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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be having a bit of a sense of humour failure over this?

330 replies

Ellybellyboo · 31/01/2016 11:11

Sorry, this might be a bit long winded

I like 'creative' stuff - sewing, drawing, photography, etc - general art-ery fart-ery. The attic of our house had been converted to a huge room when we moved here so I use it as a kind of studio.

A few weeks ago I had a big birthday and DH arranged a surprise birthday party. I had been really clear that I absolutely did not want a party, I'm quite introverted and just didn't want a big hoo-ha.

He arranged one anyway. I was a bit miffed but grinned and bared it, and actually had an OK night.

In the weeks since, I've discovered that some of our friends had been up in my studio and played some oh so hilarious practical jokes. There was absolutely no need for them to go up there, there's no toilet or anything up there and the door at the bottom of the stairs was shut.

Nothing has been broken or damaged, but silly stuff like a cock and balls drawn onto every page of a sketch book, a huge quilt I've been making and had pinned out ready to be quilted has had all the pins removed, all my drawers and storage had been rearranged.

A couple of years ago I saved up and bought myself a DSLR camera. It wasn't cheap so I'm a bit precious about it. Yesterday we went out for a day out so thought I'd take my camera. Turned it on to find about a million photos of bare arses and I'm not very happy about it

It just feels a bit disrespectful, they shouldn't have been upstairs in the first place and I don't like that they've been messing with my stuff. The more time goes on and the more of this shit I find, the less impressed I am. The whole camera thing is the final straw and I'm having a bit of a sense of humour failure

OP posts:
Jux · 31/01/2016 13:40

Scan the 'best' cock and balls. Then whatever you make for any of them, add it somewhere like a logo.

Topseyt · 31/01/2016 13:40

*Competition. Put too many "iiis" in there. Blush

flippinada · 31/01/2016 13:43

This awful, not surprised you're having a sense of humour failure. It seems especially nasty because it sounds like something really malicious and destructive dressed up as a 'joke'.

As satisfying as some of the revenge ideas are, IRL I wouldn't put them into practice because that might escalate matters.

slightlyglitterbrained · 31/01/2016 13:44

It doesn't really matter if it's "their type of humour". Pranks are only funny pranks if you play them on someone who shares that sense of humour and gleefully starts planning the return prank.

Otherwise it's being an arrogant bullying fucker. Whining at someone that "they just can't take a joke" is the act of a breathtakingly self-centred dick.

Cut them out. Don't waste time trying to make them understand. If they haven't got it by 40, they're so well insulated against stuff like "giving the tiniest of shits about your actions causing pain to others" that you'll be wasting your energy.

Spend your time with other friends instead. Ones that are capable of empathy.

roachslayer · 31/01/2016 13:50

I'm waiting for someone to advise you to ring 101 'to log it'...

MaisyMooMoo · 31/01/2016 13:52

I'm waiting for someone to advise you to ring 101 'to log it'..

GrinGrinGrin

ShowMeTheWonder · 31/01/2016 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 31/01/2016 13:56

Unpinning something that has obviously taken hours, how it that not malicious?

A couple of cock & ball pics & arse photos, but they just don't know when to stop, do they?

If you say something, are they likely to tell you that you can't take a joke?Hmm

Veritat · 31/01/2016 13:57

For God's sake, what 40 year old thinks drawings of cocks and balls and arse photos are funny? I really couldn't be doing with associating with people who've never developed mentally beyond the age of 12.

dammmit · 31/01/2016 13:57

It's beyond a practical joke, it's nasty and seems like they're mocking your hobbies. I would

1.Send them a bill for the damage
2.Tell them to piss off forever
3.Get new friends.

Plateofcrumbs · 31/01/2016 13:58

I wouldn't retaliate by putting arse photos on Facebook etc - it's just engaging at their level.

If you want to do anything I'd send them an email saying how upset you are and how many hours work they have wrecked etc (the quilt thing is unbelievable!). I think they need to realise that it's just not funny.

I really don't get these kind of cruel practical jokes. I mean, why do it? What kind of reaction do they expect to get? Why would anyone think it is s good idea to wreck someone's hard work or ruin a room on a wedding night? Do they think you're going to smile and say 'haha, good one!'. Either you need a complete lack of empathy or a total
disregard of people's feelings.

Paintedhandprints · 31/01/2016 13:59

My narcissitic mother went into our honeymoon suite and messed up our bed too. Neither of us were impressed. Some childish friends drew cocks in our wedding message book over other peoples messages.

Gabilan · 31/01/2016 14:00

I'd be raging, which I doubt would help as they'd probably think it was funny. Practically, I'd cut them out. I'd also put a lock on the door and make sure I was the only person with access.

MaisyMooMoo · 31/01/2016 14:01

I would play along with the humour in order to establish who exactly did it. If they think you found it funny they are more likely to admit to it because they will want a pat on the back and recognition for being the joker. Then, when you know who they are unleash the rage!!!

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/01/2016 14:03

For God's sake, what 40 year old thinks drawings of cocks and balls and arse photos are funny? I really couldn't be doing with associating with people who've never developed mentally beyond the age of 12.

I agree. I must have a sense of humour failure too but that's fine by me. Fortunately so must my friends. I don't know anyone who would behave like this.

I agree retaliation reduces the OP to their level.

ExConstance · 31/01/2016 14:04

I'm sorry, OP but you come across as a humourless killjoy to me. First you really don't want a party, and you are cross at your DP for arranging one. Most people who say they don't want a party really enjoy surprise ones and you have been really unkind to your DP who seems to have genuinely thought you would love it. Secondly apart from the pins ( which is a total pain) the other two pranks are really quite funny. The camera was not damaged, you can delete the photos, you really are being very petty and entitled about that. I'm very aware ( as I've been to a string of 60th birthday parties in the lst 12 months, and have mine in the summer) tht if it was a big number your guets might just have been thinking they would act like teenagers, because they are not they are adults having a rare time off the leash of being grown up and sensible.

Veritat · 31/01/2016 14:07

Come off it, ExConstance. If you seriously think arse photos and genital drawings are funny that just makes you immature, not a radiantly humorous life and soul of the party. And sorry, if as a 40 year old or indeed a 60 year old you feel you want to act like a teenager, there's nothing funny about doing it by vandalising someone's property and sabotaging work that it's taken them hours to do.

Veritat · 31/01/2016 14:08

I absolutely agree about not putting the photos on Facebook, they'll probably love it and think it's even more exquisitely funny.

Helmetbymidnight · 31/01/2016 14:09

most people who say they don't want a party really enjoy surprise ones
Wtaf? ShockGrin

AnyFucker · 31/01/2016 14:09

ExC has just belied my thought that there can't really be 40yo's that are this crass and juvenile. Thanks for posting.

MaisyMooMoo · 31/01/2016 14:11

So the OP is a humourless killjoy because she doesn't like people rummaging through and defacing her personal belongings Hmm

SpinachJelly · 31/01/2016 14:11

I would be really tearful and sad if 'friends' pulled this kind of stunt.
You are not a 'humourless killjoy'.

Namechangenell · 31/01/2016 14:11

I'd send an email to everyone who came, along the lines of thanks so much for coming, was great to see you all etc. And then I'd follow up with something like you'd just been into your studio and found that someone who was present that night had caused £X of damage and wasted hundreds of hours of your work, which has somewhat sullied your memories of the evening. Could whoever it was please get in touch with regard to paying for X, Y and Z.

Then I'd sit back and wait. The decent people will be appalled and the culprit will (hopefully) be shamed into owning up. And apologizing.

I would feel entirely violated in your position, OP. These people are not your friends.

OzzieFem · 31/01/2016 14:13

I was also going to suggest a lock on your studio door. These people are not friends, they are the stupid type who go out and do pranks, in which someone can end up dead. They could probably end up with a Darwin Award.

CaptainCrunch · 31/01/2016 14:14

The OP isn't a killjoy, petty or entitled. ExConstance, your post is utterly puerile, probably like your "sense of humour" if you truly believe this behaviour is funny and in any way acceptable.

OP, these aren't friends. They shouldn't have even gone into the room, let alone defaced your property and ruined your work.

FWIW I'm a pretty sociable person with a large friendship circle. I would HATE a "surprise" party and I would not tolerate anyone going into my personal space like this.

YANBU.