To want to get rid of a lot of DD's presents?

[lill72]

Over the years DD has been given many things by my MIL in particular, that include a handmade quilt and other things for her room. She asks me what kind of quilt I would like, but then never really listens to me anyway and goes ahead and just makes what she wants. So I end up with room decor that does not really fit into the room. Even though I sent her a photo of the room. So I end up with this mish mash of thinsg in her bedroom and I would really like to do it my way and have it with all the things I like. Feel slightly torn. Not big in the grand scheme of things, but along with all the Dora tshirts and Frozen pyjamas is clogging up the small bedroom with things I despise. Any ideas on how on how to manage this? Will i ever have the room I want? Not big in the big scheme of things, but impacts every day if you know what I mean!

I have to say, I sympathise, and this is as someone who doesn't do anything beyond throw a lick of paint around occasionally.

In the past MiL has given dd:

• a very large toy chest, pretty but completely impractical in a small room where there's lots of built in shelving for storage and almost no floor space
• curtains with cute animals that velcro on and off, again lovely, but 1) in no way the same size as the windows, 2) loop top for a curtain pole, when we have rails and 3) very thin pale cream cotton when dd has heavy velvet curtains to keep the warmth in and light out
• a woven rug that doesn't stay flat, and is permanently rucked up in a corner She's also given us several items of furniture, which isn't particularly helpful when you live in a small house and kind of need to pick things that fit the space!

All you can do, I think, is remember that she no doubt means well, maybe (like my MiL) she lives in a much bigger house where extra furniture can always be found a home, and that you can keep it for a while then move it up to the loft

Fortunately dd's now older and just smiles nicely and says thank you to everything then decorates her room how she likes

I'd box up the stuff you don't like and do it your way. It's your home, not your mum in law's. You can always get it out when she visits and putit back after. Refuse further offers of stuff and say it is full enough. You and your daughter can decorate it in a style you both like. Lots of pinterest style rooms are perfectly livable and wanting to make your stamp on it doesn't mean it will be 'all designery.' I think some people are being a bit harsh.

What a first world problem, most five year old girls love Dora or Frozen so it's a standard gift.

Have your room pristine and matching by all means but your daughter is five and doesn't need to be controlled or have tastes imposed on her. Childhood is a time for the latest fads, character items and comfort. Not a photo shoot for Good Housekeeping.

It must be a nightmare buying presents for your daughters if you barely allow them anything in case it spoils your look.

She's old enough to help choose how to redecorate and select what she likes, with adult guidance.

Very unMN I sent a plan with pictures of how we are redecorating and asked my family to not buy much but consider contributing to this project for their birthdays instead (they share). Like a wishlist which they usually want to pick from anyway or they can send cash, again usually something they do but they get to know how we will spend it. I'm wondering if I should ask DH to mention it to his family, they usually go nuts and buy loads of unsuitable stuff, ignoring the wishlist and age guidelines - DH has put two presents aside as unsuitable and we may consider ebaying some stuff, the money can then go towards the new room. We are also tight on space so have no room for more toys and books.

Autumn, op never said she wants it all pristine and matching. I can't see anything controlling about wanting to put your own stamp on your own home!

Ok - but look at it the other way round.

If you were making a quilt wouldn't you ask what colours the DGD and DIL wanted?

If you then decided that you didn't like green as they asked and made it yellow because you liked it better do you think that would not be a tad unreasonable?

I think it's weird to buy/make stuff for people you know they don't want then feign upset that it's not used.

Can you post pictures of the rooms? It would be lovely to see them, then we could tell exactly what you're unhappy about.

OP I get the impression that this bedroom makeover is one you would have loved as a child.

Yanbu and I know exactly what you mean. Luckily the quilt maker in my family is my mother so I was able to be much more prescriptive. Toys however - inundated. And them comments about how cluttered the house is. No shit Sherlock!

Sorry, I don't get what is stopping you from decorating it the way you want? Aside from the quilts (easily folded up and stored in a toy box if you don't want them on the bed) what else is on display that you object to?

Your Dora aversion is quite normal- plenty of parents don't like character tops, but if they've been bought then is it the end of the world if she has a few?

Does your daughter want to wear the Dora and Frozen tops or is it just you that doesn't like them?

I really can't see how a quilt would ruin a room unless you have done it really matchy. I love the few homemade gifts we have. Do the pink canvasses my friend made our daughter match her orange wall? Of course not, but it doesn't matter to me at all. The thing made with love would go with anything in my eyes.

I think you need to stop seeing it as your space and chill out a bit.

"When you have a child, you have a dream of decorating their room how you'd want....."
You really need to get a life, love.

I get you op. You want it nice for your little girl but don't want to hurt Mils feelings. Think you're getting too much stick here. What about getting an ottoman/blanket box as part of your decor and keeping them 'safe' in there.

I agree with you 100% op!!

I paint children's bedrooms for a living, usually the entire room is centred around the mural/ wall design and I feel the same about my DD's nursery.

My mil gives me things that dh used to have in his nursery to put in dd's room. It drives me mad, I always send it back. I would tell her your ideas for dd's room so she can make things that fit with the vision.

If I painted a beautiful peter rabbit mural on a wall and kitted it out with earthy tones and blue accents, it would be ruined by pink princess crap.

My DSis is an interior designer. Her house has been in magazines and it looked amazing. Her DCs bedrooms look NOTHING like the magazine pictures in real life; garish Disney Princess cushions in man made fibres, craft from school that looks like it should belong in the bin, no colour scheme what so ever, tatty Frozen posters, pop up tents etc etc. My DSis hates it but wisely credits her own creativity down to being allowed to express her own creative talents as a child. Thus her DCs can do what they want, she tries to point them in a design direction and crafts a colour palette for them but ultimately lets them take the lead in their own space.

I don't understand. Why is a quilt and a few character clothes stopping you from decorating the room?

Wow you're getting a really hard time here, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. It might be your daughter's room but it's also your home. Why should your MILs taste take precedent over yours?

Does mil live close enough for her and grandma to go shopping together for material?

I just dream of a kids' bedroom I can walk across :o

If you want her room to be all tasteful shades of concrete grey, then you're being extremely unreasonable.

With your artistic skill, you should be able to build a room theme around the quilt (if your DD likes it) and things that your DD loves.

Anything that your DD really doesn't like, though, I'd get rid.

Bloody hell OP. When your dd is a teenager you'll be in your element making the perfect bedroom that is stylish. For now; she's five. Leave it be. If she likes her bedroom why does it bother you? Seriously?

Thing is - I had started buying things for her room ie cushions,fairy lights, etc and had a theme in mind BEFORE MIL made the quilt. MIL asked me what kind of quilt I wanted. I showed her a photo of the room and the colours. Then she just went ahead and made whatever quilt she want. It is not terrible , it just doesn't match what I bought.

She never really listens to me. She wanted to get a play tent made for DD and asked me which one I would like (DD was2) I picked one from the ones sent. Then she went ahead and got it made but had Peppa Pig added all over it, totally ruining the design I think. She just does not listen to me, whcih I find annoying. It is ok if it is Dora tshirt but she often buys enormous presents which we just cannot ft in the flat! Giant floor piano was the most recent.

A blanket box is good suggestion.

The quilt is not stopping me from decoration the room. It is just the guilt I feel if I dont use it (and nospace to store) so I feel like i have to incorporate into the room even though i doesnt fit.

Naice - ah not the only thing I think about love. One of many millions of dreams! Bit harsh!!!

• decorationg the room

The enourmois presents that don't fit- I understand totally about that. We asked DP's mum to please please only get DS small presents and were running out of room for his things. She got him a play tent, a work bench and a market stall!
Don't agree about the play tent having peoppa pig on it being a problem though, its a toy not a decoration it doesn't really matter too much, just accept that your probably not going to get the perfect room and just aim for a room DD will like, it will be a lot less stressful!

Maybe she adds characters to your daughters life as your DD likes them and knows you won't buy them as they don't meet your standards of decor.

Children are only little once, your DD will remember the fun items not how the duvet matched the paint exactly.