formula

[Emma2506]

Ok so I don't want to turn this into a whole ff vs bf war but I find it highly offensive to ff mums who can't collect advantage points/clubcard points, shops aren't allowed to have any offers on etc for formula. I understand it's the LAW but why is it acceptable to have deals on alcohol yet ff mums are penalised for choosing to ff or not being able physically able to bf? I know the excuse is shops promote breast feeding but I'm struggling to get my head around why a bf mum would buy formula just because it's on offer if she is doing well bf and it's FREE!

I was told that giving my daughter formula was equivalent to feeding her junk food and told I didn't try hard enough.... So yep bf'ers do judge ff's

That said I know that my bf mummies have also been judged and shamed and made to feel awful.

Wouldn't life be nicer if we all supported more and judged less?!

What smug wanksocks. Sounds less like bf support and more like insulting formula. I can't stand mummies martyrdom like "no happy mum happy baby, happy baby happy mum" vom, let me get my tiny violin

I get my nails manicured every month as well as ff I'm clearly an arsehole

A lot of bf mums do judge ff mums, openly so sometimes but more often snidely and implicitly

Yep, a lot of people are total arseholes looking for reasons to behave like arseholes.

Spot on Jassy.

Most breastfeeding support groups on Facebook are lovely. But yes, you get arse holes everywhere.

The Yummy Mummy one sounds abysmal. And sadly there are women who love to tear other women down. Pity it's private, it would be good fodder for Sanctimommy.

That said, there has to be a line between shit like that and abusing women who FF, and women getting abuse for saying that they were proud of their achievement for breastfeeding after a tough start.

That's the trouble with the NHS stuff, isn't it? While it's a sensible campaign aimed at a sensible outcome, it's taking place in a field where people seem to get such joy from tearing each other apart, and is interpreted accordingly.

That said, there has to be a line between shit like that and abusing women who FF, and women getting abuse for saying that they were proud of their achievement for breastfeeding after a tough start.

Completely agree, I would never begrudge anyone feeling proud of bf. I feel proud I managed to give my son colostrum and bf for a short period of time despite not enjoying it and finding it painful. I think carrying on bf after a tough start is wonderful.

What I really dislike is women who found it easy who look down on those who didn't. "It was easy for me what's your problem" types.

I think you're right about the NHS, it's not the campaign that's the issue but that some people enjoy being arses about it

What I really dislike is women who found it easy who look down on those who didn't. "It was easy for me what's your problem" types.

If it's any consolation those people tend to be awful to those who BF or mix feed who didn't find it straightforward, too.

Yeah I've seen that as well Jassy and I find it really unpleasant.

I had a similar thing when I was pregnant, one woman kept saying I was being precious because I wouldn't travel more than 20 mins from the hospital from about 30 weeks and she worked right up until she gave birth. She ignored that I'd been put on house rest and told I could go into labour at any time

I think for some reason, pregnancy and babies brings out people's judgyness and some will just piss on others sandcastles.

It's this endless list isn't it -

Whether you have kids
How easy you find it to conceive
How many kids you have
How much you follow dos and donts in pregnancy
How you give birth
If you use pain relief
How you feed
How you wean FFS
How you carry baby around

That's all I've got to as mine is only 3 months yet- every one of these have competing approaches and judgements

Unfortunately there's more to come focus - when you go back to work, which childcare you choose, when you potty train, how long you keep a dummy for, state vs private school (DD is two in April and I've already had people asking me what school she'll be going to!), how long you let them have a pushchair for, whether you do lots of wholesome crafty activities with them, what they eat... It's endless!

Ovaries

How long do people usually have their children in pushchairs for? It's occurred to me I have no idea, my baby is 7 months so it's very much a day to day item at the moment.

And the great SAHM/WOHM fiasco, where so many people feel they can only validate their choices by denigrating others'.

Alis - if you listen to some on MN, anything after 2 is tantamount to child abuse. These people tend to get around a lot by car. We used it for the regular 25 minute nursery run until after 3, and occasionally for days out in eg central London until about 3.5.

Already encountering some hatred for working mums from near quarters. Been told women who have ambitions shouldn't have children. Thank fuck my own family and DH value me and my aspirations because otherwise I'd cry into a heap on the floor still might

focus

I had a member of my husbands family tell me when I was pregnant that "women who have children and work full time should be charged with neglect".

Given how this particular sahm (she's a good 30 years older than me) raised her children, I'll take my chances working full time and raising my child. I couldn't possibly do a worse job than she has.

Pushchair until they can walk longer distances without getting tired and/or when they are reliable at holding hands and not bolting into the road. It's slow, you sort of start out not taking it for short walks and then the trips you don't need it for get longer and more frequent until you realise you're just using it as a shopping trolley.

To those with little babirs, it does get better. I feel like once they get to about 4 the mummy wars seem to mostly be done with. You don't feel like you're being judged or that every decision is an agonising thing any more.