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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish I had slept around a bit

139 replies

Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/01/2016 14:11

That's is really
Married 10 years, DH is my one and only sex wise and I am his.
Met quite young and did some heavy petting with others boys but never the full deed.
I love DH but can't help thinking I have never really had great mind blowing sex and now never will.
Anyone else feel this way

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Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/01/2016 14:12

He is ok and knows where everything goes Grin
But I never come away thinking wow the earth moved

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FaFoutis · 28/01/2016 14:13

YANBU
I did and I'm glad I did. Not for the mind blowing business (although there was some), but because I'll never wonder what else is out there.

skippy67 · 28/01/2016 14:17

Same here. DH is the only man I've had sex with (although I have, ahem, done other things with other people before we got together). I wish I'd put it about a bit before settling down.

Needaninsight · 28/01/2016 14:17

There's not really much else out there. Um. Actually, I lie! Yep, some pretty awesome experiences along the way! All out of my system now though.

And this is why my Mum told me never ever to marry a boy I'd met in my teens/early 20's and why I'll be telling my daughter the same.

On the plus side, you won't have any awful regrets like I do either! Swings/roundabouts. I would imagine it's quite common to feel this way though once the 'honeymoon' phase has settled right down.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/01/2016 14:17

Can it really be how is it in the films FaFoutis?
Blame it on being brought up a good little Catholic Girl and Catholic sex education.
I came so close one to a one night stand, We had gone back to his and he really did know how to touch a women and I chickened out. Blast

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harryhausen · 28/01/2016 14:18

Yanbu. I met DH when I was 25. He wasn't my first, but I definitely didn't appreciate the fact that I was young, free and single when I was. I just didn't have my shit together, was very unconfident and generally hung around with gay friends. If I'd have known my dh would be my dh I wish I'd met him few years later iyswim.

Dh was a late starter and had only had a few gf's before we met. I wish he'd had more to build up his own experience and confidence.

A crystal ball would have been nice.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 28/01/2016 14:19

No yabu I think it's only natural to he curious if you have only been with one person.

I got together with my DH really young but we were on and off for first four years. Then after we had my dd we split for about two years and I was with a few other guys in relationships one being eleven months. Every one of them just confirmed for me that my DH was the one. We have been back together eight years and have a great relationship. I'm so glad we had time apart. It must be hard but it would probabky be a disappointment. Its much better with someone you are in love with.

Regarding mind blowing sex, take the bulls by the horns. Have yous experimented loads to see what you like? It's probably only in the past two years wev really started having amazing sex after doing loads of different experimenting.

TwllBach · 28/01/2016 14:20

Yanbu. Current DP isn't my first he's my third and I'm 28. He's older than me and has been around the block a bit... Every now and then I do catch myself wishing I had had a bit more fun!

harryhausen · 28/01/2016 14:20

Wanted to add we're both in out mid to late 40's now. Things are fine, but yes I do wish for some wild passionate sex!

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/01/2016 14:20

Maybe I will just have to concentrate on DHs technique.

How do you tell a husband that in bed he is not the greatest!!! He says I am amazing and I can tell he means it but I did some serious research after we got together in how to please a man and make him howl. (Not practical research of course)

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gabsdot · 28/01/2016 14:22

Try working on your current sex life. No reason why it can't be mind blowing. I recommend lubricant and a vibrating ring.

Poshsausage · 28/01/2016 14:23

Sigh ... Memories

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/01/2016 14:23

I also wish DH has been around the block and few times and learnt something. I met him when he was 24 and when he said he was a virgin I nearly fainted. He was and still is very good looking and had a hell of a body back then (not to bad now) He had had girlfriends but nothing that went that far.

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ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 28/01/2016 14:24

You don't need to tell him he's rubbish. What does he needs to improve on?

VenusInFauxFurs · 28/01/2016 14:25

Can't you have wild and passionate sex with your husband?

(Currently single and putting it about a bit.)

hollieberrie · 28/01/2016 14:26

I've slept around a fair bit! And had many a fling with exciting partners who were amazing in bed but unfaithful / serial heart breakers. Fun at the time but not exactly fulfilling.

Now I long for a kind, faithful partner and a stable loving relationship. It's all swings and roundabouts I reckon - grass is always a bit greener. If you have a happy relationship then imo that is something amazing which no amount of wild sex could compare to.

liz70 · 28/01/2016 14:26

I see where you're coming from. 45 here, DH first and only, met at 24, love life not terribly exciting.

I don't wish I'd slept around though, as I really am a bit iffy/squeamish about physical intimacy with random people.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/01/2016 14:26

Prob TMI but He has never given me oral sex either Sadnow I am glad to say I have done that a few times before we met. He says he doesn't fancy it and I would need to be totally bare down there for him to do it. I have fully shaved and hair removed a few times (he says to much stubble) but never waxed. I have fibromyalgia and as a consequence feel pain a lot more then normal.

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springscoming · 28/01/2016 14:27

YADNBU. Sad

liz70 · 28/01/2016 14:29

I was also DH's first (he was also 24 when we met.)

peggyundercrackers · 28/01/2016 14:30

but yes I do wish for some wild passionate sex!

It's within your capability now though - take the bull by the horns and show him what you want or point him in the right direction. He isn't a mind reader...

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/01/2016 14:30

Just in his favour he is a great husband, so supportive, loving and gives me complements all the time, does housework, works hard, great with DS, but just a bit lacking OK a lot lacking the the sex department.
I just wish he would say something like "I need to fuck you now". throw me on the floor and well you can prob guess the rest Grin
It more of a when we are in bed he says "come on top of me" and I do all the hard work.

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BillBrysonsBeard · 28/01/2016 14:32

harryhausen I could have written your post except my DP had always had a girlfriend since he was 14 and so feels he got it out of his system, which I'm glad of and kinda wish I'd done the same.
BUT if I had slept with the men who I really liked instead of chickening out at the last minute and then backing off, I would have ended up in a relationship with them. And then probably not met DP.
I do sometimes wonder though.. I was 23 when I met him and feel like I'm missing out sometimes. But not enough to cheat or split because I adore him. It's natural to wonder! Many people who have slept around have told me they wish they hadn't, so it's a bit of grass is greener syndrome.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 28/01/2016 14:35

I'd say he needs to up his game a bit. How much do you actually love him though if you were contemplating a one night stand with someone else?

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/01/2016 14:36

I have tried to show him, tell him. I have tried to introduce sex toys, fantasy play, sex outdoors, even bloody porn.

Sigh- I guess I feel we are an old couple before our time. I don't think it helps that his parents of totally prudes and pasted it onto him. He sex education was a book left on his bed.
There is a guy at work that has made it very clear he would be interested. Now want to make it clear I would never never never ever do anything about this and risk hurting my family and have made this very very clear to him as well. Doest stop me having some naughty thoughts though.

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