To not feel sorry for this man begging for money on the road

[bellaSorela]

by the great Cambridge road and saw a man with a sign saying:
"I have no food or money, I have 2 children, I don't speak any English, please help me"

He was looking at us as we were the nearest car to him, my friend wanted to give him money and i said NO don't give him anything and she wanted me to give him the money as i was the driver and the man was on my side but i said no and drove off.
She thinks i was harsh for this but all i was thinking is, if you don't speak English and have no money, how and why are you here?

Do you think i'm wrong for this?

I'm the same with beggers in general, I use to give money but you give money to one the rest will come, like at my local shopping park which junkies have over taken, knocking on peoples windows for money when you are waiting to leave the car park because people are always giving them money now they harass everyone.

maybe i am harsh?

Bella I don't know if you realise how fragile can be life

sorry but if cant speak english you have no job why are you here .sorry but don,t we have enough homelessness with people born in this country without others coming in .

Oh my good God - how can you DARE to criticise someone else's English with that shite?

Jesus.

I used to work with a man who was very involved with a homeless charity in his spare time. He was quite the philanthropic type, gave monthly blood donations too. He used to say to give to organisations that would get people off the street, not directly to someone on the street. It may go on food but likely many other things like substance abuse, which is why lots of people are on the street to begin with. I know that mental health system can fail people too. However, otherwise, there is a welfare system in most countries in Western Europe now. It is not like victorian beggars who had nothing else to fall back on. I don't understand why people would need to beg for money for food.

I also remember when I lived in the country travelling to a small town where there were quite a few people begging. It was in the paper how they were being driven by minivan and dropped off to go begging. It was an organised begging operation.

I was also the victim of scam with people begging. One lady approached with a blanket/shawl type thing. Under the blanket, she dipped into my pocket and took my purse. It was many moons ago and I was young and wasn't as careful as I am now.

I do still sometimes drop a coin into someone's hat, but I just hope it is not just going to be pissed away on booze or drugs.

I'm with OP on this. For years I have faced this on a daily basis. Many days it would take me saying no so many times as I was approached by people stepping in my path on the way to the train then again on the train. It does harden you, it does make you wary and it does give you great dilemmas as you try to give what you can regularly to the various charities not just those for the homeless.

I visited a homeless drop in centre in London the other day. The work they do there is fantastic.
They give free lunches to 100 homeless people every week day.
They offer advice on benefits, healthcare and how to get off the street.
They have showers and washing machines.
Offer computer classes and access to computers, many use these to contact loved ones.
They run art classes and hold group therapy sessions.
They do all this with the help of some volunteers, paid staff and lots of donations. No government money. I asked how much it cost to run, they provide this fantastic service for not much more than £300k a year.

Every homeless charity I have spoken to says not to give money to the homeless, it only fuels the drug problems. Give them food and drinks or give money to a charity that can help them.

If I was on the street I'd want some drugs as well, I always give beggars money, I don't care what they spend it on. If you find yourself that low you deserve it.

Indeed.

How dare we look down on people who are living on the street and decide that we know better than they do what's best for them. How fucking patronising.

I might go and hang around some off licenses tomorrow and stop affluent people from buying more than one bottle of wine. Or maybe I'll go to Greggs and stop fat people buying cakes and give them Weight Watchers vouchers instead. Only trying to help.

Also, the assumptions that homeless people are all on drugs or drink.

OP is clearly a GF but those who say they'd buy a homeless person something to eat but never give them money because they might spend it on drink or drugs are almost as bad. If someone is at rock bottom and sleeping on the streets in the middle of winter then I don't really care if they spend the money on some booze. If it helps numb their pain for a few hours then so be it. Who are we to judge?

Great post lilac

This is from the link posted earlier from a homeless support charity website:

Overwhelming evidence shows that people who beg on the streets of England do so in order to buy hard drugs, particularly crack cocaine and heroin, and super-strength alcoholic beers and ciders. These highly addictive drugs cause an extreme deterioration in people’s health and even death.

This evidence comes from a number of sources. Firstly Thames Reach’s outreach teams including its London Street Rescue service who are out and about on the streets of the capital working with London’s homeless 365 days of the year. They estimate that 80 per cent of people begging do so to support a drug habit.

Secondly, when the Metropolitan Police did some drug testing of people arrested for begging, the figures indicated that between 70 and 80 per cent tested positive for Class A drugs.

Most recently, in a police crackdown in Birmingham on begging in autumn 2013, every single one of the 40 people arrested failed a drug test.

The evidence that the overwhelming majority of people begging on the streets of England spend their begging money on crack cocaine and heroin is indisputable.

And calla, didn't see yours there!

Let's assume for a moment that op is right and the man wasn't homeless.

If you are a refugee, and make it to the uk are you housed in a home, or a hostel?

Are you given any help to understand how to open a British bank account?
Can you even open one without utility bills etc? If not, how can any benefits or payments be paid to you?

I would very much like to know what happens to them when they get here, especially of they speak little or no English. Most LA properties in my area have prepayment meters. Do they have access to cash for these?

If not I can easily see why you might resort to begging until things got straightened out financially.

I'm with lilac all the way.

And in my student days I'd give the homeless guys the odd can of lager and a fag. It's fucking freezing on the streets. Alcohol makes you feel less cold. And before everyone comes along telling me I'm fuelling their alcoholism or whatever, I very much doubt that my solitary can of lager was the reason they weren't sober.

I do give to homeless charities but I also sometimes (I live in a small rural village so not much opportunity) give directly to people on the streets because sometimes they look cold and upset and fucking miserable and if I give them a quid and they spend it on weed then they can crack on as far as I'm concerned.

Calla I agree with you to an extent. I pass homeless people on my way in and out of work each day. I used to give them a couple of quid, thinking that I would only spend it on wine anyway so what did it matter. I see the same people each day, some I stop and chat to and I always say hello.

From making the effort to find out a little more, talking to and visiting charities that support the homeless, I now do not give them money. It can make the situation worse, maybe not, but it is not going to make it better. I would rather support one of the groups who are out and about on the street helping them.

Brilliant post cat I have just one sentence which is
There but for the grace of God go I

Yeah you're wrong op. Because your friend wanted to give him the money, she didn't ask you to. All you had to do was hold your sweaty little hand over and hand him the cash. But no, you decided to drive off instead and post about it on an internet forum.

You're not a very nice person really are you.

I think there are many people in this world (including me) that have a safety net of parents, siblings, And even mil that would never see them or their family go hungry or without a roof over their heads.

I've been here long enough to understand there are also many people who don't have that safety net, because of bereavement, abuse, divorce and a host of other reasons.

People who genuinely don't have anyone to lend them a few quid or a bag of shopping. That's why food banks are doing such a roaring trade since the last election.

Stick around OP, you might broaden your horizons.

I give them some money. Maybe some of that goes on drugs, but it's a certainty that some of it goes on hot pasties and hot coffee from the Greggs. I'm not surprised in this weather. I also buy them , easy to peel fruit, and fruit juice.

It's a fair concern about the cocaine, so if you can afford it, substitute food. You could even ask them what they would like, first.

Make your own decisions, but don't try to control your friend.

I would actually rather that people addicted to hard drugs obtained money for their addition by asking for it.

Not having the money doesn't cure the addiction. It just means they end up finding other ways ie stealing it. It also puts them in more danger of retribution.

I don't have the hard statistics, but I suspect that not being able to afford it is a long way down the list of reasons why people with long term addictions seek to break their addiction.

Why are people concerned with money being spent on drink or drugs? Seriously they are on the street, the drink /drugs take the pain away for a while, take the cold away, allows them sleep and allows them a bit of respite from their situation.
Yes many are caused by their addictions but also they shouldn't just stop.
I do some work with rough sleepers and what they deal with its beyond comprehension unless you've been there yourself.

They are going to get the drink /drugs anyway so you giving them money makes no difference.

I'm with the OP on this one. She's the one driving, she's the one in charge of whether the car stops or not to give money.
Also, how do you KNOW that they have no food or money, 2 children, and don't speak any English?!
You're only going by what it says on a sign.
If you truly want to help, go to charities such as Shelter etc where you know you'll be making a difference.
Not just lining someone's pocket with drug money. (NOT saying that's what was at work here, but it's certainly a scenario that's possible.)

I'm with the OP on this one. She's the one driving, she's the one in charge of whether the car stops or not to give money.

Oh well, its nice to be in control isn't it

How about creating a "secure hostel" in every town?

Anybody found begging should (say) be given one warning but should, if they persist, be arrested and taken to the secure hostel.

At the secure hostel they should be offered food, drink, medical care, social support, advice, a bed for the night, etc, etc. Alcohol & drugs would be banned; and any cash (e.g. social benefits) be confiscated to pay for their keep.

If they are cooperative then they would be given freedom to come & go as they please; but if they were disruptive then they would be detained & controlled as if they were in prison (until their behaviour improved).

They would be released when alternative accommodation was found; including if they went to stay with relatives or friends.