To be really irritated by the 'motherhood challenge'

[Kitkatmonster]

I'm sure you've seen it, it's taking over my news feed. I seem to be the only one who thinks this is a nonsense, and a bit worrying as the number of photos of Friends of Friends' children that I've seen this weekend is actually scary. Does no one lock their page down as private anymore?! Aibu in getting irritated and wondering how many women have shed a tear secretly over seeing this, the ones battling infertility, having accepted infertility, the ones right now miscarrying a longed for baby. It seems insensitive and crass, who needs to post photos to the fb world that make them happy to be a mother? What about the mum with PND who gets inadvertently tagged? Isn't something like this likely to make her feel pretty rubbish? Are we all just so selfish and desperate to show off our perfect families that we have to take a 'challenge' like this without any concern for the people among our friends who might be experiencing one of the above? Seriously, AIBU? Am I taking this too seriously and getting irritated by a bit of fun?! It's really fucking bothering me.

[pootle100]

Hi everyone

I know this was a post from a couple of months back, but I see the "motherhood challenge" is back and like the OP, I too found it kind of left me feeling a bit...miffed. So I thought instead of just frowning at my screen like usual, I would do something about it.

Today I started this challenge on fb. Please feel free to copy and use on your own fb....I would love to see if this could catch on.

#REALlifechallenge

So I've started seeing a few of those "motherhood" "perfect family" "my life is great" bla bla bla photo challenges doing the rounds on FB again.

Yeah it's nice to see all the lovely photos but it's always seemed a bit...well...dare I say it...forced...unreal?


Do all these images make us feel good? Or do they make people feel inadequate, that life is measured on perfection, on having the big house, latest car, most well behaved kids? Could it be that being bombarded with such, actually makes a lot of people feel bad...like they are failing if their lives don't measure up.

Now I'm sure there are moments of utter bliss and love in everyone's lives and I don't for one second doubt that, but there's also the times when you feel crap, the kids are laying on the supermarket floor screaming, the dog has pee'd up the sofa, the cats thrown up in your shoes and you've spent the whole day with your pants on back to front. Yes; that is real life. Those embarrassing, cringeworthy, patience testing days that everyone experiences and what unite us as human beings.

Normal, imperfect, honest, sometimes getting wrong, not having it all....real people.

So my challenge is to fight back against this trend to share the "perfect" and instead...share the "real life"

Copy this status, post 3 pictures which sum up the days where it all goes a bit tits up, add some captions and then tag 5 friends.

[Gummydrops]

I saw it, I didnt like it so I didnt do it. However I have no problem in other people taking part. Your argument that other people may get upset etc. Is ridiculous. How do you know people are not sharing pictures of long wished for children. Hiw do you know they didnt miscarry. I see things that upset me every day but I have the capacity to deal with my feelings and not be upset at someone elses happness. It is a celebration if motherhood and I fully suport that just not the medium used.

[runningLou]

3point anonymity is the difference ... and it's a bloody important one!

[hownottofuckup]

Ha 3point good point!

[hownottofuckup]

I've seen this and been tagged in to do it. I haven't because I look fuggly in all photos don't feel the need. The person that tagged me did feel the need and knowing her I completely understand why she did.
Some people struggle with not having DC, some people struggle with having them.
Live and let live. And if you don't like the post scroll past it.

[3point14159265359]

Nothing wrong with my reading comprehension, thanks.

I think it's interesting when MNers get all 'FB is for losers people who want to tell their friends what they think or have done and who have too much time on their hands', whilst using their free time to tell strangers what they think or have done.

But if you think there's some kind of worthy difference, carry on.

[Marilynsbigsister]

Amused that posting on the internet that I don't need to post the minutiae of my life on the Internet ?..

Interested how that is amusing ? Have I at any point in my posts told you what I or family members are doing ? Where we have been? Or what we have done, with who ? I thought not.

That is what is meant by posting 'minutiae' of life... Apologies if I used a word you didn't understand.

[3point14159265359]

I do love it when people post on the internet that they have no need to post the minutiae of their life on the internet.

[isitginoclock]

Yanbu.

It's annoying. Sycophantic. And just ... Ugh.

[ocelot41]

Self congratulatory, smug bollocks. Bleurgh.

[DragonsTail]

YANBU.

I have too many friends who'd love to be a mother but can't.

I know mums crippled by pnd, and therefore would struggle to feel able to choose pics to share - almost running it in their faces.

And what about dads.

[Marilynsbigsister]

I have an absolute fool proof way to never ever have this type of dilemma. - I don't do face book. - there, I said it ! I feel absolutely no need to 'post' the minutiae of my life on the Internet.

It saves God knows how many hours out of my life - compared with people I know who feel compelled to do this. So far the sky has not fallen on my head for such rebellious behaviour...

[Glowie79]

When I saw this "challenge" starting I quickly changed my privacy settings so that I would have to allow any tags and sure enough couple of hours later I got nominated. I didn't mind seeing my friends post their pictures and it was lovely seeing them, the problem I had though was that if I had seen my wall fill up like this before I got pregnant with my son, after 7 years of trying and giving up hope, I can't tell how it would have felt. I have friends that have been trying for even longer and gone through gruelling fertility treatments, and for me to nominate the lucky ones that have had babies is just not fair, because these women that have been trying for so long are also mothers, they just don't have their babies yet and might never do.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Ha, I was just coming onto this thread after a few days away to see if anyone had posted the Daily Mash link and am pleased to see they have - it's hilarious!

[Obs2016]

I don't like it and haven't done one.

[KacieB]

Well that link gave me the giggles at least, so thanks for posting

[3point14159265359]

*fanjo. Apparently autocorrect doesn't speak MN.

[3point14159265359]

I thought it was brilliant, possibly because I didn't squeeze my children out my Fabio.

I often get my news from the Daily Mash before I even see the news it's satirising.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

To each their own, Juggling - I thought it was very funny even though I do have kids of my own! Mind you I approach it from the other side; my biological mum was a shit mum (IMO) and I have much closer relationships with mother-figures who didn't 'push me out', as it were. So the whole 'I made this with my uterus, revere me' thing is ridiculous to me and I enjoy seeing it mocked.

I love the Daily Mash, it's fab

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

No, I think your radar is good Highsteaks but then I would say that as you kindly agreed with a couple of my comments

However ironic it thought it was trying to be I found it slightly misogynistic - or at least, as I said before, disrespectful.

[Whathaveilost]

Daily mash seems disrespectful in its tone to me

Lol! You do know is a satire page don't you and ribs everyone and thing topical!

Daily Mash are probably not exclusively MNers. This topic has been covered on many social network forums as well as in the mainstream media.

[JEC8878]

ok really. Everybody know what facebook is about. People do post rubbish on it ( I don't want to know what people are having for their tea) But it is a public site and people are free to put on what they wish. why should people not share their memories and happy times spent with their children with others. there is always something on facebook that will upset somebody. If you don't want to read it or see posts about it then either come off facebook or block the feed. don't make other people feel bad for sharing opinions. And as for a comment previously made about people neglecting their children to be on facebook is bang out of order. You do have some time to do things like when children having dinner or afternoon sleep, just to presume that they are been neglected because they have posted something on facebook is ridiculous.

[Highsteaks]

Yes I thought that daily mash article was trying to make the point that women have been giving birth to and raising kids for thousands of years, and have never needed all this back patting before, which is true. But it just took it a bit too far. Meh, maybe my irony radar is now.switched off or.something.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

OK Contessa, but humour is a funny thing isn't it? Sometimes it chimes with us, and someimes it doesn't.

I know that sometimes I love good observational humour but equally I also know that I have a pretty strong "that's going too far" thing for me personally.

I think I've clicked on a Daily Mash link once or twice before so I'm not that familiar with it, no. I have a feeling further familiarity will not necessarily make the heart grow fonder!

[Highsteaks]

Wow, pretty poor standard of journalism from the BBC there I thought, especially where they missed the irony and wit from TP.

Yes I thought that as well, maybe they have got some Fail journos on board.

Like every other thing humans might do is a contender for a sense of achievement but being a mother is reduced to "Look what just came out of my fanny"

Yes agree with this as well - I'm really not a 'being a mama is the hardest job in the world but I love my bubs sooooo much' type, but I would say that motherhood is more than just pushing a creature out of your vag.