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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend some of the kids' Christmas money on a meal out?

339 replies

Happythistime · 27/01/2016 17:34

Can't decide whether this sits right with me or not.

We are thinking of taking the kids to the Rainforest Cafe at the weekend. It is super expensive due to its central London location and themed interior. I want us to go and not wince at the prices and I know the kids will love it so am toying with using a little bit of their Christmas money that they've received from relatives to go towards the bill.

I think that if Christmas money I had given to a child went towards a nice day out, be it a meal or a show or something similar I'd be happy with that. Usually we just put their gift money straight into savings as they have more toys than they need. A bit of me worries though that people would see it as me and DH profiting from their xmas presents. We would obviously pay the bulk of it and only put a bit of their money towards enabling us to go and enjoy it without feeling resentful at the prices. AIBU?

OP posts:
clarkeologist · 27/01/2016 21:31

My 3 year old does enjoy eating out and of course we would stress that we were having a special meal because of Christmas gifts from aunties.

I really wish I hadn't asked now though Confused! Some people are very judgemental Hmm. That's AIBU for you though Grin. I think I might just run it past the money givers and see what they say. Or forget the whole thing and the dc will be oblivious to their close shave with the RFC.

Marniasmum · 27/01/2016 21:33

I agree that if you want to give your family a treat, then you pay for it!
If they don't want anything at the moment then put the money in the bank til they do! they are a bit young for hobbies now, but in a few years it will be a different story and hobbies don't come cheap!

clarkeologist · 27/01/2016 21:36

And I imagine when I start a thread in a few years time about whether it is ok to use Dcs money for their hobbies it would also be meet with howls of outrage from some! I

MegBusset · 27/01/2016 21:38

I think YA totally NBU! I'm sure the givers would be happy that their money is being spent on a lovely family activity - I know I would be. Hope you have a great time.

Muskateersmummy · 27/01/2016 21:39

I think you are probably right Clarke! Do what you feel comfortable with. Your monkeys, your circus xx

Starbores · 27/01/2016 21:47

I think many on here would want you not to use the money for anything and just take your dc to the bank to look at their balance every month Grin

Just go for it op

clarkeologist · 27/01/2016 21:50

Thanks Starbores, and everyone else too for your views

justnippingin · 27/01/2016 21:51

oh dear, you did ask....

clarkeologist · 27/01/2016 21:51

Thanks too to the people that posted the voucher earlier Wine

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/01/2016 22:15

"If you did that with money I'd given you, I would definitely cross you off my list"

God, that is sooo controlling, do you realise? It actually sounds nasty too. I would be glad to be off your list and be free of the angst over how your precious gift should be spent without offending you.

MissBattleaxe · 27/01/2016 22:19

Agree with Curly. If you're that prescriptive about where a cash gift is going, give them a voucher.

If I handed money over I'd be equally happy if the parents spent it on toy, savings, fancy dress or a nice memory or event.

Kids do remember stuff. We took my son on holiday when he was 3 and he can still remember bits of it, and every holiday since, so its not wasted if you use it for the kind of meal that's like a family outing rather than just a dinner in a cafe.

GruntledOne · 27/01/2016 22:20

I wouldn't do this. When my children are given money, my view is that it's theirs to do what they want with; it's not for me to decide how they're going to spend it. If they're too young to work that out, I'd either put it into their savings or get them something I know they want. If that meant we couldn't afford to go to the Rainforest Café, no problem, there are plenty of other things to do.

mumeeee · 27/01/2016 22:45

YANBU. You are only using a small proportion of their money to go somewhere you think they'll enjoy.
By the way some adults still like RFC and all the animals. I actually took DD2 there as part of her 18th birthday treat. She was into animals and loved it. She also loved the food and she could be very fussy with food at the time

whois · 27/01/2016 22:46

'd either put it into their savings or get them something I know they want.

You're exactly on the same page as the OP. She know they will like a trip to the RFC. No different to buying some plastic tat that will be forgotten about in 3 days.

LeaLeander · 27/01/2016 23:10

Exactly. The last thing most households need is another "thing," kids included. A gift of experience is fine.

SoThatHappened · 27/01/2016 23:29

I went there for a christmas work dinner once. Fine waste of money. The food really isnt that good for the money.

Also at 3 & 6 years old, the most they could manage is the childrens menu, which is basic pasta, burger, chicken nuggets at a cost of £12.75 or £15.95 if you pay for the activity pack too.

It just isnt that good and do you have to dip into their funds for that amount of money or are their contributions going to help fund the adults food too which is far more expensive?

www.therainforestcafe.co.uk/pdfs/RFC_KidsMenu.pdf

ScrabbleScream · 27/01/2016 23:43

It depends OP

Is this going to be like a once and once only type of trip/you may go again in another 10 years- or is it something you will do frequently?

If its going to be a one off experience, and its something your kids will enjoy- i wouldnt have a problem with it. But if you are doing it for yourself/you go frequently and can go in the future when you have a bit more money then maybe id feel differently.

No idea where the rainforest cafe is but you could always de tour to Hamleys and buy them something there

SoThatHappened · 27/01/2016 23:49

Oooh someone mentioned Wahaca...the food is awesome there.

Take them on the London Eye for an amazing treat and take loads of photos and then somewhere like Wahaca.

www.wahaca.co.uk/assets/Wahaca_kidsmenu_Oct2015.pdf

You can tell them this is a present from xyz. Great day out.

RFC is just over prized boring food.

SoThatHappened · 27/01/2016 23:49

*priced not prized

DramaQueenofHighCs · 28/01/2016 00:01

Well at the moment a lot of DS's christmas money is being spent on Lego Dimentions characters. We all play the game so.... (DH and I are buying some ourselves too I hasten to add) Plus we've put money towards family theatre trips before out of his money.

Go for it, you are still using it for them after all!

DramaQueenofHighCs · 28/01/2016 00:04

Just looked at the prices!! Shock

I retract what I said its a total waste of money!! £15 for a kids baked potato, drink and icecream!!! Shock We don't even pay that for the adult equivalent where I live!!!

SoThatHappened · 28/01/2016 00:11

Yup the food is utter shite at RFC. The adults isnt much better. Its just crappy American style food, burgers, ribs, etc.

Wahaca is £5.25 per child and the food their is good. Choice of quesadilla or tacos and a drink.

SoThatHappened · 28/01/2016 00:17

the food *there is good. Stupid phone

Grapejuicerocks · 28/01/2016 00:58

Take them on the London Eye for an amazing treat and take loads of photos and then somewhere like Wahaca

See that wouldn't have been an amazing treat for mine at that age. They were bored on the Eye when we went. I predicted they'd be bored but took them because we wanted to go. I was right. Obviously we didn't use their money.

The experience at the RFC would have been their idea of heaven. It's a pity I didn't think to use their money to take them there; they would have loved it.

Kids are different and what would be a good idea for some, wouldn't be for others.

HicDraconis · 28/01/2016 01:39

I wouldn't feel right using Christmas money given to the children for food, whether that be a special meal out or the usual weekly shop. It's my responsibility to provide the basics for my boys and that includes feeding them.

I wouldn't mind if a relative gave me money for them for Christmas with the request to take them out and treat them to a meal, but otherwise it's their money to spend on whatever they like. Usually they spend half on something like Lego, or Skylanders characters, and the other half goes in their piggy bank so they can treat themselves to things during the year if they want to.

I don't let them buy books or sheet music with their gift money either, that's something else which is my responsibility to provide if they need them or want them.

I didn't take my two to RFC when we spent a week in London, it looked tediously overpriced and shabby from the doorway. We went to Giraffe on the south bank instead.