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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my baby is absolutely not too old to be breastfeeding

309 replies

NoCapes · 29/01/2016 21:15

I know what you're thinking, this is going to be about somebody breastfeeding a toddler or pre-schooler and there will be a bit of a debate ...
Well, my baby is 12 fucking weeks old! Hmm

Having tea and a scone in M&S cafe this afternoon when an older lady walking past, not realising he was feeding, stopped to coo at him and when she realised he was fucking about and absolutely not feeding feeding she looked disgusted, tutted and walked away saying to her husband (presumably) that "that baby was far too old to be doing that I mean, really!" Causing a few people around to look over and see what I was doing to my baby

I was shocked and alone at the time (mum was in the queue) and I didn't say anything, just sunk into my chair a little bit
Telling DP when I got in and I'm actually ashamed to say that I had a little cry, and now I'm annoyed that I was upset about it
Stupid woman

AIBU to think - what the fuckity fuck, he is absolutely no where near 'too old' and to be really fucking annoyed with myself that I didn't say anything and that I let her upset me?

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teddy1970 · 30/01/2016 22:45

Silly old bat, nothing to do with her or anyone how long you breastfeed your baby, 12 weeks is still tiny BTW!

Coldtoeswarmheart · 30/01/2016 22:47

Ignore, OP. It's no-one's business but yours.

Maybe worth remembering that you don't see all older babies feeding in public as they get distractable and can't settle to feed so well on a cafe chair. I fed mine til 23 and 16 months respectively, but you wouldn't have seen us feeding in public after about 5 months.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 22:48

Dixie
GrinGrinGrin you swerved my question. Ill ask you again as im sure we would all like to know.
Would you have bf him at a table in a packed restaurant at three years old.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 30/01/2016 22:49

Flat - so if you think it's "wrong" to continue feeding past one year, perhaps you should let the WHO know, since their recommendation is to continue for 2 years?

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 22:57

Thumb
These organisations change their recommendations all the time. WHO no different.
No one takes any notice of that. If people dont BF its no big deal.
All im saying is that feeding toddler is not necessary. If its about comforting then there are other ways. Its ridiculous. I bet most of the ones on here that BF after 2 years only do it at home as they would be too embarrassed when out. Because they know its not the norm.

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 23:01

PirateJones you live in Africa? Where there is terrible famine.

No he had calcium deficiency when he came to live with me 5 years ago. Tablets worked but i certainly considered Breastmilk, if you've got a child who fractured his toes whenever he feel over you do whatever you can to help.

Original poster
NoCapes · 30/01/2016 23:20

Tbh I'm shocked at some of the attitudes towards breastfeeding
I really thought it was more accepted these days to do it in public and to do it longer
This is the first time I've been successful in breastfeeding (developed mastitis when DS1 was a couple of weeks old so had to stop and had PND after DD and just couldn't/didn't want to) so I haven't had to deal with many opinions on it before, but I genuinely thought these days people were probably the most accepting they ever have been
Obviously I was wrong
I actually think it's really sad

OP posts:
boatrace30 · 30/01/2016 23:20

Currently feeding 8month old DD, planning to stop around 14months purely to make TTC DC2 easier as no AFs yet. But have no issue with toddlers being fed... And they do NEED calcium - so why not get it from human milk rather than a cow? Don't understand why this is deemed so wrong. Nor why comforting child with it is bad. It will always calm my DD and dreading not being able to use it to calm her when she is upset.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 23:21

Pirate
At that age he would gave done well on cows milk for calcium
I do hope he is ok now Thanks

BathshebaDarkstone · 30/01/2016 23:25

The best comment I had was from my aunt, when I said I'd try to bf until DS was 2: "But you will give him solids as well, won't you?" He'd been on solids for 3 months by then! Hmm

Outaboutnowt · 30/01/2016 23:27

flat you are being extremely narrow minded.
Why should any mother feel they need to hide or be embarrassed when feeding whatever age their DC.

5madthings · 30/01/2016 23:27

Why the fuck would the breast milk of a cow be seen as a better option to human milk?! Always baffled by this, too old for human breast milk but Ok to have cow breast milk.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 23:29

Boatrace.
All of your points are good and valid.
My point is that a 3 year old does not need a nipple for comforting.
There are many other ways, hugs, teddies etc etc
They also do not need to BF at that age. A balanced diet at 3'will give a child all it needs. Your DD is very young. You say you are stopping at 14 months. Try a few months nearer the time to comfort her with other things if you are worried. She will soon get used to it.

5madthings · 30/01/2016 23:29

bathsheba when ds2 fed during a hospital app as a toddler the paediatrician we were seeing got all flustered and said he should be on solids by now...

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 23:33

Outabout
Mothers should NOT feel embarrassed when breastfeeding their babies in public.
Its breastfeeding toddlers in public that is not necessary. 3 years and above is not necessary. How about some decorum.

Iggi999 · 30/01/2016 23:34

Flat, I hope you have nothing in your life that you don't need
The problem with your attempted argument is that you are assuming there is something bad about breastfeeding, hence if at all possible we should substitute a different kind of milk (cow's) and a different kind of comfort (not nipples oh no). But I reject the hidden premise that bfing is undesirable.
If people on the thread do not want to bf toddlers in public it is surely largely down to fear of being accidentally in the company of people with your nasty attitude.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 30/01/2016 23:36

What has decorum got to do with bfeeding in public, even if it is a toddler?

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 23:37

5MadThings
You say about the paediatrician.

You see its not necessary. Even a paediatrician confirmed it.

Glad you mentioned this 5madthings

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 23:40

Iggi
Go back and read my posts. I breast fed. There is nothing wrong with breast feeding.
What I am against is breast feeding toddlers that dont need breast milk.
But the whole thing is about the mothers needs.

SoupDragon · 30/01/2016 23:41

Always baffled by this, too old for human breast milk but Ok to have cow breast milk.

It's utterly bonkers isn't it? I can only imagine that some people are too dim to see that cows milk is breast milk designed for baby cows.

Iggi999 · 30/01/2016 23:41

The paediatrician was a fool and an arse.
Not as big a fool as you though Flat for agreeing with him, when he was wrongly assuming the dc was not on solids!

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