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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to shut my dog away?

463 replies

NotthespecialONE · 30/01/2016 14:34

Bit of background - DD has had a bit of a rough time at school lately, one girl has gone out of her way to exclude my daughter from the group of girls she's friends with - generally making my dds life very unpleasant at school.
Also she has found it very hard when a new sibling came along a few months ago, she was very jealous and frustrated and her behaviour deteriorated at home.

On the recommendation of her school we involved SS to get her some help, they put in place a wishes and feelings programme for my dd where they allocated her a worker to see her twice a week, one visit at home and one outside of the home environment - first week of visits started this past week.
Lady called me to arrange a day and time for first home visit and asked if I have a dog, I said yes I do and she said the dog would have to be out of the way while she was round as she got bitten by a dog when she was a child and is petrified of them, while I don't doubt that must of been absolutely horrific for her I'm now in a dilemma cos I have no idea how I'm supposed to shut my dog away and to be honest I don't want to have to shut my dog away.
On the first visit I put my dog with my ds in his bedroom but at times I could hear my dog scratching and whining at the door to get out! He's never been shut away anywhere so it must of been very confusing for him! Second home visit is arranged for this Tuesday, ds has a football match after school so won't be home to have the dog in his bedroom, I don't want to shut my dog away in any room on his own.
I want my dd to continue on the programme as she has really enjoyed the first week and hopefully it's going to really beneficial for her but what am I going to do with my dog on her visits?

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 31/01/2016 00:13

midnite the OP has bought a crate before and has suggested it herself as a solution.

But if she were to take your stance of just doing what she feels is enough and then expecting the SW to "just get on with it and do her job", she could well be jeopardising her DD's access to the service. Surely you don't think she should do that?

Iusedtobecarmen · 31/01/2016 00:14

Yy midnitescribbler

Veritat · 31/01/2016 00:14

Wonder if she tells some big rough guy to silence his rottweiler. Be lucky if he put it in another room.

Why wouldn't she? If she's going to the house to help the big rough guy's child, she can present him with a choice of shutting away the rottweiler or saying goodbye to her help.

And, if I were a children's social worker, the fact that a rottweiler was wandering around with no-one prepared to exercise control over it would make me pretty damn worried about the children's safety.

SuburbanRhonda · 31/01/2016 00:15

Jesus, carmen, please don't come and work here.

Iusedtobecarmen · 31/01/2016 00:16

I couldn't Rhonda dony worry. Id go insane with all the political correctness

SuburbanRhonda · 31/01/2016 00:18

Political correctness?

You are just too funny, carmen

Iusedtobecarmen · 31/01/2016 00:21

Okay lets imagine dog in crate, but next doors huge dog jumps over the fence and batters his way into the house? What next?
Think only solution to this is to put the wet lettuce, pardon me,I mean sw, in the crate for her own safety and conduct the meetings from there.

ilovesooty · 31/01/2016 00:21

Political correctness? Oh dear.

Iusedtobecarmen · 31/01/2016 00:22

Thanks Rhonda. I think so,but it's always nice of someone to say so.

SuburbanRhonda · 31/01/2016 00:24

Think only solution to this is to put the wet lettuce, pardon me,I mean sw, in the crate for her own safety and conduct the meetings from there.

Nobody this insensitive to people's phobias could possibly be a HCP. You're getting ridiculous now, carmen. Put the wine away and go to bed.

SuburbanRhonda · 31/01/2016 00:25

I don't mean funny ha ha.

tabulahrasa · 31/01/2016 00:27

"But dear GOD, do people really , in real life, bend over backwards to make sure a hp isnt upset or offended? If so, please tell me where you live so me and all my colleagues can go and work there."

Change jobs and yes you'll find they do bend over backwards, because they know that otherwise they go back to the bottom of the 6 month plus waiting list, or possibly not even on the list anymore because they now have a note on their file saying they were offered something and refused to cooperate.

I once received a letter telling me that a space had now become available for my DS on the portage service (home visits for pre-school children with additional support needs) which would have been amazing, if he wasn't 9 by then.

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 00:27

To much political correctness on MN. If you want to say something then bloody well say it.

Iusedtobecarmen · 31/01/2016 00:29

Put the wine away. Another classic :-D

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 00:30

Is everyone generally pissed at night on here. I dont drink

Iusedtobecarmen · 31/01/2016 00:32

I could just imagine saying to some of the people I work with that something upsets or offends me. Id be quite amazed If they took steps like what have been suggested in this thread, to comfort me.

Veritat · 31/01/2016 00:39

ironically, the dog would have been much happier and calmer with OP's presence.

Because of course no dog has ever been known to attack someone when in its owner's presence.

Oh, wait ...

Veritat · 31/01/2016 00:40

But dear GOD, do people really , in real life, bend over backwards to make sure a hp isnt upset or offended?

Dear deity, do people really, in real life, bend over backwards to make sure a dog isn't upset or offended?

tabulahrasa · 31/01/2016 00:42

Nobodies telling her to comfort the SW Hmm

It's hardly a huge hardship to spend a few days of quality training time with your own dog if it means that your DC then gets the support they need.

I mean I train my dog for no reason at all other than it's fun.

Veritat · 31/01/2016 00:43

Okay lets imagine dog in crate, but next doors huge dog jumps over the fence and batters his way into the house? What next?

I'd imagine everyone runs for it. The sort of dog that could and would batter its way through a closed door would be seriously out of control and no sane person would want to be anywhere near it.

Veritat · 31/01/2016 00:45

carmen, if as an HCP you had a patient who has a phobia of dogs as a result of having been bitten by a dog as a child - bearing in mind that dogs have been known to kill children - would you seriously tell your patient to stop being such a wet lettuce?

ilovesooty · 31/01/2016 00:47

People who use the term political correctness and complain about it are often people who want the freedom to be even more offensive than they already are.

ThirtyNineWeeks · 31/01/2016 00:51

Carmen, your bizarre lack of compassion is one thing, but your elevation of this dog (or any fucking dog by the sounds of it) to a god-like status is really very discomfiting to read when in the context of a human, fallible social worker who is trying to work with an emotionally troubled young girl.

What is wrong with you that you are waging this war against a SW you have never met? You sound unhinged and drunk and goady

Iusedtobecarmen · 31/01/2016 06:49

Drunk and goady. Hilarious.
God im bored of this now.
Hope ops dd gets all the support she needs
Hope the sw gets reported for not dping her job properly and being too preoccupied with the thought of a small dog opening a door.
Byeeee

Emeralli · 31/01/2016 07:28

I'm a HCP and have to do home-visits sometimes. I also have a dog phobia. I always phone and ask if there is a dog and if so, insist dog is shut away before I arrive. Most people comply with this and are lovely about it. A few don't and I won't enter a house with a loose dog. It's well within my rights not to visit if you refuse to shut dog away, and you will lose out on the service. Most of my colleagues also do this, as last year one was attacked and badly bitten by a dog on a home visit. It's about making the environment safe for us. Everyone thinks their dog is 'a big softy' but why should we trust you and feel on edge? We have the right to a safe working environment. If you refuse to provide that why should you benefit from our services?

It's also distracting and unhygenic to have a dog jumping around or getting mud/hair/slobber on us.

FFS just shut the dog away. It's as simple as that.

Have a bit of compassion! The woman is terrified of dogs yet you want to let dog out while she's there, and previously shut him in a room where she can hear him barking and trying to escape!

I once walked out of a home where the dog was shut away but growling and snarling and throwing itself against the flimsy door. The old man who owned it said 'if he gets out he'll go for you, they can smell fear'!!! He was very indignant when I told him he'd have to wait a few weeks for another appointment with a different person.

The woman is providing a service to your family. She doesn't have to put up with a loose dog and could refuse to return if she feels threatened or unsafe.