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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be having a bit of a sense of humour failure over this?

330 replies

Ellybellyboo · 31/01/2016 11:11

Sorry, this might be a bit long winded

I like 'creative' stuff - sewing, drawing, photography, etc - general art-ery fart-ery. The attic of our house had been converted to a huge room when we moved here so I use it as a kind of studio.

A few weeks ago I had a big birthday and DH arranged a surprise birthday party. I had been really clear that I absolutely did not want a party, I'm quite introverted and just didn't want a big hoo-ha.

He arranged one anyway. I was a bit miffed but grinned and bared it, and actually had an OK night.

In the weeks since, I've discovered that some of our friends had been up in my studio and played some oh so hilarious practical jokes. There was absolutely no need for them to go up there, there's no toilet or anything up there and the door at the bottom of the stairs was shut.

Nothing has been broken or damaged, but silly stuff like a cock and balls drawn onto every page of a sketch book, a huge quilt I've been making and had pinned out ready to be quilted has had all the pins removed, all my drawers and storage had been rearranged.

A couple of years ago I saved up and bought myself a DSLR camera. It wasn't cheap so I'm a bit precious about it. Yesterday we went out for a day out so thought I'd take my camera. Turned it on to find about a million photos of bare arses and I'm not very happy about it

It just feels a bit disrespectful, they shouldn't have been upstairs in the first place and I don't like that they've been messing with my stuff. The more time goes on and the more of this shit I find, the less impressed I am. The whole camera thing is the final straw and I'm having a bit of a sense of humour failure

OP posts:
Inertia · 31/01/2016 12:18

That's horrible - incredibly disrespectful. Was the camera damaged?

Are you on Facebook with the people that did it? I might be tempted to post a message saying how disappointed you are that the 'friends ' who wrecked your work still haven't had the guts to own up or apologise.

YaySirNaySir · 31/01/2016 12:20

Yanbu. They need to grow up. I have a craft room/study and if someone had messed with my stuff as a 'joke' I'd be fuming too. Wankers.

AdriftOnMemoryBliss · 31/01/2016 12:23

wow, i'd be hurt, angry, pissed off and feel so, so violated.

I would seriously reconsider a friendship with anyone who did that because its just completely unnecessary and not even slightly funny!

Helmetbymidnight · 31/01/2016 12:23

Wow!

What shits they are, really.

BillBrysonsBeard · 31/01/2016 12:23

I love inappropriate humour and find the funny side of most things, but there is nothing funny about this. It doesn't feel playful, more like they're disrespecting your hobbies and showing you they think it's an unimportant thing. They sound 12!

Nanny0gg · 31/01/2016 12:27

I think it's your DH who should be speaking to them and there should be an expectation that they apologise and at the very least, replace the sketchbook.

Then have nothing to do with them again.

Fannycraddock79 · 31/01/2016 12:28

I have a fantastic sense of humour and yes one or two cock and balls and maybe a bare arse shot would make me laugh but taking the pins out of your quilt? I'm be fucking fuming. Could husband send group text saying something like "whoever took it upon themselves to go into dw's studio and take apart hours of work has really upset dw, she feels very let down", wouldn't serve any other purpose than to make them feel a bit guilty (hopefully), but would make you feel better that they knew you were upset.

Ps v jealous of you having an art room!

Squishyeyeballs · 31/01/2016 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Damselindestress · 31/01/2016 12:32

Your 'friends' were very disrespectful. Grown adults acting like badly behaved children! I have zero tolerance for this sort of behaviour. If a visitor to my house entered private areas and damaged my possessions they would not be allowed back. I would also ask them to pay for anything they ruined, such as the sketch pad. Their behaviour was actually very mean-spirited, not funny. I can't imagine seeing that a friend had put effort into making a quilt and thinking it would be funny to pull all the pins out. I think you are minimising your feelings here. You are not suffering a sense of humour failure. You were treated badly and have every right to be angry.

sooperdooper · 31/01/2016 12:33

I would be livid about them unpinning the quilt!!! Omg thats just horrible, I'm annoyed for you :(

And ruining every page of a sketch book is awful too, bloody idiots :(

scarlets · 31/01/2016 12:38

If it were just the sketch book ....okay. I suppose. Not funny, but not bad either.

The rest is pretty terrible. They went ott.

INeedNewShoes · 31/01/2016 12:40

This isn't funny.

There's a line with practical jokes, and these 'friends' crossed it by miles.

They don't sound like the sort of people I would want to make any time for in my life.

Xmasbaby11 · 31/01/2016 12:41

Upsetting and disrespectful. You must be fuming. How old are these people? I'd find it a real violation of my privacy.

potoftea · 31/01/2016 12:43

A pp said its like something teenagers would do, but if it was done to a teen of mine, I'd be worrying about bullying because its so disrespectful and mean.
I really couldn't let this go.....what have you got to lose, the friendship is damaged anyway. I'd either ask dh to text everyone he invited to the party, explaining what happened and how upsetting it is for you both. Or I'd post on Facebook about how upsetting you found it, as you can see from this thread, the vast majority of people think its horrible behaviour.
While the photos are gross, they are at least non permanent, easily deleted. The rest is actual damage.

MrFMercury · 31/01/2016 12:44

Your husband could send a message saying they were invited as friends to celebrate a happy occasion. Instead of which some people decided to deface your property, sabotage many hours of careful work and leave explicit images for you to find. Neither of you consider this acceptable or something a friend would do and so would rather not see or speak to those responsible until they have the guts to own up, apologise and replace the items they ruined at the very least.
Your husband invited them against your wishes both to have a party and also to invite these particular people. It's his job to address the problem for you now.

MetalMidget · 31/01/2016 12:49

Yeah, it's not just the vandalism, it's the fact they've been poking around in areas of the house they had no reason or right to go in. What a bunch of colossal bellends.

Veritat · 31/01/2016 12:49

I wouldn't be 'having words' or giving them a bill for God's sake!

Would anyone actually do that to friends in real life?!

WTF, ThrowingShade? Isn't the question whether anyone would go into a friend's private workplace and vandalise their things? Do you seriously think these people are friends?

I think my reaction would be simply to strike them right off the friends' list forever and never socialise with them again in any way, shape or form.

museumum · 31/01/2016 12:54

I agree you are right to be annoyed but I really doubt that it was "malicious" as other posters are claiming.
To me "malicious" would be "oh let's do this it will really piss her off"
Whereas this sounds more "this will be really funny when she finds it" (albeit they were mistaken and misjudged)

SavoyCabbage · 31/01/2016 12:55

This happened to me on our wedding night.

My cousins (who I am not party lose to and my dh didn't know from Adam) and their spouses got our hotel key and wrecked our room. And took photos of themselves.

We never mentioned it and then a year later, the day before my sisters wedding I phoned one of them to say 'please don't do that to my sister' and none of them ever spoke to us again. Including the parents.

LittleLionMansMummy · 31/01/2016 12:56

How old are your friends? My 5yo behaves better. Yanbu.

Crabbitface · 31/01/2016 12:57

YANBU. I quilt. If someone took out all of my pins I WOULD GO BALLISTIC! It takes ages and is my least favourite part of the process.

diddl · 31/01/2016 12:58

"whoever took it upon themselves to go into dw's studio and take apart hours of work has really upset dw, she feels very let down"

For me I think "what twats thought that any of what they did would be funny & how will it be put right?"

Waypasttethersend · 31/01/2016 13:01

We need a drip feed that announces you are 9 and it's one of those odd child marriages.

I can't stand practical jokes, they are just not funny. I wouldn't be billing them or demanding they come fix it m, would anyone in real life really?

I'd just be phasing them out as they wouldn't be "my type of person" .

BastardGoDarkly · 31/01/2016 13:02

This would massively piss me off tbh.

Are you going to say anything op?

bertiebow · 31/01/2016 13:04

I would be really angry, and I wouldn't want to be friends with them anymore.

In what sense is it funny to undo something that (presumably) took hours of painstaking work (by which I mean the quilting)? It isn't, at all.

It seems to me that they secretly don't really like you. If you can't trust someone, there's no point being friends with them.