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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pull ups.....go back 20 years.....

227 replies

Janeymoo50 · 19/01/2016 00:32

...or more. Why are so many 3 and 4 year olds in pull ups? I get that there are children with SN, before you all start with my child is this, my child has that. There was a thread recently about bedtime, all kids wore nappies of sorts, until the age of 9, every response said it was normal to have kids in nappies at 6 and over, what the feck is it!!!

OP posts:
janethegirl2 · 19/01/2016 21:29

If there are incontinence pants for the elderly I'm sure you will be able to order them online in adult sizes.
Maybe suggest a new market for Pampers Grin

GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 19/01/2016 21:32

Had too much vino tonight? A deep sleeper when drunk? Here have our pissed up, pull ups available in small, medium and large. Wake up hungover but dry Grin

Owllady · 19/01/2016 21:32

My mil (who I do get on with-she's a nice woman) had perfect children who never wet the bed, were dry by 9 months etc etc etc
However, having been involved in their family for more than twenty years, they have more skeletons in their closet than the Adams family and nothing negative is ever talked to about.
So
I don't believe it.
:o
The shame of a bedwetter would be unbelievable. Having nits or worms would mean closing the curtains and weeping for a week.

I'd like to think I'm a bit more realistic and less judgemental about things I don't have any experience (unfortunately I have extensive experience of continence issues, spanning two decades or more)

Aeroflotgirl · 19/01/2016 21:32

Well janey thank god for pyjama pants. Makes it a hell of a lot easier for parents and less humiliating for the child. Potty training is hard enough, let alone judgement being levelled at us. Yes I believe, the ability to be fully potty trained is developmental, like walking and talking, those still in pull ups at school tend to be those with SN or undiagnosed SN.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/01/2016 21:35

Tena even make nappies for grown ups, seen it in the feminine products section in Waitrose, ooh the shame!

Jasonandyawegunorts · 19/01/2016 21:36

Tena and molicare do nappies for adults

Owllady · 19/01/2016 21:38

Loads of companies do continence products for adults! They are aimed at children/ adults with continence problems. Something that obviously never happens in some people's worlds.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/01/2016 21:41

Ds us 1 week shy of his 4 th birthday and not yet fully potty trained. He goes to the toilet too late, in nursery they only want him in pull ups, at home pants. He has a 1.5 tear developmental delay speech and lanhuage delay and possible dyspraxia. We have been at it for 10 months and I'm tearing my hair out.

eleanorofaquitaine · 19/01/2016 21:53

It's probably pointless me posting anything as I don't think the OP will change her view... I am the mother of a highly articulate, confident and intelligent young boy of 10 (yes, TEN!! I can imagine the pursed lips already) He potty trained very quickly at 2.5 years and has been dry in the day since then. He, however, needs pyjama pants at night. It is called nocturnal eneuresis, he is under the care of a specialist and medications currently do not work; the alarm has yet to be successful. It is a developmental, hormonal issue and he is also a very deep sleeper. The situation does not prevent him from going on sleepovers, school trips etc because he is not ashamed, he knows that it is a physical issue not behavioural, and he is able to manage the situation discretely. He is not the smelly, pissy kid - he is the funny, kind and popular boy that everyone loves to be with. Yeah - pullups .... go back 20 years and he would be a social pariah.

PirateJones · 19/01/2016 21:54

Aeroflotgirl i know it's easier to say rather than do, but please relax and try not to panic. Threads like this are so fucking horrible to read when you are actually in this situation aren't they. all this judging and belittling or the hard work we put in.

Most of the time nasty fucking posters get off on that kind of thing.

Your DS will get there, trust me, take it a step at a time and please don't rush it.

mudandmayhem01 · 19/01/2016 21:55

My ds wore cloth nappies in the day, toilet trained at 2.2. Still uses medication for sleepovers at 10,no longer wears pull ups as he is only wetting occasionally now and he finds them uncomfortable. In my experience cloth nappies does seem to encourage early day time training. Night time is just waiting for the hormones to kick in.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/01/2016 21:58

I know pirate, I think the op of this thread started it to have a good old judge, because her ever so perfect children were, speaking fluently at 1 year, and potty trained at 18 months and she just wanted to have a good old gloat. Funnily enough, my dd8 who has ASD and dev delay was potty trained fully just after she turned 3, it just clicked, for ds it has not yet.

mudandmayhem01 · 19/01/2016 22:02

Eleanor, have you tried upping the dose of desmopressin( with doctors permission) didn't work on 2 mg, gave him a double dose works every time. Sounds like your son like mine deals with it really well. We could have really fucked up our kids if we were luke the op!

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 19/01/2016 22:11

Hang on in there aeroflot - you'll get there.

eleanorofaquitaine · 19/01/2016 22:12

Mud, the specialist has been really good and has prescribed a regime that increases the dose over a period of weeks and combines with the other tablet that I can't remember right now. He also said that for sleepovers we could try doubling the dose but it didn't work. It breaks my heart but we are going to try the alarm again soon. I also recommend the ERIC website for support and they have some really helpful bedding products.

mudandmayhem01 · 19/01/2016 22:29

Eleanor, my ds has had a lot more dry nights recently, so fingers crossed for your boy too. The main thing is getting them through this psychologically unscarred. It makes want to cry how children were punished and humiliated over bed wetting in the past. Read some horrible tales ( maybe from Dahl's autobiography) about poor little boys at boarding school in the past.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/01/2016 08:17

Hope so like. I think op was just wanting to stir the pot and run, where is she! Usually those starting school in nappies have some form of SN, so her dig is really directed at those with SN.

ArmfulOfRoses · 20/01/2016 09:20

I can't quite remember now, but I think the alarm took the best part of a month to work for ds who was not far off 8 when we tried.
The first couple of weeks were awful, the noise and vibration wouldn't wake him up so I'd be trying to wake him too.
Then the clean up and change and back to bed, but then all of a sudden we realised it had been a week without it going off so we tried just pyjamas in bed.
I was so nervous for him and a year later still remind him to pee before bed every single night.

All of your dc will get there Flowers

SatsukiKusakabe · 20/01/2016 09:49

I think it's really nice how this has turned into such a supportive thread with people dispelling myths and sharing advice, completely the opposite of the original tone Flowers

Aeroflotgirl · 20/01/2016 11:04

I totally agree Satsuki, Op started this thread to judge, and it is great that it has become a supportive thread. Where is she now! Do you think I like seeing ds in nappies, when all his other little friends are in pants, do you think op its easy in nappies, because you still have to clean them up, but they are bigger. I would much rather ds be in pants and able to self toilet, that is the ideal.

x2boys · 20/01/2016 11:56

Especially when they are trying to run away AeroflotGrin ds is six in may and still in nappies it's certainly not easier changing an older child.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/01/2016 12:00

It isen't 2boys, double the work, and he does his dead body thing when I try and take him to the toilet. He will flop so it is difficult to pick him up, he goes on his terms, not mine.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/01/2016 12:39

Actually, its lazy parenting to get a child to to their personal care themselves, so you don't have to do any cleaning up and washing of poo covered bottoms anymore. Having a pre schooler in a nappy is not easy at all, it is bloody hard work.

milkmilklemonade12 · 20/01/2016 14:15

aeroflot hang in there, it will happen Flowers

And I completely agree with the PP about how this thread has turned out so nicely, when it was started out as a nasty, mean, gloating thread. An adult being horrible about the abilities and hormonal maturities of children. It makes as much sense as replacing 'bed wetting' with 'reading' on the OP. As a parent, you can try your best for your kids and work with them every day, but if they don't get it, they don't get it. But eventually, they will get there (disabilities aside).

Aeroflotgirl · 20/01/2016 14:55

Thanks milk, I totally agree, though he is in nappies in nursery (they take him to the toilet regularly), i put him straight into pants when we are home, and makes and effort to get himself to the toilet and wee in it, but does not recognise the feeling that he needs to go until later, so even though he wees in the potty, some have made his pants wet. But I am ecstatic that he's making that effort himself, instead of me taking him every half hour.