AIBU to not breastfeed?

[Stephieee]

DD is yet to arrive, but I never breastfed with DS and my goodness, I was made to feel terrible about it! I've told people that I'm not going to, this time around, but their views haven't changed :(

[Iggi999]

Wanda, it sounds as if you are saying that the WHO accept that bf isn't that important in developed countries. I had no idea they made such a differentiation, in fact I'm pretty sure they do not. Bf for a minimum for 2 years is what they advise worldwide.

[TheCatsMeow]

Kali well said. I didn't think it would be for me and I was right. There's nothing wrong with choosing to ff as long as it's an educated decision

[AutumnLeavesArePretty]

Kali, I agree. I knew from before children that BF wasn't for me. I am academic enough to know the choices and choose what I feel us best. Just like I did with vaccinations etc.

There are many choices we make for our children that will impact on their futures, feeding is a drop in the ocean compared to other decisions.

[kali110]

coconutpie i disagree, i think there are people trying to make people who don't want to bf, bad by saying they're bu or selfish etc for not even trying.
I think most people know colostrum is a good start for the baby, or that bm is better than formula but mAybe some people have took all that onboard and decided bf is not for them?
Has anyone thought that maybe some people have been abused so Bf may not be for them?
Or maybe they will be going back to work fairly soon after giving birth so think that bf straight away is the best idea so there is no confusion?
Or maybe some people just don't want too!
If i am able to have kids i won't bf.
I know that now and that nothing will change my mind!!
I certainly don't feel guilty for it, but am astounded by others posts!
apparently mn is all for women's rights, just not when it comes to how babies are fed it seems?

[Sillysausage2]

I'm quite shocked at some of the replies here, maybe I'm in a breastfeeding bubble too long.
I bf my first for 5 months before combined feeding, most of it was expressed as I was in s constant state of panic over how much she was getting and was too embarrassed to feed in public.
Now I know better (and this little divil will not take a bottle) I feed everywhere and I'm much more confident with the fact that I am giving my son the best possible start. I know that it is not always possible and some women just can't but I do think we all owe it to our babies to at least try??

[WandaFuca]

I’m surprised that this thread is still going. Let’s have a look at some environmental biology:

Non-human mammalian neonates need the colostrum for immunity because they are typically born in the wild, where they’re not protected very well from all the parasites, etc. Similarly, they need to feed from their mothers because (even in zoos) there’s no effective substitute readily available off the supermarket shelves.

WHO recognises that many humans live in sub-optimal conditions, where there is no uncontaminated water supply. Therefore, bottle feeding is hazardous for many human neonates. Hence the boycott of certain pharma companies that have pushed milk powder in areas with poor water supplies.

The mantra that “breast is best”, in our Western world, with our good environment, our good pre-natal nutrition, our good (monitored) water supply, careful manufacturing of milk powder, doesn’t really apply to us in the same way it applies in other parts of the world. The “best” in our part of the world applies to what works the best for that fourth-trimester unit of the mother and baby. BF is cheap and it’s available on demand, which is great at 2 a.m. when you don’t have to do that complicated thing of making a bottle.

But BF is the worst kind of challenge when you’re post-birth and expected to perform; and the natural weight-loss of a newborn can only be within a certain (often not understood) percentage of birthweight; and there’s little recognition of tongue-tie and what that means; and there’s not much support for women trying to breastfeed with sore nipples.

The “best” isn’t much about our babies, after all. It certainly isn’t about what’s “best” for the mothers.

[TheCatsMeow]

I got one nipple shredded in a couple of days because DS refused to feed from one side it was very painful and part of the reason I didn't like bf (for me not for others)

[DisappointedOne]

My nipples got shredded when I expressed in an airplane toilet. But I guess that was an advantage of EEing - they didn't get shredded during growth spurts or teething!

[TheCatsMeow]

That's something I don't know how people deal with, you must have nipples of steel

[DisappointedOne]

It doesn't usually occur within hours of birth though.

[SalemSaberhagen]

DD once clusterfed for 6 hours of Orange is the new Black. It was a killer.

[CultureSucksDownWords]

Cluster feeding is when your baby wants to feed very frequently, usually in the evening/night, in order to increase your supply to match their higher demand. It therefore usually happens right before a growth spurt.

[SalemSaberhagen]

Constant, constant feeding for hours at a time to build up supply. It's exhausting and painful to start with!

[FlatOnTheHill]

What is 'cluster feeding'

[TheCatsMeow]

I had my own room after the birth so didn't have that, I think post natal wards sound horrible!

[DisappointedOne]

And because of the bloody spinal I was bed bound for 12 hours so couldn't even get away from her.

[DisappointedOne]

Woman opposite me strolled in with her wheelie suitcase at about 10am, changed into a gown, walked to the theatre and came back at 11:10am with her baby.

By 2pm baby was clamped to her boob and stayed her all day. Her husband and kids arrived to see her, and she'd loudly announce to everyone that he was "cluster feeding already!"

There was me with a baby with no hunger and no suck getting nagged by HCPs.

Had nothing to throw at her so I just kept my curtains shut.

[TheCatsMeow]

Ovaries I can remember being opposite a woman being induced who was loudly talking to her relatives about "oh God Id hate to have a c section! What if the needle goes wrong? What if you'd die on the table? Imagine knowing you were dying"

Right as I'd been told the best course of action was probably a cesarean. 1 in 4 women have them, it was a 3 bed room so pretty likely at least 1 would have a cesarean, bloody insensitive IMO

[OvariesBeforeBrovaries]

The woman opposite me in the antenatal ward (I was being induced early for pre eclampsia, she was being induced for being overdue) practically cackled with glee when I told her I didn't want an epidural (squeemish about needles in my back - any other needles I'm fine with but couldn't cope with the thought of the back one!). She told me I was being induced, I'd definitely need an epidural, best to get it in as soon as they put you on the drip etc etc. She'd had her epidural planned the entire pregnancy, which is fair enough - it's important to be comfortable and calm in labour and that was how she chose to do it. Bit of a dick move to try and terrify the first-time mum in the bed opposite you who's having hourly blood pressure observations already, but hey ho.

There was a definite moment of triumph as I walked to the toilet the next morning having had DD, and she was stuck in bed after her epidural. She asked me how horrendous it was and I told her it was great

I decided not to mention the two hours of being stitched up afterwards with no local anaesthetic

[ThirtyNineWeeks]

I like FlatOne's posts

I gave birth on Monday in t'birthing pool

[CauliflowerBalti]

OP, you sound scared to try breastfeeding because of your flat nipples. You don't want to let your baby down, you would rather succeed from the start than try then fail. I totally understand that.

If these are the only reasons, if I was you, I would go and see a breastfeeding counsellor now, quietly, without telling your vile relatives, and just see what the deal is. You're making the decision out of fear and lack of knowledge right now.

I don't care either way how you feed you baby. I just don't want you to get two years down the line and hear or read something about how women with boobs like yours breastfeed and feel regretful. The only person whose feelings matter are yours, so explore the issue and then make your mind up.

[TheCatsMeow]

Disappointed I think some people have strong feelings on it, for me I absolutely didn't want to feel anything at all! I just wanted to lie there and eventually get a baby. Which is what happened!

[TheCatsMeow]

Dixie I've had 3 operations plus lots of minor procedures so I'm pretty fine with anaesthetics. I weirdly react to vaccines though, and hallucinate.

Weird

[DisappointedOne]

Hmm. Interesting views. Thanks.

I planned a home water birth, (very loose birth plan!) but ended up being induced (even though I was in early stages of labour). Was doing great with TENS and gas and air. Had I not been exhausted by 3 nights of no sleep I probably wouldn't have needed anything else. The TENS having to go off because of the trace and being on my back really screwed it up and I ended up with a spinal for a forceps delivery (they prepared for a c-section).

I didn't really think about anything else, except that I wanted to avoid pethadine. I wasn't really anti anything else. Nor did I plan to have every drug possible. There are no medals for either (ditto feeding) so whatever needed doing to get her out safely was okay by me.