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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend some of the kids' Christmas money on a meal out?

339 replies

Happythistime · 27/01/2016 17:34

Can't decide whether this sits right with me or not.

We are thinking of taking the kids to the Rainforest Cafe at the weekend. It is super expensive due to its central London location and themed interior. I want us to go and not wince at the prices and I know the kids will love it so am toying with using a little bit of their Christmas money that they've received from relatives to go towards the bill.

I think that if Christmas money I had given to a child went towards a nice day out, be it a meal or a show or something similar I'd be happy with that. Usually we just put their gift money straight into savings as they have more toys than they need. A bit of me worries though that people would see it as me and DH profiting from their xmas presents. We would obviously pay the bulk of it and only put a bit of their money towards enabling us to go and enjoy it without feeling resentful at the prices. AIBU?

OP posts:
mouldycheesefan · 27/01/2016 20:17

The reviews on tripadvisor are consistent with the feedback here, I.e not good

JustAWeeProblem · 27/01/2016 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustAWeeProblem · 27/01/2016 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LieselMeminger · 27/01/2016 20:26

We are hoping to get a weekend in London with dd later in feb, mainly to see a musical, for her birthday.

Money is tight for us, but I can't see us dipping into dds money to cover some expenses, be it food, activities etc, if dh and I couldn't afford it without resenting prices then it's probably something we wouldn't do.

If dd knew money was an issue she'd happily offer her savings to cover everyone's costs, from the age of about four she's suggested buying takeaways for us all when she's known money was tight, or offering to take me for coffee in costa, or topping up the leccy. Whenever we've had to do this, we give her a bit extra back once we've been paid.

So if we were short for an activity in London, and it's something I know dd would love, I'd borrow it off her and give it back next month. I know this is just me, but I'd feel uncomfortable going "surprise we're taking you here for a treat... But you'll have to pay for etc etc" I wouldn't judge others for doing it though and I'm sure you'll have a lovely weekend. I just couldn't do it
myself, as I know if I'd resent paying the prices, I'd resent dd paying it too.

At those cafe prices though, if we really had to eat there, we'd just buy dd a meal and dh and I would grab something elsewhere, he'd really resent paying £17 for a burger and he'd resent himself even more making dd pay for it, there's no way he would pay that for himself though even if dd insisted she was happy to pay it for herself (she wouldn't btw, she'd prefer a happy meal once out of there haha) he'd grumble the whole time criticising the £17 burger and what the money could have been spent on. Hed be looking at other peoples food and oricing it up in his head and acting all astonished. He thinks the price of a Greggs pasty is a pisstake, he'd go to town complaining about a £17 burger. :)

JeanGenie23 · 27/01/2016 20:30

Re fun things to do in London; I suppose it depends on their interest but what about natural history museum? You can also go into butterfly farm next door and have a picnic outside- just as exciting!

Or there are good burger places like five guys dotted all over the place!

Hms Belfast?
London eye; there is a big wood chipped play area behind, loads of places to eat
Leicester Square? See a film, stock up on M&Ms in massive store and then walk up to China town or Covent Garden for food
Trip to hamleys and then walk through to carnaby st for food.
London Zoo? You can take your own grub or just have a picnic in Regent's Park and you can see all the giraffe's anyway!

I think even if you do use some of their Christmas money (I think it's fine) you will still be peeved at prices and shit food!

Katenka · 27/01/2016 20:33

Katenka there's lots of things that children would enjoy that would make parents wince at the price, Alton towers or Lego land for example

but the op said 'I want to go and not wince and the price'

The child hasn't said I want to go. If the child picked Lego or Alton towers and the parents couldn't afford it, but the child really wanted that. Fair enough.

But this is the OPs idea.

As pp said, it's saying 'surprise we are going to RFC but you are paying for yourself'

If my dh or mum said that to me I would be like 'eh how is it a surprise or treat if I am paying for myself'

She wants to go but thinks it's too expensive, so subbing it with the kids money. She and her dh have made the decision that they are going.

To me it's either too expensive or it's not. I have been placed I felt were expensive for what it was. But I knew beforehand and still wanted to go. Just accepted it was going to be pricey.

It doesn't sit right with me.

Katenka · 27/01/2016 20:36

In fact, I have booked a holiday for us. The kids don't know yet.

I can't imagine saying to the kids 'surprise we are going to Cyprus tomorrow.....I took the money out of your bank accounts to pay for your flights'

Everybody is different and lots of people have said they were OK with this.

My opinion isn't more valid than anyone else's, but it's my opinion.

Starbores · 27/01/2016 20:41

I'm not saying you're not entitled to your opinion as you said we are all different.

I just don't see it any different to arranging a day out or ordering a toy I know they would like. I personally think as long as it's benefitting the child then that's fine.

Also if I choose to gift money instead of an actual present I don't feel I have a right to say what it's spent on I'd leave that to their parents.

MistressMerryWeather · 27/01/2016 20:43

If my dh or mum said that to me I would be like 'eh how is it a surprise or treat if I am paying for myself'

They are 6 and 3. They don't give a shite. :o

HormonalHeap · 27/01/2016 20:44

The children aren't old enough to make a decisions on how they want to spend their money. I wouldn't dream of taking my small kids out and making them pay for it! Just go somewhere you can afford!

whois · 27/01/2016 20:46

As pp said, it's saying 'surprise we are going to RFC but you are paying for yourself'

Not really - it's surprise, we're going to FRC and it was a Christmas pressie from [x] and [x].

LeaLeander · 27/01/2016 20:48

Not really - it's surprise, we're going to FRC and it was a Christmas pressie from [x] and [x].*

^^Exactly. We are talking a toddler and a barely school-age child, not raiding someone's education fund to take the family to Spain.

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 27/01/2016 20:52

yes exactly. It's like instead of asking the parents to choose a toy or something for them to buy for the children; they gave the money and asked the parents to use it to buy a gift for the children that they knew they'd like, which could be a toy or an experience or whatever.

In fact, some people might think it's a better present that way, because it's still a surprise for the children, which is maybe more gift-like to them.

Gattabianca · 27/01/2016 20:54

We went to RFC at the weekend. My 3 yo loved it. I loved it because he didn't moan about anything for a whole 2 hours he was happy. Smile

There were lots of adults eating there without children. Why??

Hulababy · 27/01/2016 20:54

Agree with pp

It's a case of 'Surprise, we going to RFC. It's a gift from x and y.'

As said before - so much better than sticking it in a bank account.

A 3y and a 6y will much prefer a trip to RFC than looking at it in a bank book.

DragonRojo · 27/01/2016 20:56

You would not go to the RFC without the children, so really it is a treat for them not you. On that basis, I would do it. My son loved it when he was that age. Sometimes we would even go for just a drink at the "bar" rather than a full meal. Would that be an option for you?

caitlinohara · 27/01/2016 20:59

I get the whole 'experiences' rather than 'toys' thing, I really do, but what 3 year old really enjoys eating out? If it's part of a day out you should give them the option - "you can choose, boat trip or London Eye or ?"

Hulababy · 27/01/2016 21:00

I suspect you'd have had less criticism has you just said

Were going to have a treat day out using the children's Christmas money - taking our children in a day trip to London by train to see the sights, visit NHM, go to RFC, go to Hamleys.

Or xxx have sent money for our children to have a treat in London.

Hulababy · 27/01/2016 21:01

We took Dd to RFC at 2 in Florida and she loved it. She's always enjoyed eating out. Many children do ime.

chandelierswinging · 27/01/2016 21:03

I'm in the spend-it camp. Take a pic of the DCs at the RFC and send it to the lovely folk who gave them the money to say thank you. I'd love to think that money I'd sent was spent on a treat.

FWIW, I was really disappointed by the RFC when we went last year... but the DCs loved it. It's def an experience for them.

Katenka · 27/01/2016 21:08

They are 6 and 3. They don't give a shite. :o

Ah I see you know them

Muskateersmummy · 27/01/2016 21:08

I think it's because it's not just eating out, it's at a themed place the 3 and 6 year old would enjoy ...

My 3 year old loves eating out, gets very excited about going to "the pasta place" ....

MrsHathaway · 27/01/2016 21:09

Oh they'd love the boat trip and that's a much clearer spend.

ItchyArmpits · 27/01/2016 21:14

YANBU. But I would go to Wahaca.

justnippingin · 27/01/2016 21:28

It doesn't sit right with me, this is a treat for all of you, which in my opinion should be funded by you.

I'd not do it.

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