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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to shut my dog away?

463 replies

NotthespecialONE · 30/01/2016 14:34

Bit of background - DD has had a bit of a rough time at school lately, one girl has gone out of her way to exclude my daughter from the group of girls she's friends with - generally making my dds life very unpleasant at school.
Also she has found it very hard when a new sibling came along a few months ago, she was very jealous and frustrated and her behaviour deteriorated at home.

On the recommendation of her school we involved SS to get her some help, they put in place a wishes and feelings programme for my dd where they allocated her a worker to see her twice a week, one visit at home and one outside of the home environment - first week of visits started this past week.
Lady called me to arrange a day and time for first home visit and asked if I have a dog, I said yes I do and she said the dog would have to be out of the way while she was round as she got bitten by a dog when she was a child and is petrified of them, while I don't doubt that must of been absolutely horrific for her I'm now in a dilemma cos I have no idea how I'm supposed to shut my dog away and to be honest I don't want to have to shut my dog away.
On the first visit I put my dog with my ds in his bedroom but at times I could hear my dog scratching and whining at the door to get out! He's never been shut away anywhere so it must of been very confusing for him! Second home visit is arranged for this Tuesday, ds has a football match after school so won't be home to have the dog in his bedroom, I don't want to shut my dog away in any room on his own.
I want my dd to continue on the programme as she has really enjoyed the first week and hopefully it's going to really beneficial for her but what am I going to do with my dog on her visits?

OP posts:
Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 22:53

Sorry stupid phone. I meant I dont need to show anyone respect

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 22:56

Hilarious thirty nine weeks.
I have four dc :-)
Never said sw were 'entitled'. Though this one sounds it. I work alongside sw actually

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 23:02

Oh yeah,39weeks-
Yeah I do prefer dogs to humans mostly. They are not spiteful bullies generally are they?

user7755 · 30/01/2016 23:03

You don't need to show anyone respect? You're a HCP? How does that translate within your work?

Do you expect to be shown respect by your service users / patients?

Do you show them respect?

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:04

Im a health professional myself

please quit.

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:05

They are not spiteful bullies generally are they
not if they have a good bitch to keep them in their place....

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 23:06

Please quit? Classic.
If I was wetting myself over a diddy spaniel locked in another room and I had to ring a family in advance to remove the dog I would definitely quit. Trust me

ricketytickety · 30/01/2016 23:06

Can a friend/family have the dog for you round their house? I think her phobia sounds quite severe and having the dog in a crate / in another room isn't enough for her - she'll be distracted asking where the dog is, can he escape etc etc.

I really think getting the dog out of the house is your best solution. You're not likely to find another problem like this. Crate training may well be useful for you in the future but right now this lady won't be happy with a crying dog in a crate somewhere,

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:09

If I was wetting myself over a diddy spaniel locked in another room and I had to ring a family in advance to remove the dog I would definitely quit. Trust me
Empathy is totally foreign to you isn't it?
Or is this spiteful goadyness about someone you know nothing about, have never met, and has done nothing to you how you get your kicks?

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 23:11

The dog is in another room ffs. Id understand if even a friendly dog was around them there might be a problem if they were scared,but the dog is put away!

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:11

You've still not explained how anything you have said in this thread helps the OP?

We get it you hate people who don't like dogs, you think they are benth you for having a phobia. But how does any of this help the op?

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:12

The dog is in another room ffs. Id understand if even a friendly dog was around them there might be a problem if they were scared,but the dog is put away!

We know, we have read the thread...

so the op should.... do what?

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 23:13

Nah not as spiteful as the fucking little mutt comments etc ive read.
Sw might be lovely but jesus shes milking the dog phobia

KacieB · 30/01/2016 23:13

Well let the OP give it a chance first! The SW might be just fine with "locked firmly in a crate" as opposed to "clawing and barking at some flimsy door".

carmen I hope you show more empathy in your healthcare work than you have here. and that I'm never one of your patients

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:13

Please answer without insulting the SW or people with dog phobias.

The SW is scared of the OP's dog, so the OP should.....

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:14

Sw might be lovely but jesus shes milking the dog phobia

And you've milked the attention from this thread.

But once again, realistically:

The SW is scared of the OP's dog, so the OP should.....

Sallystyle · 30/01/2016 23:17

I'm finding it hard to believe she is that scared of dogs. For a start, why would she do a job which means she is around dogs often if her fear is so great she can't even cope with hearing one? Surely, her boss would look down on that?

I also wonder why you didn't mention her extreme fear about hearing the dog when you were talking about him scratching at the door in your OP. I'm wondering if this is a case of you not liking the first lot of replies and then making things worse to make you sound less unreasonable.

If she really is this scared then I don't really think you have many options. Either the dog goes upstairs with a radio on or something or a dog walker takes him. Obviously not having her visit is not a reasonable option and neither is requesting someone else.

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 23:22

I dont know how I can help op. She asked if it was unreasonable to not want to put the dog out. I think its unreasonable, but realistically not everyone loves dogs. Therefore id put the dog out.
However the sw is still stressed. I think its unreasonable that the op has to do more than put the dog out.
The op is an adult. She has said the dog is in another room.
Now.the sw needs to trust her and get on with her job.

The op shouldnt be rearranging her dog walks, buying crates etc
I dont see any further issue?

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 23:26

Kacieb
Do you seriously think people should buy dog crates in case random hp are petrified of dogs.
Seriously if my dd needed sw input and she was dog phobic id reassure dog was safely tucked away and then move on. Surely that really is enough
Im thinking some if the posts on here are a serious wind up

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:27

I dont know how I can help op

Then why are you still on the thread. You said your bit repeatedly.

and repeatedly saying it isn't going to magically find a solution / compromise which is what's needed.

I dont see any further issue?
Good, That's brilliant!
But we all know you think this, the question is why repeatedly say it. Do you wish for everyone to agree with you?

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 23:29

The op didn't ask for dog training help either but it keeps getting rolled out

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:29

Do you seriously think people should buy dog crates in case random hp are petrified of dogs.

You realize Crate training isn't only for when people are scared of dogs right? It is for this instance but there are other reasons.

shutupandshop · 30/01/2016 23:29

Put the dog away.

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:31

The op didn't ask for dog training help either but it keeps getting rolled out

actually...
maybe I should train my dog to feel comfortable shut away on his own for a while.

SauvignonPlonker · 30/01/2016 23:32

It's good manners to have pets out of the room, TV switched off, no smoking etc when a HCP visits.

I'm a HCP & it annoys me no end to arrive at someone's house to a fag-filled room, with the TV blasting out & dogs barking. Unfortunately it happens regularly.

I have no qualms about asking people not to smoke, to turn down the TV, or to remove pets when I am doing a home visit. My NHS trust supports it's staff in doing this - who wants to be stinking of cigarettes all day, or have a dog jumping up on you?

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