To be really irritated by the 'motherhood challenge'

[Kitkatmonster]

I'm sure you've seen it, it's taking over my news feed. I seem to be the only one who thinks this is a nonsense, and a bit worrying as the number of photos of Friends of Friends' children that I've seen this weekend is actually scary. Does no one lock their page down as private anymore?! Aibu in getting irritated and wondering how many women have shed a tear secretly over seeing this, the ones battling infertility, having accepted infertility, the ones right now miscarrying a longed for baby. It seems insensitive and crass, who needs to post photos to the fb world that make them happy to be a mother? What about the mum with PND who gets inadvertently tagged? Isn't something like this likely to make her feel pretty rubbish? Are we all just so selfish and desperate to show off our perfect families that we have to take a 'challenge' like this without any concern for the people among our friends who might be experiencing one of the above? Seriously, AIBU? Am I taking this too seriously and getting irritated by a bit of fun?! It's really fucking bothering me.

[DickDewy]

I loathe anything like this on FB and never join in.

It's just like chain letters of old.

At least it reveals the weirdos so I can hide them.

[Husbanddoestheironing]

YANBU I am mortally offended by not being nominated by friends people I have a passing acquaintance with I would love to be tagged as a crazy non-cat lady though and will console myself with the fact that my 7 year old has just jumped on the bed with a big yell of 'mummy' for a rather lovely hug. Sending un-mumsnetty hugs to those who are quietly a little upset at not being nominated but trying hard not to be, and reassurance that it's your children who matter not how others judge your parenting skills.

[OhShutUpThomas]

I haven't heard of it and no ones invited me.

Don't know whether to be offended or proud

[TamaraLamara]

And how the fuck is it a "challenge"?!

I guess it's a miracle that anyone who finds it 'challenging' managed to operate a camera in the first place

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I am not keen on it. However if anyone does nominate me for it then I have a plan to go onto PubMed and post figures depicting the decreases in death rate from measles/whooping cough/etc due to the excellent vaccines we have now. The availability of safe and free vaccines and medicines make me much more happy and confident about being a mum.

[herethereandeverywhere]

I have a friend who lost her little boy (age almost 4) last year. Is she allowed to post the regular pictures of her boy, because she has experienced the attendant tragedy, or is that inappropriate for some sort of professionally offended reason too?

A cousin of mine participated in this 'great mum' thing. I loved seeing her 'bigging up' being a mum and her great skills as a mother. Because she escaped DV and has raised an amazing DD all on her own. Regardless of how it is making others feel, it's making her feel great.

[Husbanddoestheironing]

That's a great response lacontessa -maybe we should all start a 'list 10 things that make you grateful to be a parent in the 21st century' challenge. Or maybe not, but at least it would make everyone think.

[Feeches]

Whilst I can't really see the harm in it, I can't be arsed with social media bandwagons. I've been tagged but I just ignored. My DH is a bit put out though as there's no father equivalent.

[OhShutUpThomas]

My DH is a bit put out though as there's no father equivalent

Why put out? He's free to start one, surely?

[cornishglos]

Yes timetomuskup.

[Sirzy]

I was nominated, I posted a few pics but didn't tag anyone. I like the chance to be able to look back on old photos and so posted a few, I didn't tag others because of the security thing but did write an open thing to encourage parents on my list to look back and enjoy reminiscing on their own pics.

[cornishglos]

Curlyhairedassassin I hate timehop too. It's not news, it shouldn't be in the newsfeed... it just happened once and you already told us about it.

[cornishglos]

Yes and I agree with those saying it about the 'motherhood is so hard' thing. Getting so fed up of links to stuff about breastfeeding in public etc. I've been breastfeeding two babies in public for years now. Never a single problem. Get over yourselves.

[DollyMcDolly]

I wouldn't do it but it doesn't bother me. A few men on my feed has done the Fatherhood Challenge so it's not just mothers.

[sallysparrow157]

I quite like the reminder things time hop sends me, as I post very occasional, very random pics on Facebook. So it's like 'share this amazing memory with your friends' and it's a picture of a pidgeon.

[Husbanddoestheironing]

cornish that's great, I wasn't so lucky, though I was confident enough to tell people to sod off. It did make me quite circumspect about where I went some days though when I didn't feel up to dealing with it. I do wish more places would display a sign indicating that they support BFing, just so people can get the message that they will be told to sod off if they complain.

[MrsItsNoworNotatAll]

It's just another load of fb shit. As someone has already said it's like the old chain letter crap. I generally ignore reposts and the like. It's more irritating than offensive and needs to be ignored.

[LadyLuck81]

I love seeing everyone's pictures and posted mine. But the invite I got to do it just said invite other mums to do it, not best mums or whatever.

Honestly, I'm more depressed how miserable most people seem to be about it. It's not about 'raising awareness', there's nothing being sold. It's just pictures to reminisce. No harm no foul.

As for possibly offending people well...in this instance I think others infertility is not relevant. I post plenty of pics of my kids, I'm sure my friends who don't like it will have hidden me.

Sensitivity runs to intentionally upsetting posts about pregnancy etc. No one can live their life trying to accidentally not upset people in case they might possibly have suffered with something. It's different if you KNOW it would hurt someone.

So cheer up. Or just get off Facebook.

[LadyLuck81]

That last bit wasn't aggressive. More a 'you have the option not to be on Facebook'. Oops.

[MrsLion]

I loathe fb stuff like this and remove myself if I'm tagged in them. I never take part but I don't see why others can't if they want to?
'who needs to post photos to the fb world that make them happy to be a mother?' Isn't that the point of fb? You post things that mean something to you or make you happy? Like being a mother?

Yes some people have infertility problems and pnd, and seeing photos of babies might upset them, but people who don't have these misfortunes shouldn't have to hide their family away in case they upset someone.
What about people posting about a marathon? Is that considered inappropriate and crass in case it upsets people who suffered a terrible accident and lost a leg?
Should people who are building a new home not be allowed to post pictures in case it offends people who have had their home repossessed?

Sometimes I see things in Facebook that upset me. Most people have had a hardship or a tragedy that they don't want shoved in their face, but you can always just avoid Facebook.

[AutumnLeavesArePretty]

FB is great for keeping in touch but it's mainly now used for crap.

The motherhood thing is just the latest in a long line of stupid phases cluttering news feeds. At least it's replaced the I'm a cook, taxi driver, director etc when actually the person is an unemployed parent . It's never men that post this rubbish.

[WorraLiberty]

I think the motherhood challenge is nauseating tbh, much like most Facebook trends.

But having said that, I don't agree with any of the points in your OP.

If people don't want to see pics of other people's kids, they just need to scroll past, like I do.

[Strangeoccurence]

I was nominated for this, but im not doing it. Same as i was nominated for the ice bucket challenge. Didnt do that either.
Its all just a way of everyone to be a part of something, i suppose.

Facebook people who dont really know me that much probably think im an awful mother as i dont post about everything my children do. I post more photos of my dog than i do my children!

[Arkhamasylum]

In response to this, one of my FB friends volunteered her 'barely adequate parent' list, where she shared various examples of non shiny parenting. I laughed. Lots of people joined in.

The other thing made me feel a bit ill, although that could just be because I'm a sour and cynical person.

Also, nobody nominated me

[99percentchocolate]

I've been nominated a couple of times this week and it's actually given me a huge confidence boost as we've been having a difficult week with DD.
That being said, I won't be posting my own pictures as I'm concerned about the security of it. A few years ago someone I went to school with was arrested for child pornography - it wasn't wide spread news and even some of his closest friends didn't find out until he had been in hospital for a couple of months. I have no idea that there isn't someone like that who may see pictures of my daughter on my friends' friends list. That may sound far fetched but it's a worry of mine.