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Original poster

To have said something re. shoplifter...

213 replies

escapedfrommordor · 03/02/2016 16:43

This has been playing on my mind since this morning.
I was doing the food shop and I saw a lady in the baby aisle. You know when you radar sort of goes off? Her behaviour just seemed "off" and I saw her pick up a bunch of baby food pouches and walk off to the next aisle. Straight after that I saw her walk between two tills and out of the exit. She didn't have any bags or anything and there were no other tills open.
I said to the lady on the till "Sorry I think that lady has just left with a load of baby food and not paid..." and she just kinda shrugged it off! She said "Oh I'll remember her face for next time."
I went back to my shopping and then paid at the till the member of staff was on and we chatted about it. She seemed to be of the opinion she must be desperate if she's stealing baby food and that it was sad.
Would you have said something or assume she was in dire need and ignored it? Wondering if I'm just a bit heartless..

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/02/2016 14:08

Fine - nobody says you have to report someone but some people would in that situation, I'm one of them, and I'm not actually bothered how that makes me sound. I don't feel any level of compassion for someone who does that, and it would be hypocritical to pretend otherwise.

PagesOfABook · 04/02/2016 14:12

She could have changed her mind and put them down in a different shelf before she left

If the person in the store accused heron front of other people of stealing they will be leaving the elves open to a defamation claim

I would not have said anything if I were you as you don't know for sure that she walked out with the items on her

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/02/2016 14:17

Isn't that for the staff to ascertain?

MrsSparkles · 04/02/2016 15:03

Surely its for the courts or police to acertain mitigating circumstances, and they do. It's easy to have lots of compassion when its not your money.

Imagine say 10 people a day coming up to you and putting your hand in your purse to take out say £2 (without asking). You then catch them and ask what they are doing, they say they can't afford to feed their children so you let them take it - would this be acceptable, how about if it was 50 people? We donate to foodbanks etc, but that is a choice I make. Stealing takes that choice away from me.

kali110 · 04/02/2016 15:29

Well it would affect you if you worked for telco and they were stealing from there....
Learn something new everyday.
It's ok to steal as long as it's from big supermarkets as the people who work there don't matter.... Could then be them stealing in a few months time!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/02/2016 15:37

Totally agree with MrsSparkles and kali

In fact it's probably okay to steal from small shops as well because it's to feed their habits kids so their needs obviously trump the rights of anyone else.

ZiggyFartdust · 04/02/2016 16:32

Nobody said its ok. Just that there are varying degrees of not ok.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/02/2016 16:47

I just don't think having a baby is an excuse and that if they do it, they take the risk that they will be arrested, eventually have a criminal record, maybe find themselves involved with social services etc. They choose to risk it then they have to accept that all of these could be a consequence. And if they do get caught, not everyone will be sympathetic; plenty of people will totally agree that they deserve everything they get.

And I wouldn't lift a finger to help them.

Timri · 04/02/2016 17:07

Formula is kept behind the counter with the cigs round my way... Number 1 stolen item

ZiggyFartdust · 04/02/2016 17:12

Having a baby isn't an excuse. Having a baby you literally can't give food to is certainly a reason though.
Must be nice to see the world in black and white. Relaxing, in that you don't have to think for yourself.

51howdidthathappen · 04/02/2016 17:32

Do some people never question anything? Just do what they are told. There could be many reasons why someone steals, could be they are homeless and been moved along from a begging spot, to kept up the facade of a decent society.

BifsWif · 04/02/2016 18:17

I wouldn't have reported. Especially if it was the pouches of food rather than the tubs of formula.

If I was on the bones of my arse and had literally no other choice but to either steal or watch my baby cry with hunger, guess what I'd do?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/02/2016 18:36

And that's fine - you are free to make that choice. Doesn't mean that you would get away with it though.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/02/2016 18:39

And you are assuming she's on the bones of her arse - she could be a drug addict, irresponsible or just an entitled person who doesn't feel she needs to follow the rest of society's rules because she will get away with it if she encounters any of the 'compassionate' people.

Most people aren't worthy of the benefit of the doubt.

BifsWif · 04/02/2016 18:40

Well as it's hypothetical, I'm quite confident i wouldn't be caught.

Seriously though, it's a risk I'd be willing to take if I had no other way of feeding my child. Wouldn't most parents do the same?

OutWithTheDogs · 04/02/2016 18:41

I wouldn't assume anything about the shoplifter one way or another but I'd report it?

BifsWif · 04/02/2016 18:41

Really? Do you always see the worst in people? What a sad way to live. I'd rather be naive than cold hearted.

BifsWif · 04/02/2016 18:42

And where did you come up with 'most' people aren't worthy of the benefit of the doubt?

Sweeping statement with nothing at all to back it up.

OutWithTheDogs · 04/02/2016 18:47

I don't see the worst in people and I'm certainly not cold hearted. Hmm What a rude thing to assume. I volunteer a day a week and have done for decades, I also give to charities.

I can't make a judgement call one way or another about someone shoplifting. That's up to the company who is having their stuff stolen.

OutWithTheDogs · 04/02/2016 18:48

Ohh, I think there was some cross posting ....

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/02/2016 18:49

If you are happy for people to take the piss, then by all means give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm not naive enough to do that.

I would put myself out for people that genuinely need help but I have known people who steal out of a sense of entitlement and a woman 'stealing to feed her child' may just be doing it because she can.

It's a snapshot of someone's life but I prefer not to assume that everyone is basically decent - it's going to be a hell of a shock when you are wrong.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/02/2016 18:50

OutWith I think I'm the cold hearted one Grin

greenkitee · 04/02/2016 18:51

I wouldn't have said anything to the staff, I've been the whistle blower before and got sacked for it. It was another member of staff stealing but I was the one jobless for whistle blowing Hmm

BifsWif · 04/02/2016 18:53

And she may not be doing it just because she can, she may genuinely have no other way to feed her child today. How do you tell if someone genuinely needs help? That is an honest question - how do you decide who is deserving of your help without knowing every detail of their lives? Or do you just solve that problem by helping nobody at all 'just in case'?

I've got to a good ol' age without being badly shocked, so I'm not too worried.

ShelaghTurner · 04/02/2016 19:03

I told a security guard about the family who were walking round Tesco eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts and discarding the wrappers and he couldn't have given less of a toss.

Woman with baby food, I would have assumed she had good reason and carried on with my shopping. Better to assume that they're someone who needs it than a hardened criminal selling off Ella's Kitchen pouches for drugs Wink

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