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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not move on the train?

1004 replies

TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 12:30

I was on a very busy packed train with my friend and DS. DS was in a sling, we had the buggy and I was feeding him. We were standing by the doors (no one offered us seats!) trying to feed a screaming baby, penned in by others standing. There was no where we could go.

People tried to push past us to get out the doors and nearly sent DS flying. I firmly asked if they could use one of the other doors and I literally couldn't go anywhere. Cue mutterings and dirty looks!

We couldn't collapse the pram there wasn't room to do and as no one had offered a seat we couldn't move anywhere! WIBU to ask them to use another door?

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/01/2016 18:01

Seriously now OP, why can't you see how batshit this is. I think one or two people have agreed with you. Why on earth can't you see your behaviour was totally unreasonable?

Notso · 12/01/2016 18:01

I would have parked it where it was. I don't mind people climbing over it or stepping past it
How on earth does this fit with,
...I'm considerate of others with extra needs on trains...

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 18:02

Rhonda

No. I just turn up on the platform and wait

OP posts:
lorelei9 · 12/01/2016 18:03

so in exchange for someone being kind enough to give you a seat, you're not kind enough to get the buggy out of the way by folding it down? You're now in a seat with baby, so you could take the shopping bags and keep them behind your legs.

then your friend could have folded the buggy and got it out of everyone's way.

you really can't see any of this?

HamaTime · 12/01/2016 18:04

If you threw my buggy off a train you'd have gotten a slap

I'd have thrown it off too. I've got a left hook that can take out a horse and might be tempted to use it on some arse who was blocking what is essentially a fire exit. Who the fuck do you think you are?

SuburbanRhonda · 12/01/2016 18:05

Rhonda

No. I just turn up on the platform and wait

Didn't work, though, did it? As you weren't prepared for the arrival of your train at - erm - the train station.

Maybe an area to work on for next time.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/01/2016 18:05

Notso it doesn't. This whole thread is a web of contradictions. There are blatant lies. How much of it is less than the truth though is anyone's guess...

Roussette · 12/01/2016 18:05

It is all about planning. I've done similar journeys when my DCs were little. I would have the buggy folded ready, I would have my non useless friend primed to carry the bags and the buggy and I would've fed my DCs.

tiggerkid · 12/01/2016 18:06

I would have parked it where it was. I don't mind people climbing over it or stepping on it I mind people pushing past me when I can't move anywhere - so people, who needed to get off that train, had to either stay put or push through the entire packed carriage to get to another door until you could find a way to move? I am sorry, maybe I am the unreasonable one here but I really do think that it was much simpler for you and your friend to get off the train in order to allow people to leave and then get back on again. I assume the friend would be able to help get the buggy off and back on again.

If I made a choice to get on a train like that with a hungry child and a buggy I couldn't fold, I think I would be more likely to regret making such a decision than blame the entire carriage of people for inconveniencing me.

I am sorry if that seems harsh. I am not trying to be offensive; it's just an honest commuter's perspective.

Chippednailvarnish · 12/01/2016 18:06

Completely agree Paul, must be the glue!

goodnightdarthvader1 · 12/01/2016 18:06

If you threw my buggy off a train you'd have gotten a slap darth, so if you want to be needlessly aggressive don't worry I can easily play that game

Would have been hard to slap me because I would have been off the train, on my way home, and you are encumbered with a baby, shopping, and excessive clumsiness so probably would have tripped over your own feet trying to chase me, apparently Smile

maybebabybee · 12/01/2016 18:06

Out of interest, where the arse were all of you lot when I was getting flamed on another thread for saying it might not be the best idea for parents with very young DC to travel in rush hour if they could possibly avoid it?! Grin

Sunnybitch · 12/01/2016 18:06

Is that why your called hamatime Grin

MNHQ
IonaMumsnet · 12/01/2016 18:07

Ahem www.mumsnet.com/info/netiquette

sugar21 · 12/01/2016 18:07

God help those poor selfishworkingtired commuters if an emergency annoucement was made ( and it has happened) and your buggy was blocking an exit.
Lives could be lost.

CouncilOfLadies · 12/01/2016 18:07

I would've thrown the buggy, her shopping and her useless friend off the train. I wouldn't throw Audacity off the train. It's not his fault his mother is basically Waynetta Slob.

littlemermaid80 · 12/01/2016 18:08

OP.

I've just read this bloody essay.

You absolutely WERE being U. You need to recognize that.

It's not a "mumsnet thing" at all. I've just related to my DH your experience (he doesn't even know I'm on MN) and his response was Shock how anyone be so self absorbed.

You have posted on a public forum asking for opinions and are now refusing to accept these opinions.

You stated "How can people not understand it's easier for an able bodied adult to walk to another door than it is to move everything on and off with a baby? When I'm blocked in?"

Well, how do you know that they're able bodied? You don't. You are assuming.
You are coming across as massively selfish and unreasonable and I think that on this occasion you need to concede that you have behaved badly.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/01/2016 18:08

But.... But.... Iona!!!!

miaowmix · 12/01/2016 18:08

This thread is just wow.

CatsMeow you are quite astonishingly unreasonable in every sense. Would it kill you to admit you're wrong?

You do know that pretty much most people on this thread are parents (though some, like me, are middle class London twats), so have almost certainly been that person with a baby on public transport at some point? And lots of us commute. Even the not-London ones.

The again, you sound a bit disconnected from real life, things like rush hour seem to baffle you. Maybe there's something we're missing here?

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 12/01/2016 18:09

What the fuck was the problem with saying excuse me could you possibly mve up the aisle just for a minute whilst I fold the buggy so we all have a bit more space. You couldn't say that but have the gall to say to use other doors?

Also, if you choose to carry a heavy baby in a sling when you have hypermobility then complain about people not being considerate to you because you're holding a heavy baby. You are being a drama llama!

emotionsecho · 12/01/2016 18:09

So your buggy would still be blocking the exit and inconveniencing people trying to get off the train, but you are a kind and considerate person who thinks of others, hmmm.

BoGrainger · 12/01/2016 18:10

Have thoroughly enjoyed reading through this classic AIBU.

Lots of contradictions op, I presume you are still angry. e.g. You asked why you should be forced to wait for the next train yet expect the people getting on behind you to do exactly that.

What I don't understand is that there was movement on and off the train but you seem to be fixed in the same place being jostled for the entire journey. As soon as there is some movement, that's the time to shift to a less inconvenient spot, maybe over to the other side where the doors will not be opening? At some point could the buggy be turned sideways so less of an obstruction? Also watch out for someone collecting their belongings and be ready to grab the seat? I'm sure no one would deny a feeding mother the chance to sit down, your friend could have gone and grabbed it for you.

Also, why was the pram sliding? Were the brakes not on?

goodnightdarthvader1 · 12/01/2016 18:10

The again, you sound a bit disconnected from real life, things like rush hour seem to baffle you. Maybe there's something we're missing here?

Maybe OP has never worked? Or I'd say maybe she has always commuted by car, but if that was the case, I would have expected her to the take the car today.

Or she's a raging troll. People this unreasonable who continue to return to the thread usually are.

lorelei9 · 12/01/2016 18:10

Sunny "Is that why your called hamatime"

I think MC Hammer's lyrics are apt here - my, my, my, my.

in so many ways!! Who knew MC Hammer could be made to seem so profound?!

hippowithsuncreen · 12/01/2016 18:11

On a very busy train I was on recently they stopped the train at a station after asking people to fold prams and move stuff because between prams and cases people could not get off. When no one did they stopped the train at the next station, took all the bags blocking the aisle and babyless buggies blocking off the train and on to the platform because it was a safety hazard. (obviously a member of staff stood with the stuff)

If you were on your own I would be more forgiving than with another person who could help you.

Supposing everyone else did the same.

It is people doing things like this which means asd dd wont go on the train anymore

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