To have said something re. shoplifter...

[escapedfrommordor]

This has been playing on my mind since this morning.
I was doing the food shop and I saw a lady in the baby aisle. You know when you radar sort of goes off? Her behaviour just seemed "off" and I saw her pick up a bunch of baby food pouches and walk off to the next aisle. Straight after that I saw her walk between two tills and out of the exit. She didn't have any bags or anything and there were no other tills open.
I said to the lady on the till "Sorry I think that lady has just left with a load of baby food and not paid..." and she just kinda shrugged it off! She said "Oh I'll remember her face for next time."
I went back to my shopping and then paid at the till the member of staff was on and we chatted about it. She seemed to be of the opinion she must be desperate if she's stealing baby food and that it was sad.
Would you have said something or assume she was in dire need and ignored it? Wondering if I'm just a bit heartless..

If you didn't actually see her then yabu, she may well have just dumped them on another shelf.

Having worked in a small convenience store for not much more than minimum wage, I never would've challenged shoplifters. We weren't a big store with security guards, mostly it was just three of us there in the evening, often all young women. In the daytime we would get the manager but evenings just let it go. They were known local troublemakers, we weren't paid nearly enough to piss them off!

And if she genuinely can't afford to feed her child then that's sad but it doesn't make her beyond the law.

Foul comments. I've officially lost my faith in humanity.

Foul comments. I've officially lost my faith in humanity.

This.

I am normally very strict - stealing is stealing etc but in this case its baby food (not expensive cosmetics) so I think this might be a bit different.

However we were burgled a few years ago. Kids with nothing better to do (and we are not in a area of high unemployment). They beat up the dog. One of the Mothers claimed her son had been with her during the break in. I think they are low life scum bags and that Mother should hang her head in shame.

Of course I will expect some people to claim she was a single mother, the boys weren't 'supported' at school. They had no where to take out their frustrations. So, consequently we should give them another chance. It wasn't their fault etc etc.

IT WAS 100% THEIR FAULT ALONG WITH THEIR MOTHER WHO BROUGHT UP THEIR SON TO BEHAVE IN THAT WAY.

If she had no bags where did she put them? Baby pouches aren't that small. She probably just dumped them on the next shelf - I do that all the time!

Even if she was stealing them to sell on, I'd still not say anything. I'm there to do my shopping...The store isn't paying me to be their security guard. It's their job to monitor their stores, not mine.

Our very well known posh food store has a door at the front and a car park and another door at the back. One of the sales assistants when she first started working there told me she saw a couple of young men fill their trolley with all the expensive stuff and then literally charge out of the back door into a waiting car.

She ran after them and they pulled a knife. Now she just lets it happen. And these thieves know this...

There are people in this country that are living in terrible poverty and others that find it too uncomfortable to acknowledge it. It is brushed aside using stereotypes such as 'she's on drugs/ an alcoholic, food banks will help.

Where I live, a food bank can be visited only twice a year and only when an appointment is granted. Many poor people are in a mess with 'pay day' loans that will take bank details, charge staggering interest and take any benefits awarded as soon as its in the bank. Unfortunately, there are many desperate people borrowing money this way and struggling to put food on the table.

I'm not taking the side of shoplifters, but surely this lady deserves some compassion.

The store isn't paying me to be their security guard.

Playing devil's advocate here, but do we not need to have some sort of civic duty? Where do you draw the line? If you see a child being abused then surely you would report it, rather than turn a blind eye? Theft from smaller shops is a reason that they have to close down. I wouldn't put them on the same scale; but there are both social harms.

I've seen someone stealing razor blades, and reported to a member of staff, who promptly confronted the man and he dumped the blades, walking out empty handed.

I've also seen a man stealing baby formula - and I didn't report him, as it's baby milk, that's not something you can go without - and yes, perhaps he's pissed away or smoked away his family money, but it would still be a baby suffering for their parent's fucked up finances, not the parent.

I wouldn't have reported her.

She stole - plain and simple.

Life is rarely that black and white.

Actually I would imagine that stealing baby food is a classic diversion tactic. If you steal something like a jar of baby food then people will more likely take pity on you and thus will fail to notice the several bottles of wine/clothes etc you have under your pushchair.

It's a well known fact that most shop lifters of e.g. Clothes etc are women, and that using a baby in a pushchair to conceal stolen goods is a well known tactic.

She's probably the person on my local selling site selling it for £2 a jar

Whether she's stealing to sell on the goods or stealing because she can't be arsed to pay or won't pay or couldn't afford to because she has to pay for her cigarettes or wine or drugs or whether she is just having a hard time, there aren't degrees of stealing. Stealing is stealing. If she gets caught she is still guilty.

The fuck? MASSIVE assumptions made there!

Playing devil's advocate here, but do we not need to have some sort of civic duty?

I would say I had a civic duty to report a person being abused/attacked...and I would absolutely intervene and/or report it.

As for someone shoplifting from a large supermarket then no, I don't have a duty to report it or intervene in order to protect their profit margins. Sod that.

No I would not have said anything. Yes stealing is stealing but I wouldn't want to be the one who got a mum arrested and taken away from her baby.

If she is stealing it because she's desperate then yes, that is horrifically sad.

But being desperate does not give someone carte blanche to break the law. It does not mean I should shrug and turn the other cheek if that desperate mother later pick pockets my purse or breaks into my house and rifles through my jewellery (not that I have anything worth stealing mind, but still). Theft is theft, no matter the perpetrator, the scale, the intention, or the victim.

If she had been stopped by the authorities then she might have been referred to the right people and got the help she needs to get back on her feet.

We have a benefits system in the UK and there are food banks readily available to people who fall on hard times (to which I regularly donate, BTW, before anyone accuses me of being a cold-hearted so-and-so).

Stealing is stealing, and I would have mentioned it to a member of staff. Stealing just adds to the price of goods for the rest of us, including those people who struggle to afford their grocery bills, but go about it honestly.

Some posters are assuming she's stealing for her baby - massive assumption. We don't know that, do we? To my knowledge, the only babies who starve in the UK are those who have been mistreated by miscreant parents (Daniel Pelke, et al). Children don't starve in this country as a general rule, I don't think?

I used to be a food retail manager and tbh I used to turn a blind eye to the young mum's taking small essential stuff, like a bottle of milk
Hopefully this will make me unemployable in the future, in food retail

Isn't baby food one of the most targeted foods for theft within shops?

Agree with Lockheart - she needs the right help from the right people. Otherwise it is a self-perpetuating problem which will never end.

You all make me laugh with your authorities posts. I've had the counter jumped, been attacked, had staff attacked. Police often don't treat it as an emergency and don't turn up for days! Even if you are successful enough to get enough evidence for the shoplifter to be prosecuted, they usually just have to pay back the cost of the goods stolen.

Old men in wax jackets are the worst for stealing as well btw, not young mums

If she was caught, it is highly likely that she would be treated compassionately in the eyes of the law and her circumstances would be taken into account. At most, she would get a police caution and/ or be barred from the store.

I'm amazed and saddened how harshly judgemental and unsympathetic some posters on here are being.

Peggy, cheese, meat and alcohol generally