This mum is totally unreasonable isn't she? Help me word a reply!

[WaitrosePigeon]

My son went to his friends house for a play and tea yesterday. They are both 5. They went to a local soft play.

I went to pick my son up and the husband was there, all good. Had a great time.

I text the mum to say thank you etc and I had this reply...

'No problem! They had a great time at soft play and then they had some dinner there. It came to £10.00. You can give me the money at the gates tomorrow. Have a nice evening! X'

Erm what the fuck? Is that normal? What do I do?

Did she offer you money when you went to Lego?

Just say that then, politely and with a smile on your face (takes the sting out)

You are going to have to keep seeing this woman after all.

Awful reply.

I'd Pay and stay away

She didn't offer anything re Legoland. He had spending money of £5..

Our children will be there until they are 11. She's got two older children there and everyone knows her so I hope this doesn't cause problems for me. Shall I reply saying I hope I didn't offend? Fucks sake.

She's a taker.

You can put her on your shit list and remember this for future reference.

I don't think there will be any get togethers after this, what do you think

Don't reply and apologise, you've done nothing wrong.

Why on earth would she think that you should pay to take her kid to Legoland?

That literally makes no sense.

I would be so tempted to text back "Ha ha, just like the money troubles you had when I took your kid to Legoland! Glad to hear things are better for you"

But I wouldn't really do it

I wouldn't text, I'd try and speak to her face to face and just explain you were a bit surprised and ask her if it was normal? She might have the good grace to be embarrassed and she might also then have the chance to explain - maybe her husband got cross with her spending lots of money taking other people's kids out, or something and she felt guilty so asked for the money? Don't know! But you should definitely talk about it tactfully if you feel it's weird and awkward. Otherwise she might not get it and then be terribly hurt which would be a shame.

I think I would say that I was just a little surprised as you have often taken their DS out and never asked for money and that you did not realise that you were expected to pay as they offered to take him out. But stress that you don't want to make an issue of it, it's obviously just a misunderstanding.

I have taken DD's friend to the zoo, cinema, local animal farms, and even on holiday and never once asked for money. her mum usually gives her spending money for a day out which is great, but I never ask for money for food or entrance.

Cannot believe that reply!! What a bitch!!!!

I wouldn't reply-have a face to face chat. Tone and expression get lost in text messages and you're risking this turning into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

When you see her just explain you were trying to establish that if you're taking each other's children out to places that cost money you'd prefer to decide that in advance. Say you don't want things to be awkward between you and hope you can put it behind you. If she's reasonable it should be fine.

I'm in one of those moods

Her text reply to you was fucking awful, so:

"I was aware of the soft play but not the meal. Can I just deduct it from what you owe for Legoland and the two trips to MacDonalds then? Or shall we call it quits and just let the boys be friends?"

Masswhosive brass neck on her!

Agree purple

She has more front than Blackpool!
I would just pay up and put it down to experience, then avoid/decline any future playdates without thinking up an excuse.

Please send SouthWesterlyWinds' text. Might as well go down in flames. Cheeky cow. She doesn't have the moral high ground here.

I would reply stating the cost of what the dinner cost when you took her child, and if it is less, state you have one more to make it up, and would he like to come over next week. If it's the same, tell her it's about quits.
Tell her you didn't ask for money as you didn't think it was the done thing, so in future could she ask before taking your dc somewhere where costs are involved.

I was aware of the soft play but not the meal. Can I just deduct it from what you owe for Legoland and the two trips to MacDonalds then? Or shall we call it quits and just let the boys be friends?

Yes i'd do this too!!!

"Next time you should decline . If you're struggling for money,"
but she chose to take him out. From what I gather you just thought your little one was going there for tea and to play. How could decline when you had no idea, he was being taken out.

To be honest I'd reply along the lines of
'in future I will don't worry. Case of crossed wires I got the wrong end of the stick with you not mentioning money before hand, plus the times I've taken xxxx out with us and not been reinbursed. No worries I'll bring the money tonight. Thanks again for having him'
I'd then quietly move her onto my shit list and not arrange anything with her again. Cheeky cow.

Wow, what a bitch! She is a taker. I would not have anything to do with her again.

The sensible thing to do is just pay up and don't reply to text...

Me personally I would speak face to face and just say, If you expect me to pay for my ds when you take him out why have I not had any money from you when I've taken your dc out? She will no doubt back track and say you never asked, then reply saying, Lets draw a line and agree in future to pay for each others dc when we take them out... and never offer.

I agree with Purple, more texts will just make this worse. Have a chat with her and explain you thought it was soft play only and you hadn't realised she would be buying dinner out.

If she's still snotty about it I probably would mention you've paid out for her child previously and not asked to be reimbursed, followed by something like 'maybe we need to make an agreement for future activities.'

Ok. £10?! I doubt. I would ask for legoland money.