To not go to DPs sisters wedding?!

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Ok I already know I am being unreasonable, it's DPs sister, but I reeeeeeally don't want to go!

I don't like weddings anyway, but I'm especially dreading this one. His sister is just awful, acts like a spoilt princess at the best of times but is now the bridezilla from hell!

If we visit his parents and she is there, we can't mention buying our house or she gets cross that we aren't focused on her wedding, and yesterday when his mum started asking me about any ideas we've had for our wedding, she gave me the most awful look and loudly announced that there would only be her wedding this year so her mum should be focusing on that, not another one that isn't booked yet! I didn't want to tall about our bloody wedding, getting married is something me and DP will do but I am really not arsed about wedding planning and it will be very, very low key, so I resent being looked at as some awful thunder-stealer! Herr attitude whenever the conversation is about anything other than her wedding is just truly grim.

On top of this, I hate the way I look and we are buying a new house as we speak, so money is tight so I'm stressing about my outfit and what I'm going to wear. She said that she expects her guests to wear designer outfits as anything cheaper would ruin her day and the photographs

I have already managed to get out of the 3, yes 3, hen parties, but my DP really wants me to go with him to the wedding and take the children so I don't feel like I can say no.

Although she had never been directly hostile to me, I get the distinct impression that she really doesn't like me, probably as we are so different, and I feel as though I won't measure up on the day,and she'll mock me for my outfit etc.

Would it be unreasonable of me to contract food poisoning so I can't go?! only half joking

All "outfits" are designer...they are all designed..well. by designers. Does she actually mean she has an approved list of retailers..or brands ..or styles..or actual designers names, or are diffusion ranges acceptable....?

Oh I would have to go to this, with a camera ...and a notepad.... And probably a gag..

Oops sorry didn't flip last page there..how wierdly x posty considering the time difference...

If you have to arrive three hours early, see if the vicar could fit your wedding in on the same day?

Oh that's just genius. Your DH should suggest that he'll ask the vicar just that if he has to be there for 11. You have your kids, you're all dressed up. You just need two witnesses

Could you imagine her face......

Go to the wedding but change the timing of your visits to his parents so she isn't there. Maybe your husband could phone his parents and discuss that you'd like to see them without her as you're fed up with not being able to talk about anything else but weddings.
Your wedding outfits are your choice. 3 hours before the wedding is mad and she should be told this and your husband tell her to find someone else if she isn't happy with when he turns up. Tell her to concentrate on her own stuffand stop micromanaging other people.

I didn't go to my Sil's wedding and I do not regret it for a second.

The woman was a highly controlling perfectionist, self obsessed and bitchy at the best of times but her wedding brought all that to another level.

There were many things before I said enough, including her and her mother giving us hell about everything they thought was not up to standard at our wedding (both before, during and after the event itself).

The months before her wedding she really out did herself with stupid expectations, but what broke the camels back was that DS had an array of severe food allergies (it is very difficult to cook for him) but she insisted she didn't want DS' plate to ruin the "looks" of the children table, and wouldn't have it any other way. We offered to cook something similar, get the kitchen staff to put it in hotel plates but she refused. So I said I was not coming and neither was DS.

It served her right, people talked more about our absence than all the paraphernalia she put together for her perfect wedding.

Do I regret it? Not a bit, the action put some much needed boundaries in place. Interestingly I get along with her much betther than with her brother nowadays.

If no matter what you do, you are going to get out hurt from that wedding, not going is your right. Being a bride doesn't give a right to be an arse.

So she expected him to eat the food despite the allergies? Wouldn't the ambulance and resulting drama have spoils the day rather more than a single mismatched children's meal? Stupid woman.

tread 😂 Amazing! Can you imagine?!

Tiger, jeez she puts my SIL to shame, what a cow! I definitely wouldn't have gone either, you did the right thing. Interesting that it made your relationship better and not worse!

Designer outfit from eBay?

Or perhaps a big white ball gown?

My experience of mega bridezillas is that they don't enjoy their wedding day anyhow. The expectation of perfection and trying to control every aspect, including other people like your SIL, just isn't realistic and she will be in total meltdown if anything goes slightly wrong.

My friend was a mega bridezilla, she had a big lavish wedding at a country house. All was perfect until during the speeches her elderly FIL called her by her DHs ex girlfriends name Poor man didn't even realise but she cried for the rest of the day. Two years of planning and fuss and her day was ruined.

Naff as that is, I'd try to go as a non-bridal party, of course steering clear of the forbidden colours and not really matching, but complimenting iyswim. You in two colours maybe, each of the kids wears one of them maybe?

That's a nice idea pax! I'll see what's around when we start looking for dresses.

she I can totally see SIL doing this, the pressure she is putting on herself and everyone else to make her (not their) perfect day, is immense.

Why do some brides do this to themselves?! Surely weddings are about making a commitment to each other, then a fun party with those that are important to you afterwards? I just can't imagine getting like this! In fact, I'm so disinterested in this kind of stuff that I've told MIL she can plan our wedding when it comes to it, just tell me where and when and I'll be there! 😂

No Grape, she wanted the chef to cook something similar for him, even when I clearly pointed out that the chef was not an expert in the dietary needs of my son and we couldn't expect the kitchen staff and waiters to take such level of care and precauitions when they were so busy to serve dinner to another 150 guests.

Anyhow, there was a breakdown in communication for a time, but eventually we went through it. I think they know now that if they choose to be difficult with me, they are not going to be abke to push me to follow what they dictate.

Tell me, What. What's to be her 'grand finale'. Is it a mass release of doves, being carried off on white unicorns or what?

l don't know cozie but there has to be something, guaranteed!! I hope it's something fantastically naff for our amusement!

It's ironic how bridezillas want the perfect weeding and obviously want to be the centre of attention, but if you alienate your guests, their memories of the wedding will be nothing to do with how spectacular it was.

It doesn't matter how much they spend on a wedding dress, people will just say "remember that wedding where we all had to wear pale taupe for the photos?" or "remember that wedding that cost us 2k to attend and we didn't eat til 6pm?"

Exactly Battleaxe. Most guests will remember if they had a good time with plenty of food and wine. I barely remember the colour of the guests' outfits or the colour of the sugared almonds or any of the other guff. They will also remember that the bride was a massive PITA, not that she was 'princess for the day' or how beautiful she looked!

"Most guests will remember if they had a good time with plenty of food and wine. I barely remember the colour of the guests' outfits or the colour of the sugared almonds or any of the other guff."

This is true of my cousin's wedding. It was a fabulous day. Great food, plenty of drink, fantastic weather and a wonderful, friendly atmosphere. I can't remember what everyone wore and my cousin's wife was not at all the prima donna bridezilla.

Ooooh ecited to know if there will be pigeon lobbing and/or a dead insect release.

You MUST let us know how it goes on the day. It is the law.

Buy the most hideous white dress from a charity shop you can find.
Wear it with the biggest hat you can find.
Stand at the front of every photo grinning.