To want to get rid of a lot of DD's presents?

[lill72]

Over the years DD has been given many things by my MIL in particular, that include a handmade quilt and other things for her room. She asks me what kind of quilt I would like, but then never really listens to me anyway and goes ahead and just makes what she wants. So I end up with room decor that does not really fit into the room. Even though I sent her a photo of the room. So I end up with this mish mash of thinsg in her bedroom and I would really like to do it my way and have it with all the things I like. Feel slightly torn. Not big in the grand scheme of things, but along with all the Dora tshirts and Frozen pyjamas is clogging up the small bedroom with things I despise. Any ideas on how on how to manage this? Will i ever have the room I want? Not big in the big scheme of things, but impacts every day if you know what I mean!

I do. I had rosebud on everything. Rosebud wallpaper, rosebud duvet cover, I loved my room!

Looove rosebuds Nightwanderer

For goodness sake, the child is 5. Let the OP decide what's in the room. A 5 year old isn't going to care as long as her toys are there.

Please let you DD have the room she wants! It's her space not yours. & most children want frozen, Disney, peppa whatever!!! & please give her back her frozen bed cover if she loves it. This thread has made me feel quite sad. Let her be a child.

Let her have garish pink and the frozen duvet ( given most character duvets are single it can't be too big). Who cares as long as she's happy. She's a child. It's a time to indulge and be fun, not pristine plain and stylish.

She will look back and remember you taking away items and not letting her decorate how she likes or discovering her own tastes.

Maybe your husband should declare he doesn't like your tastes and start removing and replacing items.

OMG this equation with Disney and Frozen = happy childhood makes me want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DD has Frozen dress ups, Frozen dolls, Peppa Pig dolls, Dora dolls, pencil cases, tshirts etc etc!!!! Why does she need it in a duvet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I buy her some of these things even though I despise them, as I know they make her happy!!! If she doesn't have Dora curtains, she is deprived. Get a grip!!!!!

Mia - sad? Really??? DD has a gorgeous mid sleeper bed with a canopy which makes her feel like a princess, gorgeous cushions underneath with bookshelves of books to sit and enjoy reading by herself or with DH and me, a lovely dolls house, a dress up box full of lots of wonderful things, a magical fairy door - fairies bring little treats for various reasons every now and then, Fairy lights. Ah sorry how is that sad?? I'd rather her not have one Frozen duvet in her room all the time and she is having a sad childhood.

In her room stays the quilt, a giant teddy her grandmad gave her, all the soft toys granny gave. etc etc. I could go on. There is a hideous felt faity thing her granny just gave her, which stays as granny gave it to her and that means something to her as she knows granny gave it to her.

DD loves her room and loves looking at things for it with me. Not sure what the crime is.

Dustybloo- When I was working in nurseries, they always mentioned creating inviting spaces for children to do things. Hence my idea fof floor cushions which are lovely for DD and I to sit. From a very youg age she has sat there sometimes of her own accord and picked up a book. It is super sweet. It is also a very bonding time reading there together. My 1 year old has also started sitting there and grabbing a book. We also read anywhere around the house like you - this is just a quiet place they can go if they like!!!

Some of you get where I am coming from - thank you for your comments!

Japanese Slipper - totally agree with your comments thank you. Goodness the pineapple lamp has taken a beating. Was just an example of colour etc as you say. Obviously not good to give any examples for fear of judgement!

Yes of course DD will want to do her room as she wants soon enough but for now she is happy and we have fun choosing things together...

Christina - exactly!

Sister of Mercy - am putting Marie Kondo in action as we speak!

Swirling - yes I think you may be right. I am a bit overwhelmed by the stuff as I feel bad throwing it out (soft toys, clothes NOT handmade items) as I kow she has spent money on it but we just dont have the room. We even inherted 2 big soft toys given to me bother in law from MIL and I am loathe to give away as I feel guilty! The soft toys baskets are overflowing.

MIL def does not listen to what I say and goes ahead anyway. She came from a farm where space was not an issue and she buys all these enormous things that we cannot fit in a London flat. Everything is big! She continues on, even when she sees how much space we have and what the room looks like. She is going to make another quilt for DD2 - wondering if she will ask me about that one!

sorry for spelling errors!! Brother in law

Lill I am totally with you on this one. Given that you're into this stuff I'm sure you want to be the person helping to develop her tastes rather than the Disney corporation.

Sounds like she has plenty of exposure to all the kiddy favourites - she doesn't need the blooming bedspread too. When she looks back she'll remember her unique, gorgeous room and be glad that her mum put effort into making it beautiful for her. The pineapple lamp sounds fab. My DS would love one.

I would be kind to mil and put her stuff in a box to bring out occasionally. But I'd be constantly hinting that you both like DDS room the way it is.

Exactly Laurie! She does love her room and cannot wait to show all her friends her canopy bed. They climb up on it and sit on the cushions (which are not pink!) on the bed and play for hours....

Why feel guilty about the soft toys? If your BiL passed them on he obviously didn't. If your daughter likes them, keep them, if not, get rid, someone will love them. At 5 your dd will undeRstand so just involve her in the sorting out and maybe offer something else in exchange (one of the tiny but precious thing they love at that age like a new lego set or things with a shelf life like a pen set).

(Room sounds lovely btw and I remember all those sorts of things from my childhood. My earliest memory involves me getting very cross about mis-matched colours sometime before the age of 2).

Totally off topic but my 4 year old is Dora obsessed and will only wear Dora t shirts which I have been struggling to get. Any chance you would like to sell them to me? That way they are going to a good home. I would bite your hand off for them

I wouldn't say you sound controlling but your posts do come across as a little... Wanky in places. And this is from someone also in the "industry ". I think that's why you have had a hard time.

Thing is, I don't really understand your problem, well I do but I'd guess 99% of parents of young children are given stuff they don't like or don't have room for by well meaning relatives. Just because you have a specific design aesthetic in mind for your DD's room doesn't mean it's harder for you to store or have to part with stuff.

It sounds like you've chosen the main components eg furniture, majority of decor and layout of your DD's room, and provided storage for the tat - what it is exactly that MIL is stopping you from doing??

I'm with you OP. I've spent hours planning my kids' rooms (it doesn't come naturally to me!) and they look lovely as a result. Really calm, cosy sanctuaries for bedtime. They're kind of loosely themed (cars and construction vehicles for the boys, cat for DD) but not Disney etc character-driven.

When MIL (whose taste in Christmas presents makes most people gasp in horror - literally) gives us items to be displayed around the house, we thank her profusely then put them in a cupboard, never to be seen again. Don't care if the kids like them, there's plenty of other stuff that we all like. Life's too short to live with stuff you hate.

OP, excuse the pun but you need to Let It Go.

I am not that into interiors but I do like rooms to be tidy and organised and fairly minimalist and uncluttered. I am ruthless about chucking stuff out.

My DD is 6 and I despair.
She is a creative type and likes to keep even every chocolate wrapper for some project, she likes stuff all around her. Her multitude of teddies are all dressed up with little folds of tinfoil round their necks for scarves, every surface is covered in THINGS.

Ah well. Its how she is.

Swirling - thank you for the suggestions and kind thoughts on the room.

Rage - I know what it must sound like and I truly dont mean to sound like that and dont think you would think this EVER if you met me. All I mean to say is that when you do study design or similar, you do look at the world a bit differently in terms of asethtics compared to say if you study economics. It is because you are training your eye. Therefore things involving aesethics might bother you more. Ya know. I work in a creative job, so guess it carry's over into everything. I really really dont mean to come across in a wanky way!!

Do others find it hard to part from unwanted gifts?

MIL not stiopping anything = just room drowning in gifts that are just too big etc. DD has so many soft toys she rarely plays with any. Only holding onto some for DD2 who is 1.

Julie - yes exactly.Life is too short. You have inspired me. I just cleaned out a few soft toys and put into my drawer to see if DD even notices.

Bump - so you chuck a lot out but let things go a bit with DD?

Strawberry - i probably do have a few tshirts or pjs in this size but would have to look.

I'm with you op, I'm into decor and my daughters have lovely eclectic rooms, they love them and my house looks nice, they choose what they want to a certain extent from a tasteful selection, , I'm not filling my house with horrible textiles and stuff given to us just for the sake of it.

crabbie - exactly! I'm trying to make a unique, eclectic room that they love. Not sure why commercial Disney and the like would be thought of more favourably of than a room that is very personal to you?!!

Really don't see what the big deal is here. Just go ahead and decorate the room for goodness sake! The kid's 5, she won't care as long as she has play space (and is allowed to be messy - I'm a big believer in that). Buy another quilt (that matches) and alternate between the two as one is 'in the wash'. No offence given that way. Everyone's happy. Enjoy! I loved doing my kids' rooms.

Faffin - you are right! She doesn't really care! This is why I dont really know why people are so up in arms about her decorating. DD loves her room. Thanks I will go ahead and decorate!

Hooray! Good for you! Now get out there and buy your paint/paper etc. She's your DD, you've a right to enjoy! She's only 5 once

Thanks Faffin!

I resent the implication that economists' eyes don't bleed at a room full of Disney shit. I will not have it in my house.

Even economists worry whether they have bought the right shade of yellow Lego storage boxes.

Ie the geeks are with you too.

We had the same problem as you OP when the DC were small, of the Grandparent endlessly inundating us with massive toys and things totally unsuitable for our small London house. I put up with it at the time and as a consequence was constantly frustrated at the state of the house. The tipping point was when they wanted to buy an enormous trampoline which would have taken up the whole width of the garden. I said no, and probably offended them because it hasn't been as bad since.

Now I cheerfully bin, or charity shop, any unwanted gift after a respectable time. The kids are the same. Obviously wouldn't get rid of a handmade item but wouldn't necessarily display it. Its my home and I want it to "spark joy"