Cheer up love

[sofiahelin1]

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh !!!
Haven't had that comment in years, just walking down the street minding my own business, not in a bad mood.
Wish I'd thought of something to say back
Was with my ds12 and told him never to say that to a woman, should of said it louder

Pisses me off something chronic. Last bloke who told me that, I spun around and asked them if they would say it to a man. They spluttered a bit then said no, and I walked off. Obviously have a vibe about me as hasn't happened since

He was just being nice!

Can't people be nice anymore?

What offended you? The cheer up or the love part?

A bloke said it to me once. I told him that a close relative had just died (they hadn't) and then enjoyed seeing his face drop

It's about the least "nice" thing you.can possibly say to a stranger. Always seems to be men saying it to women, in my experience. Sorry my face isn't pleasing enough for you to look at, now fuck off.

It's sexist Dizzy

It implies that women are there to look nice and be cheerful and grateful that some random bloke has noticed them

Women have feelings, we're not there to be pleasant wallpaper for blokes.

Why do they feel the need to comment? They don't know you or your life? I have resting bitch face - its my natural disposition.

Well ive always seen it as a man trying to be nice to woman.
My grandad says it all the time and he means it in the nicest way possible

Next time people are going to say that a man holding a door open for a woman is sexist because it implies I can't do it myself

He was just being nice!

Being nice is leaving strangers in peace as they walk down the street.

Women aren't performing seals put there for the pleasure/benefit of men's aesthetic sensibilities.

Some random man said that to mum just after she had left my 3 year old sister dead in hospital, no-one knows why someone is looking sad and sometimes it is better to offer nothing more than a smile.

If you don't get it Dizzy then it's too hard to explain

No go ahead and explain
I get that sometimes comments are not needed and there is a reason why people look upset or just have resting bitch face but everyone goes on about how people should care for other humans and a simple thing like this is met with scorn and hatred because a man said "cheer up love" to a woman. What if a woman had said it to another woman? Would it matter then?

Being nice is saying good morning, nice day, hello, etc.

Cheer up, or it might never happen, and stuff of that ilk are not 'just being nice.' Especially said by someone e who has no idea if you have a reason to not have a manic grin on your face at any one moment.

Where I come from 'cheer up love' is on par with 'a face like a slapped arse'. Very rude and sexist.

If someone I knew personally thought I looked sad and said, in a sympathetic tone of voice, 'cheer up love', then (assuming that I hadn't just been through a bereavement or similar) I would not see it as sexist or irritating. It might be the start of a conversation about why I was looking down.

But when a complete stranger says to a woman (and it is always a woman on the receiving end) on the street 'cheer up love, it may never happen' or similar, then that is not a sign that they care about other people - they just think women should go around smiling to look pretty for men.

It is horrible and sexist and insensitive - very often people look sad because they have something to feel sad about. Someone shouted this at me not long after DH died.

I don't think a woman would say it to another woman though - or a man to another man for that matter - particularly to a complete stranger. It's the kind of comment men reserve explicitly to comment on the aesthetics of a woman, that's why it's wrong.

What does it even mean? Sick of the number of times i hear this.

I wouldn't have the gall to tell anyone to 'cheer up'. Male or female. I don't take it as a nice comment at all. I take it as 'you look miserable. stop looking miserable'. What business of theirs is it how i 'look'? Maybe i look sad because i AM sad.

If there's any genuine concern for if someone's welfare then 'Are you alright?' is the correct phrase. But that isn't what this is, is it?

Someone said that to me years ago. Little did he know that husband was having an affair with another woman and I was 6 months pregnant with my first baby. I wish I'd had the nerve to vent that at the time. I still remember it as vividly as the day it happened.

Nice??? Wtf

It's fucking annoying. I suffer from resting bitch face too. I usually wasn't unhappy before the comment!! It's not being nice. It's saying "you are not looking cheerful enough for my liking. Put a smile on for me". How about you leave me be. If you are genuinely trying to be nice you could start a conversation, offer help, or just smile nicely.

DizzyDancer
From your comments I can only assume you're a troll or a man.
'Next time people are going to say that a man holding a door open for a woman is sexist because it implies I can't do it myself'

No they're not.

'Cheer Up Love' is rude. Its telling women they have to look nice and happy for everyone elses benefit. All the fucking time.

'Maybe it will be better tomorrow' is nice. But so is keeping your nose out of other peoples sadness.

Grow up, Dizzy. What part of 'I feel entitled to demand that a complete stranger changes the expression on her face, because she's not doing her womanly job of looking pleasant and decorative' is 'nice'?

"Nice" would be stopping to ask if someone is ok as they look sad. Telling them to cheer up says you don't care if or why they are sad, you just want to mock them for not looking all smiley for you. Can you tell I hate this phrase?

I am neither a troll or a man

I am a woman and I have been on mn for a few months under various names.

I genuinely think 9/10 most people don't realise what they are saying and how they are saying. They think they are being nice. My husband can't understand what is wrong with the statement either. He thought it was a way to say what's up and be nice about it.

Some people might not like it, others may use it as an excuse to vent but fine I can see why you don't like it

I may have told this before, but many years ago I was taking a very late train London back to uni. The carriage I got into was full of quite banterish men. I think they were going to collect the papers from Fleet Street or something similar. Any way one of them said the 'Cheer up love' comment and I replied that I had just been to my Aunt's funeral. The shocked look on their faces! After that I was plied with wine, cigarettes and snacks. They were really quite a lovely bunch but I met they never made that comment again. As I said it was many years ago.

This riles me too. My nannas funeral, the wake was held at a nearby hotels function room. I went outside at the wake for a fag, got a bit teary whilst having a think and that. Some bloke who must of been staying at hotel popped out for a fag. He said cheer up love it might never happen. He wished ten times over her never said that! It proper got my back up!

I usually have a moody face, I can be perfectly normal and just look murderous. People say it all the time. I make up stupid stories. I say well yeah it has happened actually, then tell this elaborate story. If I'm at work when it's said, I say "well yeah it has happened. People promised me pineapples couldn't talk. Well they did. Im scared". It's for my own amusement obvs. Just to see their face.