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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

This mum is totally unreasonable isn't she? Help me word a reply!

540 replies

WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 10:32

My son went to his friends house for a play and tea yesterday. They are both 5. They went to a local soft play.

I went to pick my son up and the husband was there, all good. Had a great time.

I text the mum to say thank you etc and I had this reply...

'No problem! They had a great time at soft play and then they had some dinner there. It came to £10.00. You can give me the money at the gates tomorrow. Have a nice evening! X'

Erm what the fuck? Is that normal? What do I do?

OP posts:
ForeverLivingMyArse · 22/01/2016 19:30

I just wanted to get as much as I could from her to be honest

How pathetic.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 22/01/2016 19:34

Well, your choice of course, but it seems a bit sad that your DC will now miss out on playing with his friend other than at school, due to adults behaving like this. It's a bit childish, surely?

Neither of you have come out of this particularly well, to be honest.

ForeverLivingMyArse · 22/01/2016 19:43

I agree purple.

katmunchkin · 22/01/2016 20:02

So despite apologising, but still accepting your money, she hasn't offered money for Legoland etc?!

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 22/01/2016 20:11

I don't really care what other people think of me. The air is clear and that's all I wanted Brew

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 22/01/2016 20:18

I find this v strange.

Is she your friend or not?! Why were you arranging to walk dogs together and have coffee, if not?

She brought flowers and everything, but you're still planning on not having your kids play together.

I don't understand why you did the dog-walking/ hugging/ coffee & cake thing, if you want no further friendship with her. That's not 'clearing the air'. Confused

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 22/01/2016 20:24

I'm sure we will resume our usual meet ups and play dates just not for the next few months. This side of her has obviously soured my grapes a bit.

The child has a birthday party next weekend that my DS will still be going to so they will see each other then.

If I had done nothing about this situation people would have called me a pushover (they did, mug I think) and taking action people think I'm an arsehole not that I care of course can't win really! We ended things on a great note today and everything is sorted now Smile

OP posts:
Leelu6 · 22/01/2016 20:31

OP, don't listen to the weirdos, you did well. You earned that Brew

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 22/01/2016 20:37

Thanks duck Chocolate

OP posts:
purplepandas · 22/01/2016 20:44

Slow in getting to this but I think you handled this well. I love your coffee shop purchases!

Merguez · 22/01/2016 20:56

What a lot of unpleasantness on this thread.

Worst of Mumsnet.

kennyp · 22/01/2016 21:00

it all went tits up but you ended up with a £5 slice of carrot cake.

hate it when those sort of situations get out of hand. i hate hate hate soft play more than anything and have never taken my kids to one unless it was a party or something like that. and to have to pay for it as an afterthought would really get my back up too so im glad it's sorted and if it's now a stalemate between you guys and those guys then that's not actually the biggest biggy in the history of biggy world.

glad all okay

AmIbeingTreasonable · 22/01/2016 21:01

But why is she not paying you for legoland etc Confused

fastdaytears · 22/01/2016 21:01

Jealous of the carrot cake

dustarr73 · 22/01/2016 23:12

Op you're not the one taking the piss.If you feel you cleared the air that's all that matters.
You have had your eyes opened and that can only be a good thing.
You gave her the tenner,got cake its a win win.
Her not so much as she has fucked it for her DC for being grabby.Her loss

rainbowstardrops · 23/01/2016 07:29

Exactly what dustarr said.

You did nothing wrong Smile

Roussette · 23/01/2016 08:02

But friends shouldn't score points off each other. I would have accepted the apology and forgotten it after that. It sometimes takes a lot to apologise (and flowers etc) when things are tricky. Yes she was an arse asking for the money but once she'd said she was sorry for being ridiculous, I would have moved on and I would have taken that as not having to pay the £10 or try and get that back in cake!

MataHairy · 23/01/2016 08:08

Roussette yes the friend apologised for asking for money but then took the money anyway. That would undo the apology in my book - who says sorry for an action and then carries it out regardless?

I think you've handled this well OP, it's a tricky situation!

tobysmum77 · 23/01/2016 08:23

Am I the only person who would just have read the text and just given her the tenner? I'd have also made the point of inviting her ds somewhere and paying for him, because we are generous as a family.

tobysmum77 · 23/01/2016 08:26

Her not so much as she has fucked it for her DC for being grabby.Her loss

Its not the child's fault is it, or the op's child's fault if this is their best friend. I think some people are tight, its the way they are.

Roussette · 23/01/2016 08:30

Yes Mata but at that point the OP and her were hugging and making up and maybe OP was pushing the £10 on her which led to her promising to buy coffee and cake next morning.

Following that making up, I would have put it out my mind completely and started afresh.

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 23/01/2016 08:54

For all the moaners I think this has been an example of good Mumsnet advice. If OP had left it and not said anything there would have been a lot of resentment.

Now things are clear and out in the air. Well done OP.Smile

tobysmum77 · 23/01/2016 09:07

If OP had left it and not said anything there would have been a lot of resentment.

Yeah the advice was right for her, personally I just shame tight people with my smiling generosity and find it amusing to take the moral high ground, but we're all different (and for some people a tenner is the money they had to feed the dc for the next 3 days which is a rather different situation). I would have laughed if I'd received that text rather than been annoyed .......

Thymeout · 23/01/2016 11:07

I think cooling the friendship when you've gone through all the hoo-ha of a making up session with flowers and hugs is a bit petty. Surely the point of the coffee session was so she could explain why she'd made the mistake of asking for money. (Some problems with her family?)

Did she do that? Have you come to any agreement about paying in the future? Otherwise, it all seems still to be a bit up in the air.

I agree that if you don't agree with her explanation, I'd be a bit wary in the future.

KoalaDownUnder · 23/01/2016 11:20

That was sort of where I was coming from, thyme.

I don't understand why the OP didn't just hand over the tenner and leave it at that. The coffee thing seems like a waste of time.

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