AIBU to not breastfeed?

[Stephieee]

DD is yet to arrive, but I never breastfed with DS and my goodness, I was made to feel terrible about it! I've told people that I'm not going to, this time around, but their views haven't changed :(

I don't think pushing anyone to BF is the way to go.

Yanbu. you couldn't pay me enough to ever attempt to breast feed again. tried witg dd2. failed. had no intention of ever trying with dd2. if by some sheer accident there's a dc 3 I'd go straight to ff in a heartbeat. and I'd not give a fuck what anyone thinks.

oh and BTW the one who got the breast milk is the one with the asthma and the eczema.

do what you want. it's formula not heroin

congratulations on the baby

We live in a society where we have access to clean water and can safely sterilise bottles, so formula feeding is fine. No one has the right to tell you what you should do with your body. The important thing is that you feed and care for your baby. How you do that is entirely your business and absolutely no one else's.

There are so many factors which determine outcomes for children in life. Feeding is just a tiny part of it. More important imo is not growing up in poverty, having parents who are emotionally invested in a child's well being etc.

dd1 that should say. I tried witg dd1

Formula is associated with slightly less good health outcomes, not bad parenting. It's just one of many health decisions you will make, there are days when you'll choose a ready meal over home-cooked, watching TV over going out for a walk, etc. You just have to weigh up the pros and cons for your family, of any decision, at any given time.

Yanbu. But you know that really.

itsmeagain1 - my mum didn't breastfeed me/my sister/my brother and we're all fine and same with DS! I just don't want to have the worries that come with it...

I'm lazy and cheap so couldn't be bothered with the expense and faff of FF. Also, MIL told me hideous stories of SIL who was wildly allergic to formula and vomited up every meal, screaming. Poor thing.

People have their reasons.

So who is giving you shit about it?

My sister/MIL/aunt and now DH

Yanbu to make a decision on what you prefer to do.

Yanbu to give two hoots about other people's opinion on this.

Just don't engage with them about it. If they bring it up change the subject or just tell them you aren't willing to discuss it.

I have no intention of bf and dont give a big fat shit what people think

I did that about DS and MIL made the comment: horrible woman you have married...

Well you need to ignore all the comments and avoid your MIL until such time that she can be civil.

yanbu but you know that
you do what you need too.

Honestly , if you'd chosen to BF then somebody different would be giving you a hard time about that. As someone wise on here once said, a mother's place is in the wrong- whatever you do, someone will find a way to criticise.

My DC were breastfed, it was the right choice for us and I would absolutely support any woman choosing to BF her children. You have chosen to FF, that's the right decision for you, you live in a country where it's safe to do so- your decision.

I think you need to ditch the mil and sister rather than the formula feeding!

Wtf has it got to do with them?!

I tried breastfeeding DS for a day and it was hell. Went to FF but felt like such a failure/bad mother.

I then saw DS thrive and develop into a bright, healthy boy and didn't even consider breast feeding DD.

I couldn't give a shiny shit what people thought. It worked for US!

MIL made the comment: horrible woman you have married... Wouldn't be welcome in my house again without an apology.

I agree with Sparkling's advice. Although your dh needs to be told that it is your body and so your choice. You've made your decision so he needs to back you up on it.

I got plenty of criticism for bfing and some of the comments really hurt me at first but after a while I learnt to ignore them. If you have any friends who ff their babies, it helps to have someone that you can laugh about other people's stupid comments with.

I bf with great difficulty and worried endlessly about it. My choice. Yanbu. Do whatever you want. Your body, your choice.

I FF with a perfect prep machine and love it I never BF didn't want to. Its my choice. Do what's best for you. If they ask just say you haven't decided and change the subject

Your MIL just doesn't like you. She's going to criticise your every choice as a matter of course. I know it's easier said than done, but I think you've made enough effort to keep her happy and now just need to disengage. Let your mantra be the MN standard: "No, that doesn't work for me" repeated as often as necessary.