Cheer up love

[sofiahelin1]

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh !!!
Haven't had that comment in years, just walking down the street minding my own business, not in a bad mood.
Wish I'd thought of something to say back
Was with my ds12 and told him never to say that to a woman, should of said it louder

Women in Korea are under so much social pressure they are having plastic surgery to make the corners of their mouth turn up.

We've been struggling for years to be treated with respect and stupid comments dont help.

Dizzy - can you see the difference between saying this to someone you know, and saying (or shouting...) it to a stranger on the street?

It's probably fine if it's someone you know, could be genuinely caring, but a bloke yelling it on the street at a woman he does not know (which is the OP's situation, and what most of us are talking about) is not 'being nice'.

Ugh I hate that. A man once said to me in the street, 'smile love, your face won't crack' - dh and I had just been told that ds may have a degenerative condition, I really didn't feel like smiling. The fact I didn't punch him in the nuts, surprises me to this day.

The last time someone said 'give us a smile, darling!', I replied that I would carve a smile into their face. They left me alone.

It's horrible, isn't it. The underlying message is "you need to rearrange your features into a more pleasing mien "

Why on earth would it be a nice thing to say? It's fucking rude - you don't give a toss what the person may be feeling, you just want them to plaster a smile across their chops on your say so. Completely unnecessary and unpleasant (someone said it to me not long after my mum died and it angered me so much, can you tell?)

This is a pet hate of mine too but in fairness to Dizzy's argument I have had it said in a 'nice' manner... maybe once. The guy went on to actually ask if I was okay. Otherwise they've all just been irritating and intrusive as fuck.

First ever time it happened to me I was 14, it was Christmas and my nan had just been taken into hospital. I smiled and nodded as I was so embarrassed and felt like I was somehow in the wrong for looking miserable but was angry afterwards that he had the gall to say anything to me.

I had this 1/2 hr after hearing my grandad had died.

What do they honestly think they are achieving by telling you to cheer up anyway?

Men have only said this to me on the street when I look really miserable. I am allowed to look really miserable. I looked miserable the day I found out my sister had a terminal illness in her 40's. Just fuck off.

It annoys the fuck out of me, and it's always men that have said it to me, never women. The last one who said it to me ended with me spinning around telling him to mind his own and I wasn't there to look cheerful/nice for him, my mum had just died and I didn't need that- I saw red.

It's always some insensitive gobby twat (the pub bore who thinks he's hilarious) that says it.

I've never had a woman say it to me, only men in the street who were complete strangers.
It's not 'nice' .

No he wasn't being nice, Dizzy. He was being a bitch a nosy smart arsed cunt. With too much to say. How did he know op had not just had bad news or something.

Cheer up. It might never happen. How do the cheer up brigade know that what ever 'it' is hasn't happened already.

Commanding a stranger to be happy is nice?

On what planet?

A woman is v unlikely to insist a stranger looks pleasing for them.

I can never ever understand why people think this is "nice". Demanding of a woman you don't know to look pretty, when you have no idea what's happening in their life, is offensive. "Are you ok?" is the way to ask if you really give a shit, but these men don't. Infuriates me that even some other WOMEN don't understand this.

'Cheer up love' isn't a nice comment. It means 'You're a female and I believe you exist to decorate my world, which you need to confirm for me by smiling insipidly at my command like you don't have a care in the world. Good girl.'

It's not pleasant, and any random ordering me to smile gets one of these at the very least.

CouncilOfLadies

I've had men say it to me before, few years ago. I don't think I look like I swear as much as I do, and to people I don't know I reign it in. So I think they were quite surprised when I just told them to fuck off.

for the sake of fairness, I did hear a woman say this - in fact it was worse, 'you look tired and miserable'!

The tone was chatty and good humoured sort of, it was to a woman who entered the shop, and then she was keen to help - but WHAT? p.s. the woman looked a bit tired as most people do at the end of the working day, but not especially miserable.

Exactly Darthvader. It infuriates me Rio that men still say it and that some women think it's being nice. Sometimes it's intimidating, sometimes annoying, sometimes upsetting, never nice.

Oh dear. I once said this (minus the "love") in the pub to some particularly grumpy looking man standing next to me.

Twenty two years later said man just brought me a cup of tea, still looking grumpy but is sweetheart underneath

So, worth it in my case but I agree a man saying this or anything ending in "love" unsolicited to a woman is a twat.

No lady should ever be allowed out in public without a big smile.

the new assistant in my local butcher's said 'cheer up it might never happen'. you should have seen his face when I said it already had as my Mum was being buried the next day. He made a quick exit to the back of the shop and I never saw him again,

I get it all the time.

It fucks me off.

Just leave me alone.

Next time people are going to say that a man holding a door open for a woman is sexist because it implies I can't do it myself

Again with the magic door opening. Isn't it lucky we have men to open doors or we'd be stuck in one room all day! Oh wait, no, I can and do open doors myself, and I thank anyone who holds a door for me whether they have a penis or not. And brace yourself Dizzy because this is going to blow your skirt up - I actually open doors for other people too, with my puny lady arms!! Don't faint now!