formula

[Emma2506]

Ok so I don't want to turn this into a whole ff vs bf war but I find it highly offensive to ff mums who can't collect advantage points/clubcard points, shops aren't allowed to have any offers on etc for formula. I understand it's the LAW but why is it acceptable to have deals on alcohol yet ff mums are penalised for choosing to ff or not being able physically able to bf? I know the excuse is shops promote breast feeding but I'm struggling to get my head around why a bf mum would buy formula just because it's on offer if she is doing well bf and it's FREE!

Running that's quite an achievement. Sounds as though sheer determination got you through.

I think mini is talking crap to prove a point but in any case you can't compare reading and maths to breastfeeding. You don't have to do reading or maths at sometimes hourly intervals, or get up during the night to do it, it doesn't hurt you physically or leak from your body and your child (probably) won't scream and scream at you if you don't do it it doesn't have to be just the mother and only the mother who does it day in and day out.

Running, flipping heck woman. You deserve a medal. Much of your experience really resonated with me (flat nipples, clueless midwives, baby who didn't know how to latch) but thankfully we managed to get some good advice and DS1 was feeding OK by about 3 weeks - enough to regain some of the weight, anyway. I was in tears because I felt like a failure - because all my friends breastfed their kids, and I had no idea why I couldn't figure out this thing that looked so simple on YouTube and where I'd read up so much of the theory.

I take my hat off to you.

Wow running. I wish I had had the courage and determination that you did ! Xxx

I agree washed.

About time priorities were changed imvho.

Which priorities?

Change4Life isn't exactly a low-budget, low-profile campaign...

Thanks so much to those who've said kind things. It means a lot, really.

Jassy - that's just how I felt too. Why was this infant clawing at my massive nipple nothing like the babies on YouTube videos and in the leaflets?
And why do all the books just tell you to "carry on trying to latch until it works" - not much good if it doesn't work for months, eh.

"You don't have to do reading or maths at sometimes hourly intervals, or get up during the night to do it, it doesn't hurt you physically or leak from your body and your child (probably) won't scream and scream at you if you don't do it it doesn't have to be just the mother and only the mother who does it day in and day out."

I did 5 years of it across three children, of which 15 months of it were exclusive, while also working, having two children in nappies and caring for an autistic child, so I understand what breastfeeding is like.

I'd take that over making my children do homework any day.

I would LOVE someone to do an academic study of women's narratives around breastfeeding. I wonder if you hear anywhere near as many tales of woe and catastrophic horror in cultures where either a) breastfeeding is common and normal or b) women don't feel they need a cast iron reason for not doing it.

It's interesting - the more we find about the benefits of breastfeeding, the more dramatic the breastfeeding horror narratives become.

Jassy

Force was probably too strong but manipulate, influence, talk into...I don't like anything that tries to push people into one direction as opposed to giving impartial factual info.

As for why couldn't I ask, at the time I was dealing with a pregnancy with horrible complications and I was more concerned about my baby which at that time I didn't even know if I would get one, to ask about ff (or bf). I just feel the NHS shouldn't push an agenda

See that winds me up, its patronising and treating people like children (the make every contact thing). It's like you're a school child being told off.

I'm very happy for higher taxes in general but I'm a huge socialist so I have a feeling that is a different issue.

Giving advice is fine, but when someone hasn't asked for it or has said they don't want it that's not okay IMHO

"I just feel the NHS shouldn't push an agenda"

What, you mean the NHS shouldn't do any health promotion?

Or just shouldn't promote breastfeeding? because lots of women don't want to do it

it really plays into the broader discourse around pregnancy and birth where what is good for the mother is automatically treated as secondary
You've worded what I was trying to say earlier when someone said I was incredibly selfish for allowing my personal preference to influence feeding choice

mini I've already said, I think the NHS should give the info, but if people say they don't want it/they've made their decision that's that.

The every contact thing Jassy mentioned is wrong IMO

Mini, maybe people are just more able discuss their experiences now? Mine wasn't good, and I'm not going to hide that. I would imagine people still have horror stories but don't feel they have other options.

I think the NHS should give the info, but if people say they don't want it/they've made their decision that's that.

That is what they do.

OhShutUpThomas they don't though, they try to encourage you to bf throughout your pregnancy regardless of what you've said

Giving advice is fine, but when someone hasn't asked for it or has said they don't want it that's not okay IMHO

But on that basis, why would they have given you info about FF, when it's not equally good on a population level?

OhShutUpThomas they don't though, they try to encourage you to bf throughout your pregnancy regardless of what you've said

The bastards.

What's all this 'BF horror story' bollocks? I fucking swear I would have given anything to not have a 'horror story' so you can pusa off with your thinly vieled digs that we somehow wanted this to happen to us so we don't have to BF!

Jassy because if they are going to give info out I don't think it's fair to be one sided. Id rather it be like this

"Have you thought about how you want to feed your baby? Here's a leaflet on bf"
"I want to ff/I haven't decided what to do"
"Okay, heres some info on both. Keep an open mind, we do recommend bf but can also offer support with ff if that is your preference."

I don't see what is wrong with that. I don't think they're bastards lol I just think they're pushy.

I don't understand how some of you separate individual choice either. You care at a population level but the population is made of individuals so how can you not care about individual choice? Maybe I'm being thick but I don't get that

Shant obviously no ones allowed to talk about their experience with bf unless it fits the idea they want to be promoted

You're not really getting it Cats, however many people say it, are you?

why hasn't the op returned to such a topical thread that she knew must be begun on AIBU despite being so new to Mumsnet?

Anyway. There is a thread like this each week. The same points are made. A similar selection of people come on. Many lurk not knowing what is there left to say. The thread ends with nobody's opinions change. Next week another thread begin sand quickly becomes about BF vs FF.

OhShutUpThomas neither are you. You think people who don't want to bf are either uneducated or selfish.

Do you feel this way about other things? Parents who put their child in their own room? Parents who use a buggy? Parents who use jars instead of homemade food? I'm curious, as you seem to think unless you want to pick the statistically best option all the time, you are either uneducated or selfish.

Breastfeeding horror story? Really? No it's just people's experiences.

There are women around on the feeding boards who've had horrendous times breastfeeding but struggled on. Others felt they couldn't. Some people don't even want to try.

People don't make up stories so that they don't have to breastfeed. I've known plenty of women who didn't even consider breastfeeding and made no apologies.

What on earth makes you think women make up horror stories so that they don't have to breastfeed?

Just because you did it mini doesn't mean others people's experiences are nonsense.