Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be having a bit of a sense of humour failure over this?

330 replies

Ellybellyboo · 31/01/2016 11:11

Sorry, this might be a bit long winded

I like 'creative' stuff - sewing, drawing, photography, etc - general art-ery fart-ery. The attic of our house had been converted to a huge room when we moved here so I use it as a kind of studio.

A few weeks ago I had a big birthday and DH arranged a surprise birthday party. I had been really clear that I absolutely did not want a party, I'm quite introverted and just didn't want a big hoo-ha.

He arranged one anyway. I was a bit miffed but grinned and bared it, and actually had an OK night.

In the weeks since, I've discovered that some of our friends had been up in my studio and played some oh so hilarious practical jokes. There was absolutely no need for them to go up there, there's no toilet or anything up there and the door at the bottom of the stairs was shut.

Nothing has been broken or damaged, but silly stuff like a cock and balls drawn onto every page of a sketch book, a huge quilt I've been making and had pinned out ready to be quilted has had all the pins removed, all my drawers and storage had been rearranged.

A couple of years ago I saved up and bought myself a DSLR camera. It wasn't cheap so I'm a bit precious about it. Yesterday we went out for a day out so thought I'd take my camera. Turned it on to find about a million photos of bare arses and I'm not very happy about it

It just feels a bit disrespectful, they shouldn't have been upstairs in the first place and I don't like that they've been messing with my stuff. The more time goes on and the more of this shit I find, the less impressed I am. The whole camera thing is the final straw and I'm having a bit of a sense of humour failure

OP posts:
girlywhirly · 01/02/2016 17:38

Even more reason to call them out on this stupid behaviour. They have DC's, what kind of example do they think they would be setting them? What do the wives think, if they don't know what happened, perhaps they should. And perhaps this should be a wake up call to the men that alcohol turns them into undesirable friends.

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/02/2016 17:51

Op - your tip about pairing knitting needles is an excellent one. I may do that this evening with my vast extensive collection Blush

#craftyandproud

originalmavis · 01/02/2016 17:54

There's just something a bit nastier about photos of blokes bums. Yuk! What a pair of, well, arses.

Is it a sports hobby? Deep heat in the jock strap? Laxative in the water bottle? Loosen all the boot studs and cut through the laces? Slow puncture in a tyre si that it goes completely flat in the back if beyond? Replace footie shirt with big lacy bra? Snip the seams of swimming trunks so that they disintegrate in the water?

I'm awfully creative myself...

Namechangenell · 01/02/2016 18:05

Just wondering if the wives of these idiots know about any of this? If DH had done something like this and upset someone who had become a mutual friend (and he wouldn't anyway) I would be absolutely mortified and giving him a bollocking myself! Surely when you stop meeting up as a group, the question is going to come up?

Waltermittythesequel · 01/02/2016 18:07

My children wouldn't do this because I parent them and teach them about respect.

Horses for courses, huh?

OP I doubt you'll get the apology you deserve. Pair of bastards. You'll be better off without them.

Gabilan · 01/02/2016 18:13

The trouble with bullies like these is they thrive on a reaction and just think your stress is funny. IME, if you're lucky, what goes around comes around.

Though I'd be tempted to let a couple of tyres down or stick a potato in an exhaust pipe. Karma sometimes needs help

rookiemere · 01/02/2016 18:21

I hate practical jokes of any kind.

Sorry this is slightly unrelated but I probably got the same gut churning reaction from it as you do every time you discover something more has been done to your sanctuary.

Last week at our big team meeting which I organised there was a "fun" quiz which I hadn't organised which involved identifying people from pictures. there was an unflattering picture of me and someone (without realising it was me) said something horrible about it. I coughed they realised it was me and whilst it upset me a little I pretended it didn't as it was an honest mistake.

Then in the afternoon other members of the team had mocked up a powerpoint slide which they showed to the entire room(about 40 people) calling me this person and showing a big blow up of the big unflattering photo.

I had to laugh and pretend I thought it was funny, but inside I wanted to burst out crying and leave the room. I felt that they were deliberately mocking me and the guy that did it was trying to reduce me somehow ( I did all the organisation but he grabbed most of the limelight.

It just felt nasty and mean. I try never to do things like that - I'm sure I do inadvertently on occasion, but to deliberately set out to belittle someone, which ruining their possessions seems similar to, says so much more about the person who does it than anyone else.

MarthasHarbour · 01/02/2016 18:26

Well played OP. I am absolutely seething on your behalf Flowers

CinderellaRockefeller · 01/02/2016 18:28

Utterly off the main thread (they are twats) have you tried using a quilting gun? a million times easier than pins and hold better than glue.

Gabilan · 01/02/2016 18:41

Rookie if that kind of thing gets repeated, that's workplace bullying. And mocking a woman's appearance whilst taking credit for her work? That's all kinds of misogynism and sexism.

DinosaursRoar · 01/02/2016 18:50

BTW - DH has a friend who does shit like this - DH is still his friend because said friend lives in another country, DH sees him when his friend is back in London on business or to visit family (or we see him and his long suffering wife at the various mutual friends weddings) - they go for dinner/drinks and laugh at his latest exploits.

Funny, his early stellar career hasn't turned out to be quite so stellar, seems in small banking communities in small tax haven countries (so where everyone knows someone who knows you), having a reputation as a bit of a twat, albeit a talented twat, limits your career progression...

rookiemere · 01/02/2016 18:53

Thanks Gablian I don't want to derail the thread, but I also felt annoyed at myself for not finding it funny ( in addition to berating myself for being fat and old), so perhaps I was underrating rather than overreacting).

OP at least you don't work with these fools so there's zero reason to maintain friendly contact with them. Make it plain to your DH that they are not welcome in your house any more.

Haggisfish · 01/02/2016 18:59

Actually the more I read here, the more angry I am on your part. I thought initially they were good pals of yours that maybe just took it a bit far, but what you are describing is just bloody awful. Sorry op.

Mrskeats · 01/02/2016 19:05

Can't believe the people saying no damage was done!! They unpicked a whole quilt
Utter arses
I would never speak to them again
I would not be happy with the party either if I hadn't wanted one

redexpat · 01/02/2016 19:09

Post the photos on their facebook wall. Ask if they know how they got onto your camera.

redexpat · 01/02/2016 20:07

Oh just saw you deleted them. Probably for the best.

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 01/02/2016 20:53

Until this, I would have said they were good mates. We hang out, meet up in the pub, get a take away, have a laugh. Probably more DH's mates than mine as they do stuff together. Bit silly when alcohol is involved but this kind of stuff is, to my knowledge, usually kept between the two of them

Even now, if they said, look sorry, we were drunk and we took it way too far, I'd be miffed, but not as miffed as I am now.

They haven't replied to DH's email and DH and I have had a good root around up there and haven't found anything else so fingers crossed that's the end of it.

Chalk it up and never invite them round here again.

Rookiie that's horrible

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 01/02/2016 21:35

OP, what was the tone of your DH's email to them? Did it convey anger at their behaviour or just ask them if there is anything else they did that you haven't found yet?

Jux · 01/02/2016 23:21

They're like children, but children get told off. A friend of dd's is a bit of a joker. She was round one day after school (they were at primary, probably about 9) and she thought it would be hilarious if they balanced a large bowl of flour/water mix on top of my bedroom door. I go into the room, bowl comes crashing down, flour/water paste everywhere. Her mum's at ours too, so she sees the mess and me dripping - there is no doubt over whose idea it was - and really tears into her dd, tells her off good and proper. The girls cleared up the mess as well as they could much crestfallen. It is highly unlikely she ever did it again, and I know dd didn't.

Those idiots need a good telling off. I hope their wives do it, but your dh should too.

I hope there isn't anything else to find, and you have restored peace and harmony to your room.

PrettyBrightFireflies · 02/02/2016 07:45

Those idiots need a good telling off. I hope their wives do it, but your dh should too

I hope their wives don't tell them off. It's not a spouses role to parent their partner.

I do hope they reassess their marriages and decide whether they can do better than immature men who have such limited capacity to consider the impact their actions have on other people's feelings.
If these jokers are prepared to go as far as they have with the OP, how much further would they go with family members?

Jux · 02/02/2016 10:11

Yes, you're absolutely right, Pretty, and I'm a bit embarrassed I even thought that, let alone wrote it down here where it will be telling against me forever Blush

OnlyLovers · 02/02/2016 10:21

Are they 12? What a pair of cunts. Forgetting what they actually did for a minute, you don't go into a room with the door shut when you're at someone else's house. Hmm

I'm glad your DH realised he was wrong to arrange the party and that he has now called them out on their behaviour, but clearly they're highly stupid and unpleasant if they think it's OK to laugh it off.

I don't blame you for not wanting to see them again, and TBH I'd expect your DH to avoid them, and to keep telling them exactly why if they asked.

mumofsnotbags · 02/02/2016 20:56

Completely off topic but cinderella I could kiss you, I have never heard of a quilting gun but just googled it and bought 1 from amazon. thank you sooo much, you've saved me a fortune in 505 spray Smile

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 03/02/2016 12:34

Oops, I've just ordered a quilt gun too

More kisses from me Grin

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 03/02/2016 12:59

Op what utter fuckwiths they are.My dp has a friend like this find childish stuff gas.

But he can give it but cant take it.
I remember we where having a few drinks and i went to bed and i woke up wiht my sil and him in my bedroom.Didnt think of it until i woke up with toothpaste in my hair.I went ballistic.Absolutley mad,i banned the 2 of them from the house.

I would just let rip at them,what have you got to lose.They might laugh at you but you will have gotten it out of your system.