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Original poster

Pull ups.....go back 20 years.....

227 replies

Janeymoo50 · 19/01/2016 00:32

...or more. Why are so many 3 and 4 year olds in pull ups? I get that there are children with SN, before you all start with my child is this, my child has that. There was a thread recently about bedtime, all kids wore nappies of sorts, until the age of 9, every response said it was normal to have kids in nappies at 6 and over, what the feck is it!!!

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 19/01/2016 00:35

I certainly would have made a much bigger effort potty training DS during the day if I'd had to deal with washing and drying terry nappies like my mum had to do. Dryness at night is nothing to do with training though, your brain needs to mature and make a chemical/ hormone that suppresses urine production at nights.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/01/2016 00:38

20 years ago it was not unusual to have children in pants yet regularly wetting themselves at that age

mumblechum1 · 19/01/2016 00:39

My youngest is 21 and although pull-ups had been invented, we never used them.
Just potty trained him one Easter week when he was 2.5 and he could run around in the garden so accidents didn't matter so much.

He'd cracked it within a week, and was about average age for pt in those days.

ChristineDePisan · 19/01/2016 00:39

Some modern parenting gizmos are undoubtedly gimmicks designed to part nervous, inexperienced parents from their cash. Some are brilliant innovations that make everyone's lives easier, and if they had been round 30 years ago our parents generation would have loved them too.

I know which camp I put pull-ups into, but as with most of these things, I don't really care whether parents use them or not as there is no direct impact on my life and I'm sure I do plenty of things that others would frown at.

Original poster
Janeymoo50 · 19/01/2016 00:39

But four, five and six year olds, no special needs, still in nappies. I bet their parents wouldn't do it if they had to wash them.

OP posts:
PeppasNanna · 19/01/2016 00:44

I had dc in the late 80's & early 90's plus i have a toddler now... (gluton for punishment)

Personally i think it was very much expected with my older kids to potty train them around their second birthday whrreas with my younger children it was more like 3 ish.

Nappies were also relatively more expensive.

I think its just a chabge in parenting a bit like BLW versus purees.

Times change & perspectives & views on child tearing have too

PeppasNanna · 19/01/2016 00:46

Child tearing???Blush rearing of course!

PennyHasNoSurname · 19/01/2016 00:47

20 years ago little kids were getting bollocked off their parents for "pissing the bed" - one friend used to get his face rubbed into it, cause massive massive anxiety issues.

People didnt know back then that without a hormone being present in the body kids simply wouldnt stay drythrough the night.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 19/01/2016 00:48

Delayed toilet training is not a new thing OP. Kids have been bed wetting at an older age for centuries now

The difference is that we don't humiliate them any more.

Many children who are perfectly neurotypical have this issue....my niece did...she needed pull ups till she was 9. She went to the doc about it and they had to scan her and sure enough there was an issue....I can't remember the name of it but a tube inside was too short or at the wrong angle or something and she couldn't help it.

She grew out of it as she developed though.

Other kids have other issues. In the past they'd have to wear nappies or suffer at the hands of adults who thought they were lazy or naughty.

Pull ups are less humiliating for them than nappies.

Is that an explanation you can get with?

PennyHasNoSurname · 19/01/2016 00:49

And once upon a time your kid wasnt allowed to attend Nursery or School if they werent toilet trained.

Nowadays they cant be refused.

browneyedgirl1974 · 19/01/2016 00:49

Ffs I have a 9 year old still in pull ups at night. She also has never pooed in a toilet. She soils her pants daily and than poos at night in her pull up too. She has not been diagnosed with any sn. Pants or pull ups. She doesn't care as she poos in both but at least pull ups halve my workload.
Hate judgy threads like this.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/01/2016 01:00

The difference is that we don't humiliate them any more. I remember kids being humiliated; wetting themselves at night or during school. Never hear about it now.

Thank goodness.

Birdsgottafly · 19/01/2016 01:12

""But four, five and six year olds, no special needs, still in nappies. I bet their parents wouldn't do it if they had to wash them.""

Which shows that Parents are taking the lead from what the child needs, which is the best way to Parent.

My eldest is 30, it was convenience, why we toilet trained, same as getting them out of a pram etc.

I can remember sleeping at friends houses in the 70's and the minging mattresses everyone had. We are also cleaner, these days.

My youngest (18) used pull ups, they worked for her, kept the bed/floor/her clean, so why wouldn't I?

I can remember humiliation being used for a lot of things, as was smacking.

We take a lot more care of our children's Emotional and MH needs, now, thankfully.

Birdsgottafly · 19/01/2016 01:14

Oh and also, in Liverpool, kids would be sent upstairs with a bucket in their rooms, so no toilet dash was needed.

Ah the good old days.

Original poster
Janeymoo50 · 19/01/2016 01:16

Gah... I am not talking about the disabled child etc. What about an articulate, bright child put in an a nappy every night at 6 years old. Dry for 3 years.

OP posts:
milkmilklemonade12 · 19/01/2016 01:18

20 years ago it was not unusual to have children in pants yet regularly wetting themselves at that age

This is so true. At my school, you'd get one or two kids most days coming out with their knickers in a little fruit poly bag and a little note. This was mid 90's. Children might be potty training later, but there are no children in my DS' class still in pull ups; I think that's rarer than you imagine. Children can often be quite big for their age as well; you might see a child in pull ups and think they're 3 but they could easily be 2. So if you see a child in one, unless you know their age for certain, you can't really judge on sight.

Night time though, that's a hormone isn't it? There isn't a lot you can do if they don't have it, I don't think. Just wait for them to grow up.

And also, I think the washing issue is a bit of a red herring. If a child wets or soils their pull up; you have to dispose of the pull up and wash the child. Not much less work!

My DS potty trained just before he was 2; it's the only thing he ever did early! But I used pull ups at night and during long car journies just in case.

milkmilklemonade12 · 19/01/2016 01:19

janey the night wetting is a hormone. Google it. The pull up prevents them having to have broken sleep when they're in school every day, and having to wake up in soaking wet sheets. I wet the bed until I was 9. I wasn't naughty you know.

Canyouforgiveher · 19/01/2016 01:24

Ffs I have a 9 year old still in pull ups at night. She also has never pooed in a toilet. She soils her pants daily and than poos at night in her pull up too. She has not been diagnosed with any sn. Pants or pull ups. She doesn't care as she poos in both but at least pull ups halve my workload.
Hate judgy threads like this

I had a very late bedwetter (very late indeed) but I didn't think it was "normal" and tried to solve it as best I could. I think it was related to other health issues looking back. If someone had said to me "It shouldn't be considered normal and alright for a 13 year old to wet the bed" I wouldn't have thought it judgmental - it would have been what I thought myself.

I hope your GP is providing you with the right support and help in dealing with your daughter's issues with pooing.

milkmilklemonade12 · 19/01/2016 01:26

It's not considered a problem until ages 7-9; it depends on the doctor you go to. They won't treat before age 5, certainly.

You shouldn't have a 15 year old wetting the bed, no. But then you shouldn't have a 15 year old wetting their underwear either. It's about recognising when to let it pass as a childhood phase, and when to visit the doctor.

But I don't think pull-ups are the cause of the problem, no.

Headmelt · 19/01/2016 01:34

Do you have children op?, If so, what ages?

TheHouseOnTheLane · 19/01/2016 01:42

Janey people have COVERED the NT "articulate child" in pull ups at night.

THEY CAN'T HELP IT!!!

Would you rather they pissed in their beds?

ShhhBeQuiet · 19/01/2016 02:05

My DC are in their early twenties and most of their pals were out of nappies during the day by three. A few still wore them and no one thought anything of it but most were dry.

Some kids wore nappies just at night and a few who did went on to wear them until they were older. -- all perfectly normal

I never knew a single child who was humiliated for wetting their pants - none of my friends would have done that.

I also don't recognize all this talk about kids constantly wetting their pants once they were out of nappies. I'm not saying everyone was completely accident free but it certainly wasn't usual.

The thing that I think some people overlook is that you have to put time and effort into potty training and that it's much, much nicer and more comfortable for your DC to be potty trained. Everyone seems so keen to teach them other skills but reluctant to teach them how to use a potty.

I know it's difficult with some kids so I don't judge however I think that there must be some parents that are just being lazy.

My 4 DC were out of nappies between 2years 6 months and 3 years. They wet the bed occasionally at first but it wasn't often.

I didn't use reward stickers or anything like that. I just told them they couldn't use nappies anymore and went for it. I gave them loads to drink so they could get used to needing a pee and kept asking them if they needed the potty or toilet. It's not rocket science and doesn't happen instantaneously but it's not difficult. I suspect a lot of parents leave it too late. Sometimes it's easier to get a younger kid to do things.

I think the younger ones were encouraged by the older ones.

ShhhBeQuiet · 19/01/2016 02:11

BTW I wouldn't assume kids who are older and still in nappies are not NT my first thought would be that they have a physical problem that makes it tricky to know when the need the toilet.

My kids nursery (overseas) didn't allow kids with nappies so I know that most of my kids pals were dry and were dry by 3'ish

Millionsmom · 19/01/2016 02:13

I would've loved pull-ups. My DS1 wet the bed til he was 14 and the daily grind, waking to sodden stinking sheets was soul destroying. If they'd have been around - or even had the advice to put him back on nappies - life would've been so much simpler. As a family we could've enjoyed our very rare short caravan holidays - every place had to have a launderette, we had to take an air bed for him to sleep as as we didn't want any bed he slept on be destroyed. We never had 'sleepovers', even his siblings who didn't wet the bed didn't, he never went to any cub/scout camp. It effects your life so much in ways you can't even imagine.

Don't judge others so harshly OP, it's not out of laziness the DC are in nappies/pull ups.