to over-react, but will be going over there today. What would you do?

Why ask if you are being unreasonable if you don't like being told that actually yes yabu?

I doubt that the knockee's children were scared.

How on earth do you know that? My best friend's son 14year old son is autistic and had a full on meltdown when their house was recently targeted by kids doing this. He wouldn't sleep for days. Your comment that the kids probably weren't scared is absolutely ridiculous.

Thank you for clarifying that SparklingBrook. I can't imagine I bother to post anything again. I need to spend every second of my spare time attempting to tame my "little shit". Nice.

As someone who had to put up with estate kids playing knock and run you are being so U.

Here it got to the point that they would do it from when they got in from school till around 8 at night. If i ignored the door they carried on regardless.

You have no idea how many times your precious DS has done this on the way home from school. Teenagers don't lie?

As for him being the only one on the pavement and then the only one caught i doubt it very very much.

Stop taking offence and see that her 'grabbing him by the wrist and marching him home' is most likely an exaggeration of a teenager pissed off at being caught and wanting to get himself out of trouble. How would you feel if this wholey innocent according to you prank were played on you for the teenagers own entertainment?

As for assualt. That really did make me laugh

I doubt that the knockee's children were scared How can you possibly know that tickory2? It would have caused my children to be scared when they were smaller.

Even if it is wasn't scary, it's bloody annoying!

Your son needs reprimanding for his actions, disgusting behaviour. She has done nothing wrong and let's hope she calls the Police now she ones where he lives and reports him and his friends for intimidating her. Maybe a"chat" with the Police will be highly beneficial seeing as your minimising his actions so much.

Just go and have a OP. This thread is just making you cross.

Morning all. Could we have a bit of peace and love here, please? Bit early on a Saturday morning for a bunfight!

I can't imagine I bother to post anything again. I need to spend every second of my spare time attempting to tame my "little shit". Nice.

And your shitty attitude when rightly criticised.
We're all wrong sonetimes, especially when it comes to our children. But your attitude when having this fairly unequivocally pointed out speaks volumes.

Quite right Iona. But this makes me so bloody mad.

Assault and battery!???

I'm off for a bagel.

Nope he deserved it OP. We had kids throw rocks and snowballs at my windows, I went out screaming and DP followed them in the car. They never came back.

People should be allowed to live in peace.

Yes OP take a break from the thread, have a cup of tea and reflect. Take your son to apologise when you're feeling a bit more calm.

Hopefully OP, your son won't do this again!
He needs a parent to tell him he's wrong though and to take the consequences of his actions.
A parent did. It just wasn't you.

For what it's worth, I'd be pretty pissed off if someone frogmarched either of my children home but I'd be even more pissed off that my kids had annoyed someone else to the extent that it was needed.

Bubblebathaddict, if you take one persons advice from this then please take Mrs deveres. She is spot on. That is all the advice you need.

OP- I am sorry that your husband is unwell, and I appreciate things must be extremely difficult for you at the moment.

I think it's highly likely that you are directing your frustration and guilt at not being able to do the job of two parents at once at this woman over a fairly standard naughty kid incident.

Op you are being very sarcastic and defensive. Which seems to me, that you know your son was in the wrong.

You can make snide comments about other people's kids and why we have time to post but my teen is off doing a first aid course, dp is faffing with the camper van and dd 2 who is a year younger than your son, is not rampaging round the neighbourhood annoying people.

Take him to apologise and thank the lady for bringing his actions to your attention. Tell him it's wrong, tell him not to do it again.

Iona, maybe MNHQ should rethink the wisdom of having the AIBU board if they wish to avoid bunfights. This board must be your highest traffic page, surely? Certain there's lots of hand-rubbing glee behind the scenes when there's a thread like this.

OP is clearly totally in the right and will not be told otherwise. It's the false correlation again, isn't it? "Because of X, I should be entitled to do Y", when X and Y bear no relation to each other. In this case, "Because my H is ill and I am stressed, my son is entitled to harass other people with no consequences", even though this innocent woman knows nothing about your personal circumstances and is entitled to enjoy her home without preteen harassment.

Carry on, OP. I'm sure your son's behaviour will definitely only get better. (And if you believe he was only an innocent bystander... Well. Ostrich, much?)

It is battery under the law. Whether it would be considered in the public interest to take action is separate but it is assault and because there was contact it is classed as battery.

Touching without consent is illegal. When you are walking down the street/in busy places you consent to a certain level of incidental contact by being there.

Yes, OP's DS was not acting brilliantly but that does not give an adult the right to take hold of him. It is different from the other scenario given as taking a child by the scruff of the neck to stop them hurting another is defence of another.

Took him by the wrist home. Gezz I thought you were going to say she'd given him a slap for it. Its hard not to judge and wonder what sort of adults these DC will make when parents think a neighbour reprimanding a child by taking him home is assault. If it was my DC I would want him marching home, I'd like to know if he was being a nuisance. Then I can issue a punishment and of course I would make him face up to it and apologise, as well as ring the parents of the other brats who thought it was OK to do this.
What punishment have you issued your son?