to ask about bills split?

[Violenza]

Hello everyone,

I have been with my fiancé for 7yrs, we rent at the moment and split bills 50/50.

We are aiming to buy a house this summer.

We talked earlier and sort of made rough plans with regards to paying the mortgage. The mortgage will possibly be £1400 PCM, our rent is £575.

I earn £4/5000 a month, I'm self employed and my earnings are continually increasing each year. My partner earns £1900 a month, not likely to increase much, he gets a £6k bonus each year.

My AIBU is, I'm concerned about contributing so much more and the implications should we separate. We sort of said I would pay £900, him £500, split the rest of the bills.

Normally I wouldn't car but we have been 50/50 from the start at his insistence, when he was earning £1900 and I was at Uni and starting my business and had hardly any money due to redundancy. I'm a bit bitter about it still, and also worried I'm not protecting myself as much as I should. I've found him to be a little grabby in the past if he can get away with it, like forgetting to send me half shopping money until I remind him. He also spends a lot on stuff for himself, so isn't poor at all.

Also, he is an only child and will inherit his mums house one day, whereas my parents have messed things up and won't have anything to pass down. I feel like it would be unfair if I paid nearly twice as much on the house and then say he got an inheritance and didn't put it towards the house?

Can anyone help? Sorry it's long.

You wouldn't be lonely if he hadn't wrecked your friendships and family relationships!

Why are you insistent on wasting the best years of your life on a man who is utterly contemptuous of you and only interested in your money?

Oh good god OP get out get out! What an awful shit he sounds. Please don't buy a house with this man. Sod the money, you need to get out to protect yourself from an abusive relationship!

This is such a worrying thread.

Op do you realise if you had a child together and you were the higher earner he could manipulate the situation by you having to pay him maintenance if you then split up? I fear for any child you may have. Would you trust him to be kind and thoughtful to you and your child? Would he be a good role model? Would his mum be kind and supportive ?

Think ahead op! Would you be providing your child with a loving and stable home life if you stayed with him? Could you trust him to get up in the night, look after you if you were unwell?

I think he feels emasculated by your success and feels the need to bring you down to make himself feel more empowered. You are in denial and in fantasy land.

You don't want to listen to the unanimous Mn voices because it would be like admittting defeat. This is so tragic.

He has done a fantastic job of ruining your life and running your life so that you don't want anyone else but him. Have you ever looked up sociopathic behaviour op? Might be a good idea to look it up just so that you can rule it out if nothing else! He is certainly unbalanced.

Oh violent a...don't do it.

Haven't read the full thread but this guy doesn't deserve you.

Now youve seen it black and white ...run...run for the hills!

I was married to a misogynistic man...yes I never knew when his inner prick would reveal itself. I've never heard that expression but oh so very true.

Luckily he palmed himself off onto another woman leaving me to find a lovely man who would never treat me badly.

The difference is truly amazing and I've had more happiness in these seven years than I ever had with my first husband.

Btw...I was quite blind sided...my ex was a very generous man...only with his money ..I now think I was being compensated for the many affairs / prostitutes he had.

Mi e had sociopathic tendencies as well. We were married 33 years!

Here's another one...he hated my dad! My dad could see him for what he was! That's why!