to be having a bit of a sense of humour failure over this?

[Ellybellyboo]

Sorry, this might be a bit long winded

I like 'creative' stuff - sewing, drawing, photography, etc - general art-ery fart-ery. The attic of our house had been converted to a huge room when we moved here so I use it as a kind of studio.

A few weeks ago I had a big birthday and DH arranged a surprise birthday party. I had been really clear that I absolutely did not want a party, I'm quite introverted and just didn't want a big hoo-ha.

He arranged one anyway. I was a bit miffed but grinned and bared it, and actually had an OK night.

In the weeks since, I've discovered that some of our friends had been up in my studio and played some oh so hilarious practical jokes. There was absolutely no need for them to go up there, there's no toilet or anything up there and the door at the bottom of the stairs was shut.

Nothing has been broken or damaged, but silly stuff like a cock and balls drawn onto every page of a sketch book, a huge quilt I've been making and had pinned out ready to be quilted has had all the pins removed, all my drawers and storage had been rearranged.

A couple of years ago I saved up and bought myself a DSLR camera. It wasn't cheap so I'm a bit precious about it. Yesterday we went out for a day out so thought I'd take my camera. Turned it on to find about a million photos of bare arses and I'm not very happy about it

It just feels a bit disrespectful, they shouldn't have been upstairs in the first place and I don't like that they've been messing with my stuff. The more time goes on and the more of this shit I find, the less impressed I am. The whole camera thing is the final straw and I'm having a bit of a sense of humour failure

Id be pissed off by all of it but especially the quilt, as a fellow quilter its takes bloody ages to pin them all, so its not something they would have unpinned in a hurry, it would have taken them quite a while to get through them all.

I would be fuming and not allow them back in the house, what else do you think they could have gone through??

I'd send an email to everyone who came, along the lines of thanks so much for coming, was great to see you all etc. And then I'd follow up with something like you'd just been into your studio and found that someone who was present that night had caused £X of damage and wasted hundreds of hours of your work, which has somewhat sullied your memories of the evening. Could whoever it was please get in touch with regard to paying for X, Y and Z.

This - I would do this but thats cos im evil and would want everyone to know what some idiot had been up to. and Id make up they'd damaged the camera so they feel really awful for doing it.

OK. Its shit. Your 'friends' who you didn't want around anyway, are not friends. Your DH is a bit of an idiot.

You are all adults. You can't make a fuss about this and not lose face.

Practical steps:

Throw away the sketch book. Buy another.
Delete the arse photos. Or make a fab display of them and put it up in the local supermarket as 'arse art'.
Clean your camera carefully.
Clean and possible rearrange your studio.
Put a big padlock on the door and only you have a key.
Go through all the good stuff you've done (I assume, if you have a studio, you have some work up there?) and remind yourself who you are.

Forget the lot of them.
You'll be fine.

Make it clear to the DH that he never springs a party on you again. Ever.

You are totally right and they are all wrong. It would annoy the hell out of me, make me quite murderous in my thoughts. But I'd have to do what I've suggested above, and I know I would feel better afterwards.

I could ignore the camera as it is easy to fix but the quilt!!! That on it's own would make me crazy

I would be livid. To me that screams of bullying, like emptying someones school bag all over the playground, because it's "funny".

I would be uploading every single arse onto Facebook and tagging them with the names of the partygoers. What utter, utter arseholes.

possible? possibly.

I probably would've found the photos funny if it was just that.

The rest is pretty unkind.

I wouldn't be lowering myself to their level by putting anything on FB. Not everyone airs their lives constantly in that way and OP certainly doesn't sound the type.

Sorry exconstance but you are wrong and I support everyone else who has expressed their concern. It is the sneaky nature of the damage i.e. leaving a party to spoil things that are of importance to the person whose special birthday you were there to celebrate. Then the op keeps finding more things they have tampered with so the unpleasantness is still ongoing and is spoiling her enjoyment of her retreat. The spoiling of a wedding night room is also unpleasant; my dd has been a bridesmaid a number of times as an adult and they have ever only personalized the room and left thoughtful surprises for the bride and groom. In both cases anything else is just offensive and is not the action of true friends.

Arse photos are funny when you're a student. I remember it was certainly the "rule" at parties I went to that if you left your camera unattended you'd find the film finished when you got it back. But that was a very long time ago.

Whatever social media they re most likely to be found on, then, AF. It's a bullying 'joke' because the arses have been left in secret to offend and humiliate the finder. So - in my view - they deserve to be aired publicly.

I don't think you are having a sense of humour failure AT ALL!! They were being completely out of order doing all that stuff and it's not funny at all!! No need for them to go in there! It's your space!
(And I am someone who may have let out a small chuckle at say ONE cock and balls on ONE page or A COUPLE of draws being swapped over, but this is total overkill and therefore uncalled for!)

Roachslayer

Seriously though. Fuming, livid, raging, vandalism...? Sending them a BILL? What an enormous overreaction. Of course OP has every right to be annoyed, personally I don't think I would be this upset but that's irrelevant. Trying to rile her up about it is not helpful. Sometimes in life people do stupid things with pretty harmless and minor consequences, and you just move on. Because what's done is done, no harm was meant and no harm was done.

I think posting the pics would just escalate the situation and they would absolutely love it, going off their previous behaviour.

I would be really hurt. How fucking dare they unpin your work.

I also have a very good and expensive camera. If anyone touched it without asking I would be pissed off. Yes, it's just photos but the equipment costs a lot and it is not a toy for people to piss about with plus I also have a lot of settings programmed and if they were touched it would piss me off even more.

You do not go into someone's room and mess with their stuff. It's not funny, it is cruel and I would be wondering if they actually liked and respected me.

your guess might just have been thinking they would act like teenagers, because they are not they are adults having a rare time off the leash of being grown up and sensible.

I have never felt the need to act like teenagers because I am having a rare time off the leash of being a grown up It disturbs me that you think it's ok, or even normal for adults to want to act as teens. BTW I have teens and I can't imagine them doing this because they know to respect other's property.

Some people have obviously never pinned a quilt. If they had they wouldn't be saying "No harm done!"

It is hours of work just pinning a quilt, let alone a double. And that is not even counting the time it takes to colour sort the pieces, which can take a day or so on its own. Why should all of that be discounted with a breezy "never mind, dont fuss"?

What's done is done is, to me, a recipe for disaster. The culprits never know how much time and effort they have wasted and how much distress they have caused. What's done is done is something a very upset person gets told when someone is trying to protect the culprit from feeling bad! Ah bless and all that shite!

Yeah, OP please don't lower yourself by posting their arses on FB. It just makes you look as immature as them and you lose the higher ground.

Harm was meant though- ruining a sketch pad, meaning op has to buy another. Ruining hours of work pinning a quilt knowing she would have to redo it all the time being reminded of her so called friends. Taking revolting pics and leaving them for her to find, and messing up her drawers.

It's nasty. I wouldn't post on FB any pics though. They'll like that. And maybe try to get some of you and post. People like that are cruel IMO, and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them.

What a bunch of A holes...the only up side to this is at least it didn't happen at your 50th, you get to ditch them now without having to waste another 10 years of your life on them!

I wouldn't even give them the satisfaction of any response at all, no e-mail, nothing.

This sounds like a teenage prank. It would piss me off, especially if it was for a party i didn't want in the first place.