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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think "neighbour" has assaulted my child

719 replies

BubbleBathAddict · 06/02/2016 08:17

Basically my 11 year old son was in a group of school friends yesterday after school. On the way home from the park they played "knock down ginger" -ie they knocked on a couple of front doors quite near us and ran away. Now this is not something I was aware of or would condone, but on the scale of "crime" it's not something to get too excited about.

My son said he did not do the knocking and stayed on the pavement.
At the second house the woman came out and yelled. The boys ran. All of them more quickly than my son it seems. Half way home (a few houses only) he felt someone grab his wrist and the said woman insisted he tell her where he live and frog-marched him home. He was in tears. I was at work, but his dad and older brother were in.

I do not know the woman at all. She apparently said her children were scared. I am pretty furious that she thought it was OK to grab and intimidate a child. That might have been appropriate 40 years ago, but these days touching anyone without consent is battery isn't it?

I don't want to over-react, but will be going over there today. What would you do?

OP posts:
MissFlight · 06/02/2016 17:17

I thought knock down ginger was a thing of the past.

MsJamieFraser · 06/02/2016 17:19

Do you? I don't have a crystal ball? do you know they have reported it, against this child or his group of friends, and was this child present in the first reported incident?

we can go through all scenarios, of ifs and buts, I was only giving the law on harassment... not all scenarios Hmm

For this to be defined as harassment the individual or group has to have done the an act that is described as harassment more then twice.

fastdaytears · 06/02/2016 17:19

Yes this is assault, this woman lay her hand a child and physical restrained him, that is assault by law, whether you agree or not!

Err not. What on earth does reatraint have to do with assault. The case you quoted was assault because there was an immediate fear and expectation of harm. Nothing to suggest that forcibly taking a child home lead him to believe that he'd be harmed.

fastdaytears · 06/02/2016 17:20

I was only giving the law on harassment

Well not very well as you say it's a civil issue

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/02/2016 17:20

This is hilarious!

MsJamieFraser · 06/02/2016 17:22

IamPissed you are incorrect, you can bring any internet link to this site, I can bring one that shows other wise also.

For it to be classed as harassment it needs to be reported twice, if you think an individual or group is harassing you, its why they ask you to keep a log after the first occasion.

TSSDNCOP · 06/02/2016 17:23

He should consider that if he gets caught that easily a life of aggravating other people is not for him.

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 06/02/2016 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kryptonite · 06/02/2016 17:26

Oh, give over. Taking your child's wrist and bringing back home isn't assault.
I have a similar age DS who likes to play out near us. If he'd been banging on doors and running away I'd rather know about it!
OK, I might not like the fact that they had hold of him, but the fact that I'd be mortified that he was being such a little git in the first place would take precedence!
I'd be profusely sorry and making him apologise too.
Not to mention grounding him from playing out for a while too.
I bang on about consequences sometimes to him when he plays up. Such as taking away the PS3 when rude.
Yours is a prime example of a consequence if I ever heard one.
Bang on people's doors, expect the consequences! If you don't want getting into trouble, don't do it in the first bloody place.

SoupDragon · 06/02/2016 17:27

wasn't the OPs DS terribly unlucky to have been caught on the first/only time they were doing this.

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 06/02/2016 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fastdaytears · 06/02/2016 17:28

I know SoupDragon what are the chances?

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 06/02/2016 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

findingmyfeet12 · 06/02/2016 17:29

My brother and his friends once kicked a ball around in the street and when it went into our elderly neighbor's drive she came out and shook her fist at them. His friend shouted something cheeky at her.

The old lady told my mom that my brother had been involved. He was a very polite boy who wouldn't say boo to a goose. My mom marched him straight round to apologise and teach him a lesson that when you're in a group, you become implicated. The old lady was so touched that she cried.

You should be grateful to that lady - she did your job for you.

MsJamieFraser · 06/02/2016 17:32

Harassment is both a criminal offence and a civil action under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.

A poster asked me if I would have called the police, I said no as this is a civil matter, not criminal.

This means that someone can be prosecuted in the criminal courts if they harass you. It also means you can take action against the person in the civil courts.

How does one prove it has happened twice, if it is not reported, it then all just boils down to hearsay!

Terribleknitter · 06/02/2016 17:32

I still remember the bollocking I got the last time we played this!
Well deserved too - we woke up a rather irate bloke on nights Blush
Maybe he'll grow some sense from this experience and stop getting involved in childish crap like that!

fastdaytears · 06/02/2016 17:33

This means that someone can be prosecuted in the criminal courts if they harass you. It also means you can take action against the person in the civil courts.

I do know what that means, thanks, but that's not what you said and who in their right mind would choose to spend a fortune on a civil case rather than just ringing the police?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/02/2016 17:34

happy

I always thought it was touching without lawful excuse.

One could reasonably argue that taking the arm of an unsupervised 11yo who was behaving in an antisocial manor and removing him to a place of safety could be considered a lawful excuse and a safeguarding exercise

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 06/02/2016 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 06/02/2016 17:36

How does one prove it didn't MsThingy?

It's all very Shrodinger isn't it?

Did anyone hear that tree fall?

Tell you what though, my missing socks are turning up all over the place today. Which is lovely. Obviously.

tomatodizzy · 06/02/2016 17:36

Err not. What on earth does reatraint have to do with assault. The case you quoted was assault because there was an immediate fear and expectation of harm. Nothing to suggest that forcibly taking a child home lead him to believe that he'd be harmed.

I believe this is exactly what is meant by the mens rea. It can only be assault if the person carrying out the assault has mens rea "a guilty mind" in the case of assault the direct intention of the person committing the crime has to be to cause physical harm. What the woman actually committed was battery not assault. So I don't deny she committed it, but then we can also admit that an 11 year old (or according to him, his friends) committed a crime that is actually officially, according wikipedia, punishable by up to 14 days in prison. BUT talking about either as a crime is silly. Common sense says mountain out of a flippin mole hill. Lesson learned, move on.

fastdaytears · 06/02/2016 17:38

I always thought it was touching without lawful excuse

Not in the UK. I think it might be in the US. Here it's all about the threat of harm, which there was none of in this case.

MsJamieFraser · 06/02/2016 17:39

Mine must be all wrong now as well Hmm I am in the process of this right now, for me to take this to court I had to have two police reported incidents. Currently I am going through civil to get an injunction , before the criminal first hearing.

fastdaytears · 06/02/2016 17:40

Battery has a mens rea element too so the whole thing is nonsense. The neighbour did the OP a favour.

NoShitSherlockyClones · 06/02/2016 17:46

OP your son was in tears because he was caught
You were going to see her to have a go at her , let's not pretend
You have acted like an idiot on this thread