To not want to go to a wedding when the invite has one of those stupid money beging poems in it

[bloated1977]

Apparently they think shopping is a pain so we can gratefully give them cash or cheques. AIBU to actually buy them a present?

Mackerel why would they squirm? If i was asked that i'd ask why you were making out to charity? then what would you say?

im of the opinion you dont ask you dont get. Or worse, you get a load of possibly expensive but nonetheless unwanted useless tat. Id rather people didnt waste their money. But in my social circle (must be common i guess) no one would bat an eyelid at cash requests. Must be hard tho, being offended at such trivial things.

First, I've saved your poem. Never know when it might come in handy. I'll contact you to discuss royalties if I want to use it. In the meantime, I'll just look at it every so often and laugh. Thanks.

im of the opinion you dont ask you dont get.

Well at least you are honest about using a wedding as an excuse for gouging your family and "friends".

Not all of us consider the shakedown of family and friends for cash to fund our lifestyle as a trivial thing. Dignity, good taste and gracious no-strings-attached hosting are more important to some people than "if you don't ask, you don't get."

harrasseddotcom Because they'd have to reply something along the lines of 'no, don't make it out to charity, make it out to us' which makes them sound like twats.

If you asked why I was making it out to charity I would say 'oh, your poem implied you had everything you needed, have I misunderstood?'

We have everything we need
But even so, it's funny
That we are so consumed with greed
We'd like some of your money.
It's costing you a lot of bucks
To attend our special day
But frankly we don't give a fuck
We want more anyway.
So put your great big wad of cash
Into our "Wishing Well"
So we can go on honeymoon
And you can go to hell.

No matter how it's worded, this is how cash requests come across to me. It's begging and awful. Of course it's common practice now, and in RL I just give the cash, and would never comment, but this is what I really think.

I like it dammit

Sums it up perfectly, dammit!

YABU as I heard of one couple who ended up with 15 vases.

One couples was good though as you could chip into excursions on their honeymoon. etc which would be about what you might spend on a present.

Yes exactly BreakingDad that was what I was coming on to say.

People that ask for cash are saying that because they know people will bring gifts whatever, so it might as well be something useful or that they are saving for and why not the honeymoon?! Call me crazy, I actually want to give my friends something lovely for their weddings as I'm happy for them!

So yes why not say 'we don't need anything but cash would be wonderful' rather than get dozens of photo frames, bottles of wine, toasters and twee home furnishings adorned with 'Mr & Mrs'.

Bathtime but the wedding isn't about you. Why can't you see that? It's not that you don't matter, but your views on the wedding don't matter. It's not your wedding.

shade exactly

mackerel then i guess id have to reply that yes we do have everything we need. but if you insist on giving a gift please just give us cash/cheque towards honeymoon/future purchase etc. again i will ask, why would you write out a cheque to charity.

harsssed because some people like being awkward for the sKe of it

By the same token, CatsMeow; your views don't matter either...
The wedding isn't about any of except the op, but we all have our own opinions (some right and some definitely wrong )

I have everything I need but give me cash anyway to use for future purchases. Where is the class or dignity in that? Really?

You meaning the general you as wedding guests. The guests views don't matter.

Some of you deliberately take posts out of context.

harsssed because some people like being awkward for the sKe of it

Or maybe people would rather do that than give cash which to them is 'grabby' so would rather give the money to charity.

Nothing to do with being awkward.

Private why are you posting just to start an argument? That's really childish. You dislike me fine but don't bring it on to this thread. Grow up.

Bubbles getting in a huff because someone asked for what they actually would like is a bit mean spirited.

Why do people pretend that they put these poems in to avoid getting lots of shite gifts?

If you don't mention gifts in your invitation (like a greedy, mannerless oik might) people will almost all give you cash.

They don't need instructions.

The reason for the note is not to be helpful, it's to make sure they don't come empty handed.

A handy reminder right in the invitation that you are expected to pay to attend.

I wouldn't say don't matter, exactly, though? Sure, it's the B & G's day but as they love to say on here "it's an invitation, not a summons".
If I find something about the impending celebrations distasteful enough to make me look at the couple in a different light, then I'll simply choose not to go.
So what guests think does matter in a roundabout way, I suppose.