To want to get rid of a lot of DD's presents?

[lill72]

Over the years DD has been given many things by my MIL in particular, that include a handmade quilt and other things for her room. She asks me what kind of quilt I would like, but then never really listens to me anyway and goes ahead and just makes what she wants. So I end up with room decor that does not really fit into the room. Even though I sent her a photo of the room. So I end up with this mish mash of thinsg in her bedroom and I would really like to do it my way and have it with all the things I like. Feel slightly torn. Not big in the grand scheme of things, but along with all the Dora tshirts and Frozen pyjamas is clogging up the small bedroom with things I despise. Any ideas on how on how to manage this? Will i ever have the room I want? Not big in the big scheme of things, but impacts every day if you know what I mean!

Exactly inertia.

What kind of stuff do you and your daughter like op? What would you both like in the room?

Oh I totally get this. I (along with DD!) did her room over the summer. It's really lovely, I enjoyed doing it and she loves it. About two weeks later she was given a MASSIVE Chinese kite from GPs, to hang on her wall. Quite apart from not 'going' at all, it would take up the entire wall!

They had admired the brand new room as well

Ha ha Inertia!

I am always thinking of what my DD would like - She loved dress ups for instance and its all her friends do. So I buy her the Frozen outfits etc. I buy her those magazines with plastic tat. I buy her Frozen dolls Dora this, Peppa pig soft toy. Toys ok. But when it comes to decor, I don't like these things, so I try and steer away from these with decor. Not sure why people are so up in arms about this!

DD loves the things I choose. I bought her a pink pineapple lamp for instance which she loves. When I found her new bed, I showed her online and she fell in love with it. I always show her the things i find. So she is getting to have all the toys etc in room she loves (despite whether I like or not) but we do the room together.

DD loves her room and what I have done. I am no no way taking things away from her. Gosh her room at the moment has baskets of her 'treasures' I call it tat, but she loves the little bits and pieces, so they stay.

I am not an interior designer - I have worked in art direction. Flogging - the tortured thing is a tongue in cheek industry comment. I dont think you get it as you not in the industry.

Far from binning her projects, I hang them up Flogging. you are indeed very harsh!

Emilybohemia - my thoughts exactly! This is exactly where am coming from. I dont think it's controlling either and find it strange people think this.

Plateofcrumbs - that is pretty much my thinking! I have a balance - my DD has so much of what she wants and she really loves the things i choose.

It is really my MIL that is adding things that are her taste that is the problem.

theycallme mello - I am far from what you say - I dont like matchy matchy at all. The opposite - I like eclectic, the old and the new, vintage, new, interesting things. I dont get rid of these toys, they are here, I guess I just wish my MIL would take on some of the things I say.

Sparklewater - oh dear!

You're right, I'm not in the industry. That's probably why I don't have a pink pineapple lamp

You are really taking down the tone Flogginmolly. Shows more about you than me to be honest...

Flogging

God, I bet you're sineine who has a themed Christmas tree and doesn't let the DC anywhere near it.

Your DD's GM buys and makes stuff for her. Not you. That is a lovely thing for her to do. Stop thinking about your DD's room as an interior design project for you and start thinking about it as her room. I actually feel very strongly that children's bedrooms should be their own.

Themed Christmas tree - seriously?? I couldn't think of anything worse.

Really? You sound like everything has to fit in with your interiors so it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if you were someone who insisted on only gold and silver, for example. My bad.

Exactly what I was thinking River!

What you haven't realised is that it's very easy to influence your child into apparently liking what you like.

My dm used to show me something and I'd love it. But that was usually because she was really good at finding things we all liked.
However I can remember her doing her best to persuade me that my new room was the best one for a variety of reasons. However it never stopped me coveting my dsis room which was 2-3 times the size-however dm never knew this because even at 3yo I could see that nothing was going to change the fact there was one big room and one small room and I wasn't going to get the big room.

I do the same with my dc. if I'm introducing something I really want/need them to like I do it in a different way. Dd1 is stubborn so if she doesn't like something that's it, so I do it carefully for her to decide she likes it.
Dd2 is easily influenced so I'll show the bits first I think she'll like. Ds likes it as a big reveal so I'll do it that way.

At 5yo going and choosing things or getting them as a present is such fun. It doesn't matter if it all clashes or there's a 2 foot tall t-rex next to the dolls house.

Oh, please.

All the people asking "what does your DAUGHTER want?" "children's bedrooms should look mismatched and ugly!" - get a grip. It's ok for a child's room to look attractive. It's the OP's house and she has to spend time in there. Maybe she also wants to instil a sense of aesthetics for her child. And why not?

OP, see if you can exchange the Dora tshirts (I have taken stuff back to Mothercare without receipts), there will always be something useful there. (I stock up on things like laundry markers, bath sponges, etc etc since I don't like their clothing). Otherwise, store the quilts or use them to line the inside of a cubby house/tent in the corner of the room, so you don't really see them!

I love the idea of these hand-made things but so often they are made from synthetic yarn not wool, or ugly prints, etc. It's ok to have taste.

It's ok to have taste. What a relief, Japanese, thanks for clarifying that for the rest of us vulgarians.
How can you tell that the quilt is the only non "tasteful" thing in the room? Could very easily be the other way round
PINK PINEAPPLE LAMP

Flogging, it's the op's taste, in her house. Would you seriously decorate a room around items selected by your mum in law? I don't know anyone that would.

And you sound a bit bitter.

YANBU at all.

Put the sheepskin rug from the Teepee in DD bedroom.

Hide put the quilt in the Teepee.

So harsh all of this!!! Who wouldn't want their child's room to be idilic? I spent ages planning my girls' room and they loved it! Was so much fun. I chose a theme I knew they would like, It's pleasant on the eye, and all their garish tat is stored in toy boxes that match the decor. Their room is gorgeous and everyone comments on it, but it's still a mess most of the time, I'm not a control freak! And I have a themed X as tree... Bring on the flaming, my hard hat is on

Xmas tree

I get you too OP

why shouldn't it be a bit about the OP? it's her child, her house and her parenting experience. you only get to indulge in these whims for a brief time before your kids make up their own mind.

my MIL brings my son sports decals and decorations. I quietly put them away and try to gently steer her elsewhere. She is obsessed with her other grandchildren who play hockey (we are Canadian), but my DH and I are not going to involve our kids in hockey and really don't want to encourage an interest in it. Also, the boys = sports obsessed theme is just not our thing so we've put together a room that focuses on his other interests. I'm okay with it.

None of my ds' grandparents really give a fuck about him and your complaining that your MIL buys the wrong kind of presents and took you all to Disneyland Paris.

Oh the horrors.

Ffs.

Also- we get that you like 'interiors' and work in art direction but for must people their home h's somewhere to feel cosy and safe. Not some kind of project to prove hoe co-ordinated/ stylish they are.

FWIW my mum let me decorate my room when I was 14 and I loved her for it.

I'm a former (award winning) design consultant specialising in intereriors.

I "get" being Particular over design pieces, but you are just being silly.

Be truly creative and make the quilt work, adjust your "theme" to incorporate it. Name the concept "love" and feather your palette to include the quilt, which will be a central piece due to size and visibility.

Otherwise unclench. You're a wannabe. Theming sucks the joys out of everything when it comes to children. There is a thread on here "But we took you to Stateky Homes" about parents who were hung up on their own wants and desires at the expense of their children. In not saying you're Abusive or neglectful, but your priorities are way off!

Using the frozen tshirt a as night gear is perfect, I'd do the same. Although as they get older they do want to fit in and conform with their peers. So be prepared to give way.
It's a battle not worth fighting at some point. Give the power in proportion now to hopefully prevent the rebellion later.

We get a fair amount of stuff for DD and I recycle/re-gift/bin the majority of it. The key is to box up and put out of sight quickly, it then gets forgotten and I get rid.

DD has a cheap dolls house which we don't really like. As DD is 6yo we've chatted to her and it's going in the attic to make more room for her Playmobil. We're also going to start rotating toys and games, so put half in the attic for 6mo then swap. Plus weeding out of the tat.

Regarding clothes, I tell DD it doesn't fit and charity shop. Or it has a washing machine accident. Luckily DD is into Batman so we get lots of this rather than princess stuff.

As DD gets older she will have to choose what to pass on in order to make more room for new stuff. She's already started doing this.

I tried to have lovely children's rooms. I gave up pretty quickly in the face of the onslaught of superheroes and other assorted characters. They like it, and while it's not to my taste, neither is it offensive.

DD got a Frozen quilt from family which obviously I don't like. DD obviously does. So I do have that in storage and use for when friends come over. That is my compromise.

This makes me a bit uncomfortable. It was a gift to your daughter, and a gift that she likes. It's not a compromise to take it away and only bring it out for friends - that's you directly overruling her taste in favour of yours. I know you then go on to say that it's too big, but that's presumably not your primary motivation or you would have said so initially.

Try to impose some cohesion or style by all means, but it's a bit OTT to effectively confiscate items that don't fit with your ideal room decor.