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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So.. today the school sent my DS on a trip i didn't give permission for him to go on...

258 replies

Skullyton · 14/01/2016 17:02

My friend was picking my 9yo and 6yo up after school today, and when she got there, DS wasn't there, and they told her he had gone on the school trip.

The School trip i never filled the form out for, so hadn't given consent for him to go on.

It was only a trip to the local college for a panto, but DS has ASD and needs full time 1:1, and plays scare him, so he was quite adamant when the forms for it were sent home that he didn't want to go, so i never returned the permission slip.

One of the office staff this morning asked me in passing if he was going, and i said "No, i never filled out the permission slip"

So to say i'm a little annoyed is an understatement. Yes he was safe, he was with his 1:1, but i did not give consent for him to go, he should not have been off the school premises!

I called the school as soon as i knew and left a message, but that was at 4.15, and no-ones called back.

How do i approach this in the morning?

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/01/2016 10:50

It's the Teacher's responsibility to know that all consent forms are in for those children given permission from parents.

The secretary doesn't come into it at our school, all form signing is done via the classroom, not the school office.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/01/2016 10:52

Posted too soon, might still be worth bringing it up with HT anyway and get some clarification on it.

MaureenMLove · 15/01/2016 12:16

Is not her fault though. The person leading the trip is at fault. The person who took the list of students going and the consent/medical forms on the trip with them. It didn't add up. Cannot believe a primary school did not check, count, check, and count again at least twice before they left the building.

That should have been all it took to see that the two didn't tally.

Fair enough, the secretary apologised and she's sorry, but there's still something missing in this trail of paperwork and policy.

Do still raise this point OP.

Original poster
Skullyton · 15/01/2016 12:19

It's quite a big school, the office has 3 secretaries and they do all the admin. I assume the lady I spoke to yesterday was the one responsible for handing the trip lists that are then handed to the teachers. There were 1.5 classes going yesterday, the others all went on Wednesday.

She really was very apologetic and blamed herself entirely, and really couldn't offer any explanation other then her own oversight, especially as she had actually asked me directly that morning!

OP posts:
woollytights · 15/01/2016 12:23

Well obviously what's done is done now, nobody was harmed whatsoever, the best case scenario happened given the circumstances. I agree with Dotty. I mean this in the kindest way possible, it's not worth getting hysterical over something that has already happened, can't be changed and had no negative impact whatsoever (other than causing you the need to make school aware of their error). Having said all this, I agree fully they were in the wrong and ought to establish what caused this to happen and apply a more diligent approach to parental consent for outings in future.

DamedifYouDo · 15/01/2016 12:41

If the school had robust systems in place than this could not have happened! I would want an assurance from the head that procedures will be reviewed to ensure this can't happen again.

SugarDiabetes · 15/01/2016 12:49

Personally I'd be happy with an apology.

I like it when someone has the balls to hold their hands up and say "I cocked up" rather than hide behind something else, particularly in the 'blame culture' society we're in.

kickassangel · 15/01/2016 12:56

OP - it sounds like the school generally does a good job with your DS, and that they have seen their mistake and owned it. If you have questions then of course you should discuss those with the HT/classteacher. My attitude to this would vary according to whether this was a one-off genuine mistake (albeit a pretty major one) in an otherwise good school, or just another example of carelessness. As it's the former, I think having a discussion, and perhaps putting in the additional check of the trip leader verbally confirming with you , would be enough at this stage.

JamesetjeeBomanjee · 15/01/2016 12:59

That sounds like a genuine apology.

saggyboobs1 · 15/01/2016 13:11

What a thread! Skully, I agree with Maureen, it's not the secretary's fault (entirely). Whoever was leading the trip should have been checking the children's names against a list. In particular, given your son's needs, I would have expected them to double-check that he would be going. I would definitely still discuss this with the HT; I don't think it's fair to let the secretary take all the blame. Maybe give yourself some time to think over the week-end though. I'm glad it didn't end in disaster for your son though.

ConesOfDunshire · 15/01/2016 13:27

That does sound like they genuinely appreciate the potential severity of the situation.

Moving forward, I would strongly recommend that a risk assessment is put in place with your input as part of the conversations that you're having around the EHCP application. This isn't just to protect your DS, but also his 1:1.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/01/2016 13:33

I am glad to hear that the secretary apologised (and, like a previous poster, I suspect she has had a sleepless night worrying about this).

I also agree with saggy, that it is not all the secretary's fault - the school should have more robust procedures in place, to ensure that everyone who needs to know details about trips etc, does.

This incident has pointed up the fact that the school's procedures have a hole in them - that led to an incident which, although it didn't end in trouble or disaster, could have done - and which did cause worry and anxiety for a parent - and the school needs to be communicating clearly with you, Skullyton, to tell you what changes they will be making, to ensure that this does not and cannot happen again.

In your shoes, I would accept the apology from the secretary, and would contact the Head to ask what measures the school will be putting in place to ensure better communication of these vital details between the office, the teaching staff and the support staff. I would be asking for details, not just a 'Lessons have been learned and procedures will be updated' brush-off.

bigbuttons · 15/01/2016 14:01

Of course it's genuine apology. The school knows it's potentially in HUGE trouble over this. They will brown nose to within an inch of their lives.

Lucy61 · 15/01/2016 14:30

I'm pleased she apologised and I'm sure she has been very worried about this. It does seem that the school assumes that everyone will go to school unless otherwise stated. They shouldn't.

As others have said, it's not the secretary's job to be accountable for this. Your child's outing should have been planned carefully and risk assessed. The risk assessment would include details such as what would be done if your child found the event too much- where would he be taken to calm down? Who will be with him? Next time there is a school trip I would ask for the risk assessment.

SuburbanRhonda · 15/01/2016 16:20

Of course it's genuine apology. The school knows it's potentially in HUGE trouble over this. They will brown nose to within an inch of their lives.

What a nasty post.

IguanaTail · 15/01/2016 16:41

It's not the secretary's fault. The trip leader should check through the permission slips as they are reponsible. Not the admin. I'm sure they'll do this from now on more carefully.

LalaLyra · 15/01/2016 16:56

I would be happy with a genuine apology IF they could show how they'd ensure this wouldn't happen again.

Saying sorry is one thing, but they need to shore up their procedures because that's a serious error. OFSTED would have a field day with them over it.

Have you heard anything from the HT? I'd expect a call from them because an error this serious should have been flagged up to them.

Original poster
Skullyton · 15/01/2016 17:22

Iguana, the trip leader is the Admin team, they collate all the slips and feed back to the teacher.

I spoke to the Deputy HT after school today, and he confirmed it was an 'admin error' and has again apologised. He also said if i wished to take it further, which was absolutely my right to do so, he would support me 100% .. but i said i didnt want to, i just wanted them to reassure me they'd review the procedure to make sure it didn't happen again, and he thanked me for being so understanding. I'm quite sure there are plenty of parents who wouldn't have been.

He said they have a Senior Leadership Team meeting monday evening and he will raise it as a matter of urgency in the meeting.

Ds's teacher has also apologised and said she relies on the info the office give her for trips, but feels even if they review procedure that she will now keep a personal record of the slips coming back into her class to cover herself.

I have worked in schools myself and am a qualified TA, so i have had to do safeguarding training myself, for all it was before i had children so its been a few years, so while i know this was a major clanger, i dont feel i need to drag the school over the coals for it, they've apologised, aknowledged they messed up and agreed to look into it.

I think if it had gone wrong and DS hadn't enjoyed it, or they had been anything other than apologetic, i probably would have made a formal complaint, but at this point i'm happy to leave it as it is.

OP posts:
Lucy61 · 15/01/2016 17:33

Well done, Op. Also, good on your ds for coping well with it all.

Wizzysmum1 · 15/01/2016 17:42

Did you fill out a 7 year consent form at some point because if you did they can take children on trips regardless if you have or haven't filled out permission for a specific trip x

RideEmCowgirl · 15/01/2016 17:53

OP - I think you have handled this really well. Complete cock up by the school but they held their hands up straight away. I respect that and when my DS (has the same diagnosis as yours) school has mucked up but has acknowledged that, I feel inclined to believe that it won't happen again.

It seems like you have a good relationship with the school and as I have found out over the years, that is invaluable

Obs2016 · 15/01/2016 18:23

Goodness me, what a pickle!!

IguanaTail · 15/01/2016 19:10

We have a secretary in the office who does the admin for trips but it is ultimately down to the person leading the trip to cross-check and the SLT to sign it off.

Are you saying that the secretary, on top of preparing the paperwork, was also leading the trip, as in on the trip and having overall responsibility for everything that took place on the trip?

SummerHouse · 15/01/2016 19:15

Does it really matter when it was a genuine mistake that they are sorry for and he was ok and enjoyed it. I really don't see the big deal.

ArkATerre · 15/01/2016 19:17

Do you think they might be trying to make a point about the level of support your DS needs I.e from what they have observed and what you have told them?