To not move on the train?

[TheCatsMeow]

I was on a very busy packed train with my friend and DS. DS was in a sling, we had the buggy and I was feeding him. We were standing by the doors (no one offered us seats!) trying to feed a screaming baby, penned in by others standing. There was no where we could go.

People tried to push past us to get out the doors and nearly sent DS flying. I firmly asked if they could use one of the other doors and I literally couldn't go anywhere. Cue mutterings and dirty looks!

We couldn't collapse the pram there wasn't room to do and as no one had offered a seat we couldn't move anywhere! WIBU to ask them to use another door?

[JohnLuther]

You cannot block the doors YABU.

[Bounced]

Sorry, but you need to fold before you get on next time. Or step off, wait by the door on the platform, and get on again before the new influx of people. Otherwise you will make people miss their stops, as they wont be able to manoeuvre down a packed carriage in time to get off.

I can see it was tricky, though. I'd suggest seeing if other slings are more comfy (try your local sling library) so as to avoid taking the buggy at all - that was my solution for when I had to travel at busy times. If that's not an option, then fold buggy and get baby in sling on the platform before you get on.

[weeblueberry]

YABU. If you say to people 'if you can give me a wee bit room to pop the buggy down we'll all have more space' I'm pretty sure folk would have moved into the aisle for a moment to let you do it. In fact I'd be surprised if no one offered to help you when you try and help them out.

I know how tricky it is in that situation but, from their point of view, you were essentially taking up 2 and a half peoples worth of room (you, the baby and the buggy) which would be pretty annoying.

[OooohHorlicks]

To be fair, if there were people between you and the doors then it doesn't sound as though you were the only ones at fault. The onus is on the people closest to the door to step out and let people off but I know from experience that people instead do a strange leaning thing that gives the impression that they're making an effort but in fact makes no difference to space.

In your shoes though I might have apologised and shuffled around looking for a gap and shamed people into moving rather than demanding about turns. I can see why people would have been sniffy.

[fuzzywuzzy]

During rush hour, where I am they don't let un-collapsed bicycles on the train. Last week a man attempted to board with a bike that didn't collapse and he was told to get off.

That's TFL tho, not sure what the other train company policies are.

IMO YABU, in rush hour you have to let people on/off and accept you will be squashed, if the aisle was clear you could have stood in it and fed your baby a bit more comfortably. If you stand in the doorway, you will get barged, If I'm in a packed train and end up near the door I always get off and let people off and then get on again (not everyone does, and it causes so much congestion on the train).

You can't expect to be offered a seat during rush hour either, also if you were by the doors and it was that packed nobody would have offered you a seat you would have had better luck near the seats i.e. standing in the aisles.

[Herrerarerra]

YABVU!

I was on a train just before Christmas which was rammed, I had to struggle through those standing in the aisle when I got close to my stop and when I got to the bit by the doors my way was blocked by someone with a buggy who tutted and rolled their eyes when I asked if they could let me past. The world does not revolve around you just because you've managed to produce a child.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Come on, really?

You fold the buggy before you get on, especially if your child is in a sling so doesn't need it. Friend can hold the bags, or a stranger might help. Then you get on, and when people need to get passed, you say; "Can everyone move down a bit please?" if nobody is automatically going into the aisles, which would be very strange.

Bikes and luggage aren't supposed to block the door either, but if you had an unfolded buggy, you can't really complain about those.

I wonder if you'd have been offered a seat if the buggy was folded? Commuters can be funny about people taking up lots of room, and you were probably taking up more than one person's space anyway (you and baby), then the buggy (probably two people's space?) and the bags on the buggy which would have made it bulkier.

If you need sling and buggy, I'd take quieter trains, and make sure you can fold the buggy. Otherwise, take turns carrying baby with friend? Or get a better sling. Or put baby in the buggy, I guess, although that would be my least preferred option because of how bulky and annoying they are on trains in general.

[lorelei9]

YABU
I agree that people block the place with bags and bikes but that doesn't mean it's okay
Couldn't your friend have collapsed the buggy?

also, on a rammed train some people will have moved along through the crowd to the exit door that you were blocking - did they even have time to squeeze back through that section of crowd to the next door? On a crowded train, they might not have seen you till they got to the door!

I always avoid people with bikes and buggies and so on at the exit door but you can only do that if you see them to avoid them in the first place.

were you stuck on one of those massively delayed trains this morning, I know there's been an issue so my sympathies - but hard for everyone on the train.

[Sussexsavvy]

Was this in rush hour?

I understand your dilemma Thecats but I'm a commuter, Sussex to London and I think you are being unreasonable to expect fellow passengers to walk down a crowded carriage and exit via other doors. I don't know where you were travelling to/from but I know on the trains I travel on, people are stressed, incredibly short tempered, single minded and bloody miserable! I continued to commute until I was 8 months pregnant with a baby on board badge and I was never offered a seat. I used to find it quite depressing that people would barge past me and race me to the last seat even though you could see I was heavily pregnant.

I've also travelled on trains with baby and buggy since and will avoid rush hour trains at all costs, I won't catch a train before 10am and avoid the 4-6.30pm evening rush.

[SheHasAWildHeart]

I'm sorry but you don't know what kind of day some of those people were having either. If I was having a sh*tty day and got onto a train to sit on a seat I'd paid a lot of money for and then I saw a woman with an unfolded buggy shouting at people to use another door I don't think I'd be jumping out of my seat for her.

[MoMoTy]

Yabu, I would have given you a look too! You can't expect people to walk across the carriage when one is closest to them. I hope lesson learnt and next time you will fold it before you get on. Also you had a friend to help you so no excuse.

[TempusEedjit]

Why couldnt your friend have collapsed the buggy for you as the train approached (or taken DS for a moment if they didnt know how to do it)?Sorry but yabu.

[Leelu6]

OoooohHorlicks

I know from experience that people instead do a strange leaning thing that gives the impression that they're making an effort but in fact makes no difference to space.

That made me lol Sometimes I felt like I was the only person with sense on the tube. I was usually the person shouting 'can people please move down the carriage so others can get on!' This was during morning rush.

I'm so glad those days are over.

[thelittleredhen]

This is why, when you're travelling during busy times, you should always book in advance and book seats.

It's also possible to get off the train and get back on again when passengers have gotten off. I'd also periodically be having a walk through the train, or sending my friend to see if there are any spare seats.

[SheHasAWildHeart]

Also the train doors open and close so quickly someone could easily have missed their stop because you made them go the long way round!

[Leelu6]

I'm guessing this thread is going to get deleted as OP has outed herself in some way.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

You were blocking an exit, with a buggy that wouldn't collapse, and two young children, and you are surprised that people were annoyed?

You were a danger to your children, yourselves and the unfortunate passengers.

[Thurlow]

If you'd been on your own I would have been more sympathetic, as it might not have been the easiest thing in the world to collapse the biggy yourself. And yes, it would have been nice if someone had offered you a seat.

But you had a friend with you. Why couldn't they have collapsed the pushchair, or held your DS while you did it?

I know once you're on a train and it gets packed it gets awkward to manoeuvre and to get into a comfortable space.

But it was definitely U to ask people to walk down a carriage and use another door. If you were in the way, you could step down for one second to let people off and then get back on the train.

[Suzietwo]

Did you ask for a seat rather than just wait to be offered?

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Why on earth didn't you just step off the train, wait for everyone else to get off and then get back on?!

Not a chance would I have turned around and fought my way through a carriage to another door, we would have had words I'm afraid. Having a baby with you does not render you helpless! And I say this as a mother with a 7 month old and an older chold who spends lots of time on trains!!

[SuperFlyHigh]

So you're stopping people getting on and off the train?!

I'd have offered you a seat.

Yes YABU and I hope you take this into consideration for next time you take a train with your DC.

[nmg85]

YABU about expecting someone to walk to the next door especially if they had luggage / bags with them. the train doesn't stay in a station long enough to do this. However YANBU that your son got pushed

[Kintan]

You can't stop people getting off a busy train! They would not make it through the carriage to get off in time before the doors shut if the train was as packed as my usual train.

[Crispbutty]

All those people getting off must mean there were empty seats .....

[OooohHorlicks]

Leelu6 they lean exactly like your italics!! Common sense yes you're right - that's what it is.